oblax15
21st Jul '08 Mon, 14:31
>
> ==============================================
>
> > SIR: Inday, c Sir mo 2..bangga kotse ko and i nid cash!
> > INDAY: Aru!!! dugo-dugo gang ka noh!
> > SIR: Gaga! c Sir mo talaga to!
> > INDAY: Gago! c Sir ang tawag saken CUPCAKE!!!!
> >
> ==================================
>
> > Tatlong nagyayabangan na daga ...
> > Daga 1: kakain ako ng keso na may rat-killer!
> > Daga 2: ha!!! kakain ako ng keso sa mouse trap!!!
> > Daga 3: tsk! tsk! tsk! manood kayo!!!! manrereyp ako ng pusa!!!
> >
> ========================================
> >
> > TEACHER: Anong mangyayari pag puputulin ang 1 mong tenga?
> > BOY: hihina po pandinig ko.
> > TEACHER: e kung dalawang tenga?
> > BOY: lalabo po paningin ko!
> > TEACHER: baket naman?
> > BOY: malalaglag po salamin ko.
> >
> > ==========================================
> >
> > Dalawang cra ulo....
> > SIRAULO 1: Magaling ka na ba?
> > SIRAULO 2: Oo namn!!!
> > SIRAULO 1: Talaga?...kaya mo bng 2mawid sa ilaw ng flashlight ko?
> > SIRAULO 2: Ano ko cra? e pano kung patayin mo flashlyt mo?...e d
> Nalaglag pa ko!!!
> >
> > ===========================================
> >
> > Dalawang magkaibigan nagtetext....
> > PEPE: Tol! pasa load namn! 2pesos lang, my katx lng me.
> > Tol: cge. w8 lng. (message sent)
> > Pepe: Tnx tol! bait mo talaga!
> > Tol: Gago! wag ka na magtex! sayang ung pinasa ko sayo!!!
> > Pepe: k.
> >
> =======================================
> >
> > SON: dady...baket umuungol c mommy kagabi? my sakit ba cya?
> > DAD: wala anak... happy lng cya.
> > SON: ibig sabihin, gabi-gabi cyang hapi kahit nung nasa states ka
> pa?
> >
> > ============================================
> >
> > ERAP: doc, i accidentally swallowed a chicken bone.
> > DOC: is it choking?
> > ERAP: it's max's.
> > DOC: i didnt mean chowking...i said, r u choking?
> > ERAP: no.. im serious!
> >
> > =================================
> >
> > YEAR 2005....
> > Prosti 1: sa sobrang hirap ng panahon ngaun,kahit 200 payag na ko.
> > Prosti 2: ako kahit 100..payag na!
> > Prosti 3: ako nga blowjob for free! may makain lng!!!
> >
> > ===========================================
> >
> > a man was cornered by a lion. he prayed..."Lord, pls make dis lion a
> > christian".
> > d lion suddenly knelt down and prayed....
> > LION: "bless this food that i'm about to receive thru Christ our
> LORD,
> > amen."
> >
> > ==============================================
> >
> > a priest lost a bird & asked during mass...
> > Priest: anyone got a bird?
> > all men stood up.
> > Priest: i mean, any1 seen a bird?
> > all women stood up.
> > Priest: i meant any1 seen my bird?
> > ...all nuns stood up
> >
> > ==========================
> >
> > ATTY: Inday! pwede mo bng idiscribe d2 sa korte ang taong nangrape
> sayo?
> > INDAY: maitim, panot, tagyawatin, pango ilong at bungal...
> > SUSPEK: cge!!!!...mangasar ka pa!!!!
> >
> > ==============================================
> >
> > After having sex, panay pa rin ang hawak ng girl sa organ ng
> lalaki....
> > BF: Gusto mo pa ulit?
> > GIRL: hindi..namimiss ko lng.......meron kc ako nito dati e....
> >
> ===========================================
> >
> > MRS: bilis dad! nahulog cel ko sa panty ko!!!! ..nagba-vibrate!!!
> > MR: e anong gagawin ko? kukunin ko sa panty mo?
> > MRS: gago!!!! kunin mo ung charger at baka malowbat!!!!
> >
> > ========================================
> >
> > dumating c ngongo sa bahay at tinakpan ang eyes ni> misis....
> > Ngongo: "nges hu?"....
> > MRS: pa-nges hu nges hu ka pa jan....e ikaw lng ngongo d2!!!!
> >
> > =======================================
> >
> > Dentist & Lover....
> > Dentist: we have 2 stop seeing each other... halata na tayo ng MR
> mo.
> > Lover: but we love each other!
> > Dentist: oo nga...but were running out of excuses....ISA NA LNG
> IPIN
> MO!
> >
> > ==============================================
> >
> > Anak: nay!!! my mens na ko!
> > Nay: ano kulay...aber?
> > Anak: dark brown nay!
> > Nay: lintik na bata to!!!! LBM yan!!! hala..maghugas ka na ng pwet!
> > ambisyosong BAKLA to!!!
> >
> > ==========================================
> >
> > Erap: lintek na ibon 2!! iniputan ako!
> > Bodyguard: sir, kukuha ako ng toilet paper...
> > Erap: wag na!! pano mo pa mapupunasan un e nakalipad na?! tanga!!!
> bobo!!!
> >
> > ============================================
> >
> > Arab interview at US immigration:
> > Q: ur name pls..
> > A: abdul aziz
> > Q: sex?
> > A: twice a wik..
> > Q: i mean male or female?
> > A: doesn't matter.... sometimes even with camel...
> >
> > ================================
> >
> > Patient: dok. malungkot d2 sa mental kaya naisipan kong sulatan ang
> sarili
> > ko...
> > Doc: e ano namn laman ng sulat mo?
> > Patient: d ko pa po alam kc next wik ko pa ata matatangap...
> >
> > ==============================================
> >
> > Jingoy: Dad, 22o bang may side effect ang viagra?
> > Erap: tanga! sa harap effect nyan hindi sa side!!!!
> >
> ================================
> >
> > Wife: honey... bili mo naman ako ng bra...
> > Husband: Hon.. wag ka ng magbra...liit namn dede mo e..
> > Wife: (taas ang kilay) e baket ikaw nakabrief?!!
> >
> =====================================
>
> > Convict: father...4give me 4 i have sinned...
> > Pari: sabihin mo lahat ng kasalanan mo anak.
> > Convict: father, pinatay ko lahat ng naniniwala sa diyos.kau ba
> > naniniwala sa kanya?
> > Pari: CNO UN?
> >
> > ========================================
> >
> > GIRL: Hide and seek tayo. if u find me, papayag akong makipag-sex
> sayo...
> > BOY: e kung di kita makita?
> > GIRL: nasa likod lng ako ng piano...
> >
> > =============================================
> >
> > GIRL: ang puti naman ng bird mo...
> > BOY: aba syempre ah!!! likas papaya ata gamit ko jan!!!
> > GIRL: ginagamitan mo rin ba ng downy?
> > BOY: baket? bango ba?
> > GIRL: lambot e!!!
> >
> =============================================
> >
> > u wont beliv wat things
> > people do these days...
> > i was sitting nxt
> > 2 dis girl in church
> > & in the middle of the mass
> > she lit a cigaret!
> >
> > na-shock ako!!!!...
> >
> > i almost dropped my redhorse!!!!
>
>
> GANON!?
>
> ==============================================
>
> > SIR: Inday, c Sir mo 2..bangga kotse ko and i nid cash!
> > INDAY: Aru!!! dugo-dugo gang ka noh!
> > SIR: Gaga! c Sir mo talaga to!
> > INDAY: Gago! c Sir ang tawag saken CUPCAKE!!!!
> >
> ==================================
>
> > Tatlong nagyayabangan na daga ...
> > Daga 1: kakain ako ng keso na may rat-killer!
> > Daga 2: ha!!! kakain ako ng keso sa mouse trap!!!
> > Daga 3: tsk! tsk! tsk! manood kayo!!!! manrereyp ako ng pusa!!!
> >
> ========================================
> >
> > TEACHER: Anong mangyayari pag puputulin ang 1 mong tenga?
> > BOY: hihina po pandinig ko.
> > TEACHER: e kung dalawang tenga?
> > BOY: lalabo po paningin ko!
> > TEACHER: baket naman?
> > BOY: malalaglag po salamin ko.
> >
> > ==========================================
> >
> > Dalawang cra ulo....
> > SIRAULO 1: Magaling ka na ba?
> > SIRAULO 2: Oo namn!!!
> > SIRAULO 1: Talaga?...kaya mo bng 2mawid sa ilaw ng flashlight ko?
> > SIRAULO 2: Ano ko cra? e pano kung patayin mo flashlyt mo?...e d
> Nalaglag pa ko!!!
> >
> > ===========================================
> >
> > Dalawang magkaibigan nagtetext....
> > PEPE: Tol! pasa load namn! 2pesos lang, my katx lng me.
> > Tol: cge. w8 lng. (message sent)
> > Pepe: Tnx tol! bait mo talaga!
> > Tol: Gago! wag ka na magtex! sayang ung pinasa ko sayo!!!
> > Pepe: k.
> >
> =======================================
> >
> > SON: dady...baket umuungol c mommy kagabi? my sakit ba cya?
> > DAD: wala anak... happy lng cya.
> > SON: ibig sabihin, gabi-gabi cyang hapi kahit nung nasa states ka
> pa?
> >
> > ============================================
> >
> > ERAP: doc, i accidentally swallowed a chicken bone.
> > DOC: is it choking?
> > ERAP: it's max's.
> > DOC: i didnt mean chowking...i said, r u choking?
> > ERAP: no.. im serious!
> >
> > =================================
> >
> > YEAR 2005....
> > Prosti 1: sa sobrang hirap ng panahon ngaun,kahit 200 payag na ko.
> > Prosti 2: ako kahit 100..payag na!
> > Prosti 3: ako nga blowjob for free! may makain lng!!!
> >
> > ===========================================
> >
> > a man was cornered by a lion. he prayed..."Lord, pls make dis lion a
> > christian".
> > d lion suddenly knelt down and prayed....
> > LION: "bless this food that i'm about to receive thru Christ our
> LORD,
> > amen."
> >
> > ==============================================
> >
> > a priest lost a bird & asked during mass...
> > Priest: anyone got a bird?
> > all men stood up.
> > Priest: i mean, any1 seen a bird?
> > all women stood up.
> > Priest: i meant any1 seen my bird?
> > ...all nuns stood up
> >
> > ==========================
> >
> > ATTY: Inday! pwede mo bng idiscribe d2 sa korte ang taong nangrape
> sayo?
> > INDAY: maitim, panot, tagyawatin, pango ilong at bungal...
> > SUSPEK: cge!!!!...mangasar ka pa!!!!
> >
> > ==============================================
> >
> > After having sex, panay pa rin ang hawak ng girl sa organ ng
> lalaki....
> > BF: Gusto mo pa ulit?
> > GIRL: hindi..namimiss ko lng.......meron kc ako nito dati e....
> >
> ===========================================
> >
> > MRS: bilis dad! nahulog cel ko sa panty ko!!!! ..nagba-vibrate!!!
> > MR: e anong gagawin ko? kukunin ko sa panty mo?
> > MRS: gago!!!! kunin mo ung charger at baka malowbat!!!!
> >
> > ========================================
> >
> > dumating c ngongo sa bahay at tinakpan ang eyes ni> misis....
> > Ngongo: "nges hu?"....
> > MRS: pa-nges hu nges hu ka pa jan....e ikaw lng ngongo d2!!!!
> >
> > =======================================
> >
> > Dentist & Lover....
> > Dentist: we have 2 stop seeing each other... halata na tayo ng MR
> mo.
> > Lover: but we love each other!
> > Dentist: oo nga...but were running out of excuses....ISA NA LNG
> IPIN
> MO!
> >
> > ==============================================
> >
> > Anak: nay!!! my mens na ko!
> > Nay: ano kulay...aber?
> > Anak: dark brown nay!
> > Nay: lintik na bata to!!!! LBM yan!!! hala..maghugas ka na ng pwet!
> > ambisyosong BAKLA to!!!
> >
> > ==========================================
> >
> > Erap: lintek na ibon 2!! iniputan ako!
> > Bodyguard: sir, kukuha ako ng toilet paper...
> > Erap: wag na!! pano mo pa mapupunasan un e nakalipad na?! tanga!!!
> bobo!!!
> >
> > ============================================
> >
> > Arab interview at US immigration:
> > Q: ur name pls..
> > A: abdul aziz
> > Q: sex?
> > A: twice a wik..
> > Q: i mean male or female?
> > A: doesn't matter.... sometimes even with camel...
> >
> > ================================
> >
> > Patient: dok. malungkot d2 sa mental kaya naisipan kong sulatan ang
> sarili
> > ko...
> > Doc: e ano namn laman ng sulat mo?
> > Patient: d ko pa po alam kc next wik ko pa ata matatangap...
> >
> > ==============================================
> >
> > Jingoy: Dad, 22o bang may side effect ang viagra?
> > Erap: tanga! sa harap effect nyan hindi sa side!!!!
> >
> ================================
> >
> > Wife: honey... bili mo naman ako ng bra...
> > Husband: Hon.. wag ka ng magbra...liit namn dede mo e..
> > Wife: (taas ang kilay) e baket ikaw nakabrief?!!
> >
> =====================================
>
> > Convict: father...4give me 4 i have sinned...
> > Pari: sabihin mo lahat ng kasalanan mo anak.
> > Convict: father, pinatay ko lahat ng naniniwala sa diyos.kau ba
> > naniniwala sa kanya?
> > Pari: CNO UN?
> >
> > ========================================
> >
> > GIRL: Hide and seek tayo. if u find me, papayag akong makipag-sex
> sayo...
> > BOY: e kung di kita makita?
> > GIRL: nasa likod lng ako ng piano...
> >
> > =============================================
> >
> > GIRL: ang puti naman ng bird mo...
> > BOY: aba syempre ah!!! likas papaya ata gamit ko jan!!!
> > GIRL: ginagamitan mo rin ba ng downy?
> > BOY: baket? bango ba?
> > GIRL: lambot e!!!
> >
> =============================================
> >
> > u wont beliv wat things
> > people do these days...
> > i was sitting nxt
> > 2 dis girl in church
> > & in the middle of the mass
> > she lit a cigaret!
> >
> > na-shock ako!!!!...
> >
> > i almost dropped my redhorse!!!!
>
>
> GANON!?
>