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dazed_confused
3rd Jul 2007, 19:49
During the Great Depression, a man walked into a bar one day. He walked up to the bartender and said, "I'd like to buy the house a round of drinks." The bartender said, "That's fine, but we're in the middle of the Depression, so I'll need to see some money first." The guy pulls out a huge wad of bills and sets them on the bar. The bartender can't believe his eyes and asked: "Where did you get all that money?"

"I'm a professional gambler," replied the man. The bartender said, "There's no such thing! I mean, your odds are 50-50 at best, right?"

"Well, I only bet on sure things," said the guy. "For example, I'll bet you $50 that I can bite my right eye."

The bartender thought about it and said, "Okay." So, the guy pulls out his false right eye and bites it.

"Aw, you screwed me," said the bartender, and paid the guy his $50.

"I'll give you another chance. I'll bet you another $50 that I can bite my LEFT eye," said the stranger.

The bartender thought again and said, "Well, I know you're not blind, I mean I watched you walk in here. I'll take that bet." So, the guy pulls out his false teeth and bites his left eye.

"Aw, you screwed me again."

"That's how I win so much money, bartender. I'll just take a bottle of your best scotch in lieu of the $50," said the man. With that, the guy went to the back room and spent the better part of the night playing cards with some of the locals.

After many hours of drinking and card playing, he stumbled up to the bar. The guy, drunk as a skunk, said, "Bartender, I'll give you one last chance. I'll bet you $500 that I can stand on this bar here on one foot and piss into that whiskey bottle on that shelf behind you without spilling a drop."

The bartender once again pondered the bet. The guy couldn't even stand up straight on two feet, much less one. "Okay, you're on."

The guy climbed up on the bar, stood on one leg, and began pissing all over the place. He hit the bar, the bartender, himself, but not a drop made it into the whiskey bottle.

The bartender was ecstatic. Laughing, the bartender said, "Hey pal. You owe me $500!"

The guy climbed down off the bar and said, "That's okay. I just bet each of the guys in the card room $100 each that I could piss all over you and the bar, and still make you laugh!" mwahahaha...:lol: :rofl: :thumbsup:


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aLgiE
3rd Jul 2007, 19:56
:lol: ..... pansin ko puro beer jokes mo dazed ..... :lolcard: ...but its worth it ... :rofl:

Nadec23-7
3rd Jul 2007, 22:09
hahaha..:lol:

dazed_confused
4th Jul 2007, 00:48
:lol: ..... pansin ko puro beer jokes mo dazed ..... :lolcard: ...but its worth it ... :rofl:

pansin mo pala..honga eh..but tnx..dame kasi jokes mapulot sa inuman..hehe...inum tayo ehe di pala ...cheers (*ganun din pala haha..) ;)

aLgiE
4th Jul 2007, 08:47
:lolcard: daze isa kang dakila ..... tagay na lang para mas maganda pakinggan :lolcard: .....

dazed_confused
5th Jul 2007, 00:00
huh???!!! dakila? hmm...malalim at makapanyarihan na salita iyo binitiwan kamahalan...kung ganun...simula sa araw na ito...tagay na ang tawag mo sa akin, hindi na daze... okey ba? hehe :lol: (*prang laseng ako ah, magulo.. :rofl: )

aLgiE
5th Jul 2007, 08:54
:lol: masusunod tagay! :lol: .... dahil dyan may ipapadala ako sa aking mga kawal :coffee: -> di yan kopi beer yan para sayo ' tagay ' ... ahahahahaa :lolcard:

dazed_confused
6th Jul 2007, 01:56
tagay daw tagay, e di tagay gulp..huh???kamahalan di ko brand colt 45..pede po request yung kaya natin 'to-red horse, ice cold...tenchu po :excited: (*oist algie di kaya off thread na'to hehe, bka galet admin....)

rhope016
8th Jul 2007, 15:55
:lol: astig...:lol:

snowden
21st Feb 2010, 13:28
nice joke..