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Chuck Norris uses paper to cut scissors.

Chuck Norris once ate a whole
bucket of sleepng pills and it
managed to make him yawn.

Chuck Norris is the only person
who could truly judge a book by its cover.

Chuck Norris runs Windows Vista, and it has never crashed.

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Chuck Norris is officially on the periodic table.

Chuck Norris only skydived once, because the world only needs one Grand Canyon.

Hearts have Chuck Norris attacks.

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Sticks and stones may break your bones, but a Chuck Norris glare will liquify your kidneys.

The only reason Jason Voorhees keeps coming back is because Chuck Norris hasn't roundhouse kicked him yet.

If you search Chuck Norris on google and click im feeling lucky it says "run while you still have a chance".

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When Chuck Norris looks at the sun, it begins cooling!

Chuck norris doesn't feel fly like a g6, a g6 feels as fly as Chuck Norris.

Someone once asked Chuck Norris if he had the time...and Chuck said "yes and it's mine to keep".

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Chuck Norris Can Power Solar Panels. At Night.

Chuck Norris can't make 3D films. The roundhouse kick in 3D would kill.

When a hypnotist tried to hypnotize Chuck Norris the hypnotist ended up getting hypnotized himself by staring into his beard...

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Chuck Norris is the true cause of Jonathan Brandis's suicide, he couldn't accept the fact Chuck Norris doesn't need a sidekick...

The light at the end of the tunnel is actually Chuck Norris holding a flashlight.

Chuck Norris can obtain unobtainable.

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Chuck Norris will never die, but get bored of us and leave.

Chuck Norris invented math when he started counting.

When Chuck Norris puts milk on Rice Krispies they keep quiet.

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Chuck Norris used to be the God of Death, he thought it was to wimpy and gave it to someone else.

Only Bruce Lee fought Chuck Norris and lived to tell the tale. *silent pause* wait... I was just mistaken...

Chuck Norris can start a lawn mower with -1 tries.

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Chuck Norris graduated from the University of Bad-Ass, with a degree in whoop ass, and a concentration in roundhouse kicks to the face.

After every defeating roundhouse kick, Chuck Norris licks his own elbows in victory.

Chuck Norris can put out fire with gasoline.

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Chuck Norris puts the sandman to sleep.

Chuck Norris is able to count to infinity. Twice.

Chuck Norris can lie honestly.