Four guys, from U.P, La Salle, FEU and Harvard were to be interviewed for prestigious job. One common question was
asked to
all 4 of them.

INTERVIEWER: WHICH IS THE FASTEST THING IN THE WORLD?

U.P. guy: Its light, Nothing can travel faster than light
HARVARD Guy: It's the Thought; b'cos thought is so fast it comes
instantly
in your mind

La Salle guy: Its Blink, you can blink and its hard to realize you blinked

FEU: Its Loose motion

INTERVIEWER: (Shocked to hear Santa's reply, asked) "WHY"?

FEU: Last night after dinner, I was lying in my bed and I got
the
worst stomach cramps, and before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE
LIGHTS, it was over ...!!!

wahahaha!!okei 2 ah., hehehe

(*pa post brad ha..;) )

A man decides to have a face-lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really good about the results. On his way home, he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper.

Before leaving, he says to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?"

"About 35," was the reply.

"I'm actually 47," the man says, feeling really happy.

After that, he goes into McDonalds for lunch and asks the clerk the same question.

The reply is, "Oh, you look about 29".

"I am actually 47."

Later, while standing at a bus stop, he asks an old woman the same question.

She replies, "I am 85 years old, and my eyesight is going. But when I was young, there was a sure way of telling a man's age. If I put my hand down your pants and play with your balls for 10 minutes, I will be able to tell you your exact age."

As there was no one around, the man thinks, What the hell and lets her slip her hand down his pants.

Ten minutes later, the old lady says, "Okay, it's done. You are 47."

Stunned, the man says, "That was brilliant. How did you do that?"

The 85-year old lady, happy with her discovery...replies, "I was behind you at McDonalds." :rofl::rofl::rofl:

A couple went golfing one day at a very exclusive course lined with million dollar homes. On the third tee, the husband cautioned, 'Honey, be careful when you drive. If we break one of those windows, it’ll cost us a fortune to repair.'

Of course, she immediately shanked her drive right through the window of the biggest house on the course. The husband cringed, 'I warned you to watch out! Now we’ll have to go up there and apologize and see how much that lousy drive is going to cost us.'

They walked up, knocked on the door, and a warm voice said, 'Come on in.' When they opened the door they saw glass all over the place and a broken antique bottle lying on its side near the broken window. A man reclining on the couch asked, 'Are you the people that broke the window?'

'Uh:yeah, we’re very sorry about that,' the husband replied.

'Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you. You see, I’m a genie, and I’ve been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. Now that you’ve released me, I’m allowed to grant three wishes. I’ll give you each one wish, and I’ll keep the last one for myself.'

'Wow, that’s great!' the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, 'I’d like a million dollars a year for the rest of my life.'

'No problem,' said the genie, 'You’ve got it. I have already put a million dollars in your bank account. It’s the least I can do.'

'And now you, young lady, what do you want?' the genie asked.

'I’d like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every country in the world,' she said.

'Consider it done. The deeds are now in your name,' the genie said.

'And now,' the couple both asked in unison, 'what’s your wish, genie?'

'Well, since I’ve been trapped in that bottle and haven’t been with a woman in a thousand years, my wish is to have sex with your wife.'

The husband looked at his wife and said, 'Gee, honey, you know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?'

She mulled it over for a few moments and said, 'You know, you’re right. Considering all that, I guess I wouldn’t mind.'

The genie and the woman went upstairs where he ravished her for the rest of the afternoon. Both satisfied each other repeatedly, and afterwards, the genie rolled over and looked at the wife and asked, 'How old are you and your husband?'

'Why, we’re both thirty-five,' she responded breathlessly.

'No sh*t! Thirty-five years old and both of you still believe in genies?' :slap::slap::rofl:

Two in one grave.....

A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl's grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked...

"Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?"

"Of course not, dear," replied the mother, "Why would you think that?"

"The tombstone back there said...

'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'" :noidea::noidea::noidea:

haha... nice!:lol:

A couple went golfing one day at a very exclusive course lined with million dollar homes. On the third tee, the husband cautioned, 'Honey, be careful when you drive. If we break one of those windows, it’ll cost us a fortune to repair.'

Of course, she immediately shanked her drive right through the window of the biggest house on the course. The husband cringed, 'I warned you to watch out! Now we’ll have to go up there and apologize and see how much that lousy drive is going to cost us.'

They walked up, knocked on the door, and a warm voice said, 'Come on in.' When they opened the door they saw glass all over the place and a broken antique bottle lying on its side near the broken window. A man reclining on the couch asked, 'Are you the people that broke the window?'

'Uh:yeah, we’re very sorry about that,' the husband replied.

'Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you. You see, I’m a genie, and I’ve been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. Now that you’ve released me, I’m allowed to grant three wishes. I’ll give you each one wish, and I’ll keep the last one for myself.'

'Wow, that’s great!' the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, 'I’d like a million dollars a year for the rest of my life.'

'No problem,' said the genie, 'You’ve got it. I have already put a million dollars in your bank account. It’s the least I can do.'

'And now you, young lady, what do you want?' the genie asked.

'I’d like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every country in the world,' she said.

'Consider it done. The deeds are now in your name,' the genie said.

'And now,' the couple both asked in unison, 'what’s your wish, genie?'

'Well, since I’ve been trapped in that bottle and haven’t been with a woman in a thousand years, my wish is to have sex with your wife.'

The husband looked at his wife and said, 'Gee, honey, you know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?'

She mulled it over for a few moments and said, 'You know, you’re right. Considering all that, I guess I wouldn’t mind.'

The genie and the woman went upstairs where he ravished her for the rest of the afternoon. Both satisfied each other repeatedly, and afterwards, the genie rolled over and looked at the wife and asked, 'How old are you and your husband?'

'Why, we’re both thirty-five,' she responded breathlessly.

'No sh*t! Thirty-five years old and both of you still believe in genies?' :slap::slap::rofl:

:lol: :praise: :praise: :praise: