ShaneIshA
25th Sep '07 Tue, 21:16
I've always been amazed of love. The feeling really is wonderful, yet painful. There are some things that I've read about love and I'd like to share them with you.
Love is often misunderstood by the people in this generation. Most people only see it as an issue of the glands, a matter of preference or a passing emotion.
Most people assume that friendship, dependence and sexual attraction are all aspect of the complicated force called love. However, Fisher's research indicates that lust, infatuation and long-term attachment are distinct drives. "Lust is not love. Lust is driven by brain chemistry, plain and simple. Your levels of oxytocin and vasopressin will go way up, and you'd better be ready for the consequences. These powerful chemicals produce feelings of attachment, and you will become emotionally involved."
Romantic love, or infatuation, is associated with different chemicals. Romantic loves, she hypothesises, produces dopamine, which generates obsessive feelings about the other. From an evolutionary point of view, this natural addicttion ensures that both parties will stick together and do the hard work if a pregnancy occurs. Infatuation is also characterised by persistent 'intrusive thinking' about the loved one. "People who are infatuated testify that they're thinking about their lover at least 90 per cent of the time," she say. "It's no wonder that people in love feel so messed up."
Love is an action. "I" is the subject of that declarative sentence. "Love" is the action, and "you" is the subject. When one says "I love you," he or she declares an act. However, that action entails more than just sex. Those words is an act of the will and of the heart. Love is an unconditional commitment to the greatest good of another, usually resulting to sacrifice.
One's will chooses to love. One's heart sustains that choice because it is often irrational. a friend of mine, once said that, "It [love] makes no sense at all. But there are also times when it's perfectly rational. And as you go, you realize that in love you use your head first, then you follow your heart."
"You have to start by picking the right person, then establish some mutual goals and stick to them. Infatuation is a free ride, an overwhelming physiological and psychological exprience that can swamp the rational mind. It is blissful when it is returned, excruciatingly painful when rejected."
It is excruciatingly painful when infatuation gets rejected, I should know, I've been rejected a few times already. You might think that he or she might be the one, but she just isn't. If you really love her, you have to let go. "Unconditional love is not putting conditions - I will only love if you love me back." Of course, you'd feel so sad if you've been rejected. I felt so unappreciated when I was rejected, it was like I gave my best, but my best wasn't enough. But of course, if you really love that person, you'd let him/her go.
Love seeks the happiness of the other person, not just yours. If you think love is like that, then you're just loving yourself. The best things in life, including love, are free. Nothing can buy love, not even love 'currency.' Even if you loved her so much, don't expect that it will be returned. If you really love her, then you should let her go; not just physically but also psychologically. Don't take it against yourself if she doesn't fall for you. If she's yours, she'll go back. You should let go.
Well, if you really loved someone, you don't get over that. Maybe you let go, but, deep inside, even if you're friends with that person, even if you've fallen in love with someone else, even if you've completely changed, even if he or she destroyed your life, you'd still feel that heartache. But it's not really a matter of getting over the person, but a matter of letting go of the person and coping up and not dwelling anymore. We really have to keep moving on in our lives, you don't want to be left behind. You have to keep on living.
But there's one thing that you should keep in mind: do not regret. Yes, rejection can be a painful experience and you'd think that all the time that you spent in courting that person has just gone to waste but there's always something to learn. Remember, learn from your mistakes. There's this quote that is being circulated over the cellular networks: How do you get a good life? By making right decisions. How do you make right decisions? By getting experience. How do you get experience? By making wrong decisions. Funny, right? But it is true.
This quote, also circulating in the cellular network, will sum up what I am trying to say: "Someday, someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else."
Love is often misunderstood by the people in this generation. Most people only see it as an issue of the glands, a matter of preference or a passing emotion.
Most people assume that friendship, dependence and sexual attraction are all aspect of the complicated force called love. However, Fisher's research indicates that lust, infatuation and long-term attachment are distinct drives. "Lust is not love. Lust is driven by brain chemistry, plain and simple. Your levels of oxytocin and vasopressin will go way up, and you'd better be ready for the consequences. These powerful chemicals produce feelings of attachment, and you will become emotionally involved."
Romantic love, or infatuation, is associated with different chemicals. Romantic loves, she hypothesises, produces dopamine, which generates obsessive feelings about the other. From an evolutionary point of view, this natural addicttion ensures that both parties will stick together and do the hard work if a pregnancy occurs. Infatuation is also characterised by persistent 'intrusive thinking' about the loved one. "People who are infatuated testify that they're thinking about their lover at least 90 per cent of the time," she say. "It's no wonder that people in love feel so messed up."
Love is an action. "I" is the subject of that declarative sentence. "Love" is the action, and "you" is the subject. When one says "I love you," he or she declares an act. However, that action entails more than just sex. Those words is an act of the will and of the heart. Love is an unconditional commitment to the greatest good of another, usually resulting to sacrifice.
One's will chooses to love. One's heart sustains that choice because it is often irrational. a friend of mine, once said that, "It [love] makes no sense at all. But there are also times when it's perfectly rational. And as you go, you realize that in love you use your head first, then you follow your heart."
"You have to start by picking the right person, then establish some mutual goals and stick to them. Infatuation is a free ride, an overwhelming physiological and psychological exprience that can swamp the rational mind. It is blissful when it is returned, excruciatingly painful when rejected."
It is excruciatingly painful when infatuation gets rejected, I should know, I've been rejected a few times already. You might think that he or she might be the one, but she just isn't. If you really love her, you have to let go. "Unconditional love is not putting conditions - I will only love if you love me back." Of course, you'd feel so sad if you've been rejected. I felt so unappreciated when I was rejected, it was like I gave my best, but my best wasn't enough. But of course, if you really love that person, you'd let him/her go.
Love seeks the happiness of the other person, not just yours. If you think love is like that, then you're just loving yourself. The best things in life, including love, are free. Nothing can buy love, not even love 'currency.' Even if you loved her so much, don't expect that it will be returned. If you really love her, then you should let her go; not just physically but also psychologically. Don't take it against yourself if she doesn't fall for you. If she's yours, she'll go back. You should let go.
Well, if you really loved someone, you don't get over that. Maybe you let go, but, deep inside, even if you're friends with that person, even if you've fallen in love with someone else, even if you've completely changed, even if he or she destroyed your life, you'd still feel that heartache. But it's not really a matter of getting over the person, but a matter of letting go of the person and coping up and not dwelling anymore. We really have to keep moving on in our lives, you don't want to be left behind. You have to keep on living.
But there's one thing that you should keep in mind: do not regret. Yes, rejection can be a painful experience and you'd think that all the time that you spent in courting that person has just gone to waste but there's always something to learn. Remember, learn from your mistakes. There's this quote that is being circulated over the cellular networks: How do you get a good life? By making right decisions. How do you make right decisions? By getting experience. How do you get experience? By making wrong decisions. Funny, right? But it is true.
This quote, also circulating in the cellular network, will sum up what I am trying to say: "Someday, someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else."