The lieutenant planned to take the sergeant down a few notches publicly. One day as the company lined up for morning inspection, the lieutenant had the sergeant stand in front of his fellow soldier and he proceeded to question him.
“Can you see the sky?” he asked.
“Yes, sir.”
“Can you see the sun—and the parade ground?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Can you see God?”
“No, sir.”
“So that proves there isn’t any.”
Then the sergeant asked if he, in turn, could have equal time and ask the lieutenant a few question.
“By all means,” agreed the officer.
So the sergeant turned to the company of soldiers and asked them, “Do you all see the lieutenant… and his feet… and head… and arms?”
“Yes!” They shouted.
“Do you see his brain?”
“No!”
“So… that proves he doesn’t have any.”
When they heard that, the soldiers all laughed heartily—and even the lieutenant joined in.
Then the noncom turned to his commander and said, “I’m sorry to have embarrassed you, sir.”
“Touche! That was a good answer,” admitted the lieutenant. “I’m sorry for having embarrassed YOU.”
:pray:

There was once a young fellow who found a silver dollar while
walking along a footpath. Ever since that time, he has always kept
his eyes on the ground when he walked. In the course of the next 30
years he has gathered a collection of the following items: $3.95 in
coins, 18,203 buttons, and 34,309 pins.

As a result of being always bent over, he has developed a haunched
back and a miserly disposition. He has lost the beauty and glory of
sunshine, the smile of his friends, the gorgeous color of flowers
and trees, the blueskies and fluffy clouds, and all the things that
make life worthwhile.

Keep your eyes and head up. You may miss a few pennies lying on
the ground, but you will find all the beautiful things that make
living a glorious adventure.

As Isaiah and Jeremiah and the psalmist all say:
"Lift up your eyes to the heights."

The rescal stood in the shadows opposite the elderly lady's store.
He was memorizing her every move. As she locked up, she always
held her moneybag under her left arm. He would zip ny on his bicycle,
grab the bag, speed around the corner, and hide behind the bushes
in the park.

On this particular evening, everything went as planned. There she
was locking the door in the dark. So he hopped onto his bike and
rode with no light on. Just as he was reaching for the moneybag, his
front wheel hit a stone. The handlebar flew out of his grip, he landed
on the cement and was knocked unconscious.

The lady screamed, "What's the matter with you, kid? Are you crazy,
riding at night with no light on your bike?"

When he came to, he heard the lady's voice saying ,
"My God, you're bleeding."

Then she opened her store and pulled him inside. He had a bump
on his head and some skinned knuckles. "We better take you to
the doctor to make sure," she said. Then she handed him the
black bag and said, "Here, you hold this while I lock the door again."

There he was, with all the money in his hand. He could easily
have taken off; but he stayed. The next day, the elderly lady gave
him a job delivering groceries and running small errands for her.
And best of all--she now had a little boy whom she could mother.

The ways leading to friendship are, indeed, strange!

Here is a question:

Can I be a Christian without belonging to a church?

The answer is:

Yes it is possible. It is something like being:
a student who will not go to school...
a soldier who will not join an army...
a citizen who does not pay taxes or vote...
a salesman with no customers...
an explorer with no base camp...
a seaman on a ship without a crew...
a businessman on a deserted island...
an author without readers...
a guitar player without and orchestra...
a parent without a family...
a football player without a team...
a scientist who does not share his findings...
a bird without a nest...

The Church exist for those outside it. Don't stay away from the
Church because it has so many hypocrites. There's always room
for one more.

The Church is not made up of people who are better than the
rest, but of people who want to become better than they are.

Once upong a time, a Mohammedan came to one of his religious
leaders and asked, "If I eat grapes, is that against our religion?"

"No," said the priest.

"And may I add some water?"

"Certainly."

"And is it wrong to take a little yeast?"

"Oh no."

"Well," went on the questioner, "grape wine consists of these three
things. So why is it forbidden by the laws of our religion?"

The priest thought for a moment and then said, "If I throw a
handful of dust on your head, will that cause you pain?"

"No."

"And if I add some water, will it hurt you?"

"I don't think so."

"Now, if I mix dust and water together, burn it into a brick,
and hit you on the head with it, what then?"

nice po...
hmmm...gawa pa po kayo ng dami
ganda basahin..

nice one!! :D