kozier17
28th Aug '07 Tue, 01:03
A 45 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.
While on the operating table she had a near-death experience.
Seeing God she asked, "Is my time up?"
God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."
Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a
face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck. She even had
someone come in and change her hair color and brighten her teeth! Since
she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make
the most of it.
After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While
crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.
Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had
another 43 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the
ambulance?"
God replied: "I didn't recognize you.":p
__________________________________________________ __________________________________________
A teacher had twenty-five students in her class and she presented each child in her class the first half of a well known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe these. Their insight may surprise you.
1. Don't change horses.......until they stop running.
2. Strike while the.............................bug is close.
3. It's always darkest before......Daylight Saving Time.
4. Never underestimate the power of............termites.
5. You can lead a horse to water but........how?
6. Don't bite the hand that.................looks dirty.
7. No news is..........................................imposs ible.
8. A miss is as good as a............Mr.
9. You can't teach an old dog new ............... math.
10. If you lie down with dogs, you'll..............stink in the morning.
11. Love all, trust.............. me.
12. The pen is mightier than the................... pigs.
13. An idle mind is.............the best way to relax.
14. Where there's smoke there's ................. pollution.
15. Happy is the bride who............gets all the presents.
16. A penny saved is ......................not much.
17. Two's company, three's .............. the Musketeers.
18. Don't put off till tomorrow what .......... you put on at bedtime.
19. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and...........you have to blow your nose.
20. There are none so blind as ............Stevie Wonder.
21. Children should be seen and not ...............spanked or grounded.
22. If at first you don't succeed.........get new batteries.
23. You get out of something only what you.......see in the picture on the box.
24. When the blind lead the blind....run & get out of the way.
And the WINNER . . . .
25. Better late than.............pregnant.
While on the operating table she had a near-death experience.
Seeing God she asked, "Is my time up?"
God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."
Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a
face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck. She even had
someone come in and change her hair color and brighten her teeth! Since
she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make
the most of it.
After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While
crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.
Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had
another 43 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the
ambulance?"
God replied: "I didn't recognize you.":p
__________________________________________________ __________________________________________
A teacher had twenty-five students in her class and she presented each child in her class the first half of a well known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe these. Their insight may surprise you.
1. Don't change horses.......until they stop running.
2. Strike while the.............................bug is close.
3. It's always darkest before......Daylight Saving Time.
4. Never underestimate the power of............termites.
5. You can lead a horse to water but........how?
6. Don't bite the hand that.................looks dirty.
7. No news is..........................................imposs ible.
8. A miss is as good as a............Mr.
9. You can't teach an old dog new ............... math.
10. If you lie down with dogs, you'll..............stink in the morning.
11. Love all, trust.............. me.
12. The pen is mightier than the................... pigs.
13. An idle mind is.............the best way to relax.
14. Where there's smoke there's ................. pollution.
15. Happy is the bride who............gets all the presents.
16. A penny saved is ......................not much.
17. Two's company, three's .............. the Musketeers.
18. Don't put off till tomorrow what .......... you put on at bedtime.
19. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and...........you have to blow your nose.
20. There are none so blind as ............Stevie Wonder.
21. Children should be seen and not ...............spanked or grounded.
22. If at first you don't succeed.........get new batteries.
23. You get out of something only what you.......see in the picture on the box.
24. When the blind lead the blind....run & get out of the way.
And the WINNER . . . .
25. Better late than.............pregnant.