View Full Version : The Secret to a Lasting Marriage: Embrace Imperfection

28th Jan 2008, 09:37
When I was a little girl, my mom liked to make breakfast food for
dinner every now and then. And I remember one night in particular
when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work.

On that evening so long ago, my mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage,
and extremely burned toast in front of my dad. I remember waiting to see
if anyone noticed! Yet, all my dad did was reached for his toast, smiled
at my mom, and asked me how my day was at school.

I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember
watching him smear butter and jelly on that toast and eat every bite!
When I got up from the table that evening, I remember
hearing my mom apologize to my dad for burning the toast.
And I'll never forget what he said:
"Baby, I love burned toast."

Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if
he really liked his toast burned. He wrapped me in his arms and said,
"Debbie, your mommy put in a hard day at work today and she's real tired.
And besides, a little burnt toast never hurt anyone!"

In bed that night, I thought about that scene at dinner...and the
kindness my daddy showed my mom. To this day, it's a
cherished memory from my childhood that I'll never forget. And it's
one that came to mind just recently when Jack and I sat down to eat

I had arrived home late...as usual...and decided we would have
breakfast food for dinner. Some things never change, I suppose!

To my amazement, I found the ingredients I needed, and quickly began
to cook eggs, turkey sausage, and buttered toast.
Thinking I had things under control, I glanced through the mail for the
day. It was only a few minutes later that I remembered that I had
forgotten to take the toast out of the oven!

Now, had it been any other day -- and had we had more than two pieces
of bread in the entire house -- I would have started all over. But it had
been one of those days and I had just used up the last two pieces of
bread. So burnt toast it was!

As I set the plate down in front of Jack, I waited for a comment about
the toast. But all I got was a "Thank you!" I watched as he ate bite
by bite, all the time waiting for some comment about the toast. But
instead, all Jack said was, "Babe, this is great. Thanks for cooking
tonight. I know you had a hard day."

As I took a bite of my charred toast that night, I thought about my
mom and dad...how burnt toast hadn't been a deal-breaker for them.
And I quietly thanked God for giving me a marriage where burnt toast wasn't
a deal-breaker either!

You know, life is full of imperfect things...and imperfect people. I'm
not the best housekeeper or cook. And you might be surprised to find
out that Jack isn't the perfect husband! He likes to play his music too
loud, he will always find a way to avoid yard work, and he watches far
too many sports. Believe it or not, watching " Golf Academy " is not my
idea of a great night at home!

But somehow in the past 37 years Jack and I have learned to accept the
imperfections in each other. Over time, we have stopped trying to make
each other in our own mold and have learned to celebrate our
differences. You might say that we've learned to love each other for
who we really are!

For example, I like to take my time, I'm a perfectionist, and I'm
even-tempered. I tend to work too much and sleep too little. Jack, on
the other hand, is disciplined, studious, an early riser, and is a
marketer's dream consumer. I count pennies and Jack could care less!
Where he is strong, I am weak, and vice versa.

And while you might say that Jack and I are opposites, we're also very
much alike. I can look at him and tell you what he's thinking. I can
predict his actions before he finalizes his plans. On the other hand,
he knows whether I'm troubled or not the moment I enter a room.

We share the same goals. We love the same things. And we are still
best friends. We've traveled through many valleys and enjoyed many
mountaintops. And yet, at the same time, Jack and I must work every
minute of every day to make this thing called "marriage" work!

What I've learned over the years is that learning to accept each
other's faults - and choosing to celebrate each other's differences - is the
one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting
marriage relationship.

And that's my prayer for you today. That you will learn to take the
good, the bad, and the ugly parts of your married life and lay them at
the feet of GOD. Because in the end, He's the only One who will be
able to give you a marriage where burnt toast isn't a deal-breaker!

24th Nov 2008, 14:57
i've read this somewhere nung single pa ako and somehow remembers it by heart. and now that i'm married, i'm trying to live by it, to accept my hubby as he is, flaws and all.

26th Nov 2008, 18:51
yes this is so true. I found out that trying to change the imperfections of my husband will make him a different person, different from the one whom i fell in love with.In the first place, without his unusual quirks I would never have fallen for him.

another thing though., aside from learning to accept each other flaws and all., I think another secret to a lasting marriage is the ability to laugh even at the worst time of our lives. My husband and I share a good sense of humor. And If we can laugh it off., what the heck we can cetainly hurdle it off...;)

13th Aug 2009, 15:01
Nice one huh! Ang ganda nya!

16th Dec 2010, 09:59

6th Jan 2011, 05:02

now i know..
i'll remember this by heart..:)

7th Jan 2011, 00:11

8th Jan 2011, 00:49
cool..ang galing..

11th Jan 2011, 15:13

11th Jan 2011, 21:30
OO nga