If government is going to put health warning labels on beer, wine and
liquor, let's at least have a little truthfulness about the matter!

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with breath that
could knock a buzzard off a shit truck at 100 yards.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot.


WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are
really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning. (Or your
friends, of course. I've done both)

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story
over and over again until your friends want to smash your head in.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss what you
REALLY THINK while photocopying your butt at the office Christmas party.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the heck ever
happened to your pants anyway.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning
and see something really scary (whose species and/or name you can't
remember).

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug
burn on the forehead.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are
tougher, handsomer, and smarter than some really, really huge biker guy
named "Big Al".