Need your thoughts ladies and gentlemen...

[motoro]

Hi guys. Hindi na kaya ng powers ko. I need your thoughts on a situation regarding I and my girlfriend.

A little background, our relationship is only 4 months old. Barely a month into the relationship, she was telling me that she'd like to have a baby and live with me next year. She's 27. Since I love her, that's music to my ears. However, barely one month into the relationship, covid-19 hits and we all have a lockdown. I was really worried because I don't think texting and talking on the phone everyday can strengthen a relationship like going out would.

She's working as a STAY-IN cashier in a medium-sized supermarket. Since she and her female workmates are stay-in, they are not allowed to go out during their day off. They live with the owner in one building - they are in 3rd floor while the owner is at 4th floor. You guys might think that the owner is just being cautious, but ironically, ALL the male employees like bagger and etc, are stay out. Social distancing is not being enforced strictly so being cautious my butt. As a guy, I would visit her once to 3x a week in her workplace and I would buy any random things just to be able to see her and talk to her for barely two minutes. I would buy her food and fruits to keep her healthy but usually, she would ask me to buy her this or that food since she's very picky and sometimes asked me to buy her some things. I can only do so much and I believe relationship is a two-way street.

Anyway, we were hoping that we could finally go out during GCQ but sadly they are not allowed to go out during day-off. One time, a male workmate asked her to ask permission to go out with me since I have a car so it's safe. I told her to do that as well but she was humiliated by the boss and the supervisor when she asked for permission. She was pissed as hell that day so she decided that she's going to resign on September instead of next year (because ayaw niyang napapahiya) and we can live together na daw. The boss even got the freaking nerves to say, "nasabi mo na ba sa bf mo na hindi ka pinayagan?". It's a nice development but I didn't celebrate because I'd like to see it first to believe it. She said she's going to tell the boss on June 30.

Today, she told her boss that she's leaving in September. The boss asked if she's resigning because she wasn't allow to go out but she said no. She said "napapagod na talaga ako". Then the boss asked if she's moving in with her bf (me) and she said yes. Sadly, she wasn't allowed to resign and her boss told her that she can leave next year. That's too long especially if I have no assurance that my gf loves me or not. But what really pissed me off is, she just admitted she's wrong and apologized to me. No effort at all. As in nga nga! WTF right?! I told her I'm not after her apologies or whatnot but her effort. What's upsetting is, few days ago I was coaching her on what to say because I felt her boss won't allow her and I even told her if her boss didn't allow her just tell her, "ayaw ko na po talaga. aalis po talaga ako sa katapusan ng September" but she didn't do that. It hurts like hell because no effort on her part. She even told me that she already asked her sister-in-law to tell her(gf) mother that she's resigning at magaasawa na siya this year and not next year. She even had the guts to say, "lahat ginagawa ko para ipakita sayo na mahal na mahal talaga kita". But now, with no effort on her part I don't know what will happen next and what do I really mean to her.

Sad part is, after dinner I still feel very depressed and super down so I was a little cold on my reply. She asked me if I'm still upset so I told her what I'm feeling but, as usual, she got angry and said "yan naman lagi mong sinasabi sa akin eh. pag hindi ako pinapayagan hindi kita mahal o hindi ko pinapakitang mahalaga ka" then she said she's going to sleep na since she don't want to fight about it anymore. I was like, again, WTF! I don't know if it's just her personality but she always pass the blame to me whenever we have a fight. Like this one, I was not upset that she was not allowed to resign because I'm not an unreasonable person, I'm upset because she doesn't want to do anything about it. I even had to remind her that one of her femaie workmate, file for resignation 2 weeks ago, but wasn't allowed to leave as well, but she packed all of her belongings and walk right out of the gate and the boss can't do anything about it. So I told her, if she really wants to there's always a way. It really hurts a lot with all those talks about baby and living together and doing everything to show me how much she loves(kuno) me, in the end, she's not ready to fight for it pala. Since she's ignoring me, yes she does that when she's angry, I texted a bunch of message on how I really feel but still no response.

So what can you guys say about this situation? Am I being wrong here for being disappointed? Is it me or she's not exerting any effort but only "talks"? Thank you for taking the time reading my post. I really appreciate it.

 

[-CHZ-]

Hahahaba! Haha.

Napansin ko lang. Bakit parang napaka-pakialamaero naman nung boss niya?

First ito :

The boss even got the freaking nerves to say, "nasabi mo na ba sa bf mo na hindi ka pinayagan?".

Second ito :

"Then the boss asked if she's moving in with her bf (me) and she said yes".

Now, ano ba ang dahilan bakit hindi niya pa din magawang mag-resign given na ganun ka-kupal (sorry) ang boss niya? Bread winner ba siya? Independent kind of person ba siya na ayaw niyang maging pabigat sayo once na nag-resign siya at nagsama na kayo?

Yung pagiging cautious ng boss niya naiintindihan ko naman yun. Pero yung sa specific na gender lang, ang unfair naman. Tsaka sa case nyo, may sasakyan ka naman, na mas safe naman kung tutuusin.

Sa tanong mo naman kung ano masasabi namin sa situation mo, medyo mahirap pa masagot kasi hindi ko pa din alam kung ano nga ba yung reason(s) kung bakit di niya pa magawang mag-resign. Ano ba yung mga dahilan (kung meron man). Kasi nga yung workmate niya nagawang mag-walk-out eh. Second, I'd feel disappointed din tbh. Lalo na kung katulad mo ako na stable naman ang buhay at kaya siyang buhayin kahit na mag-resign pa siya. Tsaka may plano naman na kayo na magstart ng family by next year di ba? Wala naman sigurong masama kung paagahin na yung plans. Hahaha.

Pa-update na lang ako sir sa mga tanong ko, haha. Para mas maganda yung isasagot ko next time.

 

[motoro]

Hahahaba! Haha.

Napansin ko lang. Bakit parang napaka-pakialamaero naman nung boss niya?

First ito :

The boss even got the freaking nerves to say, "nasabi mo na ba sa bf mo na hindi ka pinayagan?".

Second ito :

"Then the boss asked if she's moving in with her bf (me) and she said yes".

Now, ano ba ang dahilan bakit hindi niya pa din magawang mag-resign given na ganun ka-kupal (sorry) ang boss niya? Bread winner ba siya? Independent kind of person ba siya na ayaw niyang maging pabigat sayo once na nag-resign siya at nagsama na kayo?

Yung pagiging cautious ng boss niya naiintindihan ko naman yun. Pero yung sa specific na gender lang, ang unfair naman. Tsaka sa case nyo, may sasakyan ka naman, na mas safe naman kung tutuusin.

Sa tanong mo naman kung ano masasabi namin sa situation mo, medyo mahirap pa masagot kasi hindi ko pa din alam kung ano nga ba yung reason(s) kung bakit di niya pa magawang mag-resign. Ano ba yung mga dahilan (kung meron man). Kasi nga yung workmate niya nagawang mag-walk-out eh. Second, I'd feel disappointed din tbh. Lalo na kung katulad mo ako na stable naman ang buhay at kaya siyang buhayin kahit na mag-resign pa siya. Tsaka may plano naman na kayo na magstart ng family by next year di ba? Wala naman sigurong masama kung paagahin na yung plans. Hahaha.

Pa-update na lang ako sir sa mga tanong ko, haha. Para mas maganda yung isasagot ko next time.

Thank you for reading my long post. I tried keeping it short without sacrificing details.

Anyway, she’s not the breadwinner because she only send P1500 only if her mom needs it and that is once in few months. Actually, her mom told her not to send money anymore upon learning our prior plan of living together. But this June she decided to send P10k to have the roof of their house fix. However, her mom said that she will just put money in the bank even if she has no bank account. Now, my gf decided not to send money anymore because her elder brother might ask for the money because he occasionally does even if he has work.

On the pabigat side, she did mentioned before “nakakahiya naman sayo kung wala akong ipon” to which I assured her that it doesn’t matter to me kung may ipon siya o wala. Then on another occasion, she would ask “diba ok lang sayo kung wala akong ipon”. I assured her again that it’s perfectly fine to me. So I don’t really understand what’s going on. Sometimes I would wonder if she’s just keeping me because of the benefits that she’s getting.

- - - Updated - - -

UPDATE:

She didn’t greet me this morning. I don’t know what she’s upset about when I’m the one who should be upset because pinaasa lang ako. So I decided to text her thoughts that I forgot to tell her last night. One of the things I told her is “Hindi na ako aasang magsasama pa tayo kasi kung wala kang nagawa ngaun ay wala ka rin magagawa next year sakaling hindi ka payagan ulit. Kung may magagawa ka naman next year ay may magagawa ka rin this year.” Then I challenge her, “kung desidido ka talagang umalis at kung desidido ka at seryoso na magsama tayo ay pwede mong gawan ng paraan at umalis na jan at magsama na tayo dito.”

As usual, her classic move, she turns the table and said “sabihin mo lang kung ayaw mo na sa akin kasi sabi mo ayaw mo na umasa na magsasama pa tayo”. I got upset and told it won’t come from me because I’m still texting her while she’s not. I asked her to think things over because it seems she’s not really serious about everything. I even told her maybe her conscience is bothering her to break up with me because she clearly know how much I love her. But she didn’t reply anymore.

 

[-CHZ-]

Thank you for reading my long post. I tried keeping it short without sacrificing details.

Anyway, she’s not the breadwinner because she only send P1500 only if her mom needs it and that is once in few months. Actually, her mom told her not to send money anymore upon learning our prior plan of living together. But this June she decided to send P10k to have the roof of their house fix. However, her mom said that she will just put money in the bank even if she has no bank account. Now, my gf decided not to send money anymore because her elder brother might ask for the money because he occasionally does even if he has work.

On the pabigat side, she did mentioned before “nakakahiya naman sayo kung wala akong ipon” to which I assured her that it doesn’t matter to me kung may ipon siya o wala. Then on another occasion, she would ask “diba ok lang sayo kung wala akong ipon”. I assured her again that it’s perfectly fine to me. So I don’t really understand what’s going on. Sometimes I would wonder if she’s just keeping me because of the benefits that she’s getting.

- - - Updated - - -

UPDATE:

She didn’t greet me this morning. I don’t know what she’s upset about when I’m the one who should be upset because pinaasa lang ako. So I decided to text her thoughts that I forgot to tell her last night. One of the things I told her is “Hindi na ako aasang magsasama pa tayo kasi kung wala kang nagawa ngaun ay wala ka rin magagawa next year sakaling hindi ka payagan ulit. Kung may magagawa ka naman next year ay may magagawa ka rin this year.” Then I challenge her, “kung desidido ka talagang umalis at kung desidido ka at seryoso na magsama tayo ay pwede mong gawan ng paraan at umalis na jan at magsama na tayo dito.”

As usual, her classic move, she turns the table and said “sabihin mo lang kung ayaw mo na sa akin kasi sabi mo ayaw mo na umasa na magsasama pa tayo”. I got upset and told it won’t come from me because I’m still texting her while she’s not. I asked her to think things over because it seems she’s not really serious about everything. I even told her maybe her conscience is bothering her to break up with me because she clearly know how much I love her. But she didn’t reply anymore.

Kung ako nasa lugar mo, sir, ang challenge na gagawin ko dyan ganito. Since may sasakyan ka, pupuntahan ko yan sa work niya, sa day off niya. Di ko ipapaalam. Tapos kapag nandun na ako, saka ko siya tatawagan. Sasabihin ko sa kanya na mag-impake na siya at sasama na siya sakin. Hahaha.

Seriously speaking tho, mas mabuti na pag-usapan nyo na muna yung reason(s) kung ano ba talaga tumatakbo sa isipan niya at kung bakit ba ayaw niyang mag-resign? Like what's hindering her from doing it. Kasi kahit ako na taga basa lang ng post mo hindi ko din talaga ma-gets kung bakit hindi niya magawa (given na wala naman na siyang pproblemahin kung gagawin niya). Siya at siya lang talaga makakasagot nyan kasi. Saka na siguro mag jump into conclusion(s) sa mga bagay-bagay kapag nasagot niya yang katanungan na yan kung bakit nga ba.

 

[montonbrian]

Baka naman po gusto nya eh yung formal resignation para sa maayos ang kanyang employment cartificate.
Kasi kung awol to terminate ang gagawin nya katulad sa kaworkmate nya eh posible na mahirapan sya
mag apply sa iba dahil may badrecord sya sa prev work nya. Or baka may iba pang reason related sa work.
Pero suportahan mu muna yung gagawin nya na sa tingin nya ay tama. Ngayung month lang na ito muna.
Tutal sa September pa gustu nya umalis sa work. Bale may 1month pa sya para kulitin yun boss para sa resignation nya.
Kung pumayag naman boss nya eh may 15-30days pa sya bago totally makakalis dun. Possible gagawin ng boss nya yun.
Nasa rules kasi yun kasi Hahanap pa ang employer na ipapalit sa kanya kaya bago mag September eh wala na sya duun.

Kung ayaw talaga ng boss nya eh Awol nalang din yung mas madali na magagawa nya.
O kaya pwidi ka humingi ng assist sa dole (thru email). Nangyari din kasi yan sa gf ko nitong feb 2020 lang.
Operada kasi sya at plan mag pahinga ng 1 year kaso ayaw sya payagan ng employer nya na mag resign.
Natanggal lang ang tigas ng employer nya nung pinakita ko yung letter ng provincial director ng dole.

Duon naman po sa part na binabalik nya sa'yu ang sisi pag nag aargue kayo. XD ayaw nya lang ng naiipit o napapahiya.
Totoo po yan at Ikaw po mismo mapapansin mu yaan Sya ata yung tipong ayaw mag patalo eh.

 

[motoro]

Kung ako nasa lugar mo, sir, ang challenge na gagawin ko dyan ganito. Since may sasakyan ka, pupuntahan ko yan sa work niya, sa day off niya. Di ko ipapaalam. Tapos kapag nandun na ako, saka ko siya tatawagan. Sasabihin ko sa kanya na mag-impake na siya at sasama na siya sakin. Hahaha.

Seriously speaking tho, mas mabuti na pag-usapan nyo na muna yung reason(s) kung ano ba talaga tumatakbo sa isipan niya at kung bakit ba ayaw niyang mag-resign? Like what's hindering her from doing it. Kasi kahit ako na taga basa lang ng post mo hindi ko din talaga ma-gets kung bakit hindi niya magawa (given na wala naman na siyang pproblemahin kung gagawin niya). Siya at siya lang talaga makakasagot nyan kasi. Saka na siguro mag jump into conclusion(s) sa mga bagay-bagay kapag nasagot niya yang katanungan na yan kung bakit nga ba.

Naku sir. If she's upset there's no way talking to her. She would either ignore me or would just say good night because she don't want to fight about it anymore. If we would talk about it, it is always thru text like this afternoon. I don't know what else to think and I don't really know what to do. All I know is, since nobody knows me here, I will take my life should this relationship not work out and the thought of it really bring me some comfort.

She's giving me different reason and I think all of are lame. First, after she was not allowed to go out by the owner she said she don't want to resign because the owner might think na nagtatampo siya porket hindi pinayagan. I was like WTF. Tapos after pinahiya siya ng supervisor then she decided to quit. Then, after she informed the boss yesterday that she's resigning, she was not allowed. This afternoon, I told her that I don't think the reason why she didn't insist on resigning is because she changed her mind about living together or perhaps she's not really sure about me yet. I can't believe she passed the blame to me again and said "diba usapan natin next year pa tayo magsasama kaya bakit mo ko pinipilit ngayon?" I was really upset and said it was her idea and she claimed that she had informed her mom too. This time she gave a stupid reason, she said "gusto ko na talaga umalis dito pero nahihiya lang ako sa amo ko". She didn't elaborate why she feels that way even if I asked her about it.

Then she asked if I can wait for her and If I really love her I will wait for her daw. I complained and told her that a relationship is a two way street. I even asked kung pinaasa mo lang ako ngayon, how will I know that we will move in together next year. Ayun binola ako and said, "promise ko hon ikaw talaga gusto ko at ikaw na talaga gusto kong mapangasawa" yeah right! Then she followed it up by saying, "kung maghahanap ka ng iba sabihin mo lang at hahayaan kita at hindi iistobohin pero hindi mo na ako makikita" and "kung hindi mo ko maaantay uuwi nalang ako sa amin at hindi mo na ako makikita". Siya na nga walang effort siya pa ang galit. I told her if she need some time to assess her feelings for me but she didn't take up the offer. Then, we were talking about something and she asked "so lahat nga mga nangyayari sa atin ay kasalanan ko" and I said yes otherwise why would she apologize last night and said mali siya at siya kako yung walang nagawa after hindi pinayagan. Then she's not replying anymore.

- - - Updated - - -

Baka naman po gusto nya eh yung formal resignation para sa maayos ang kanyang employment cartificate.
Kasi kung awol to terminate ang gagawin nya katulad sa kaworkmate nya eh posible na mahirapan sya
mag apply sa iba dahil may badrecord sya sa prev work nya. Or baka may iba pang reason related sa work.
Pero suportahan mu muna yung gagawin nya na sa tingin nya ay tama. Ngayung month lang na ito muna.
Tutal sa September pa gustu nya umalis sa work. Bale may 1month pa sya para kulitin yun boss para sa resignation nya.
Kung pumayag naman boss nya eh may 15-30days pa sya bago totally makakalis dun. Possible gagawin ng boss nya yun.
Nasa rules kasi yun kasi Hahanap pa ang employer na ipapalit sa kanya kaya bago mag September eh wala na sya duun.

Kung ayaw talaga ng boss nya eh Awol nalang din yung mas madali na magagawa nya.
O kaya pwidi ka humingi ng assist sa dole (thru email). Nangyari din kasi yan sa gf ko nitong feb 2020 lang.
Operada kasi sya at plan mag pahinga ng 1 year kaso ayaw sya payagan ng employer nya na mag resign.
Natanggal lang ang tigas ng employer nya nung pinakita ko yung letter ng provincial director ng dole.

Duon naman po sa part na binabalik nya sa'yu ang sisi pag nag aargue kayo. XD ayaw nya lang ng naiipit o napapahiya.
Totoo po yan at Ikaw po mismo mapapansin mu yaan Sya ata yung tipong ayaw mag patalo eh.

It wouldn't have turned to worst had she told me, "hindi ako pinayagan ng punyetang amo ko pero wag kang magalala hon mag awol ako sa katapusan ng September" but that didn't happen. She even told me this afternoon, "gusto ko na talaga umalis dito pero nahihiya lang ako sa amo ko". I asked why but she didn't care to elaborate.

Actually, I called DOLE hotline this afternoon. The lady I talked to recommended that my gf write a letter of resignation and give the employer one month to look for a replacement. According to her, if the employer will intentionally not look for a replacement then my gf can leave na because she have given the employer ample time to look for a replacement. I told her the nice lady that my gf actually gave 3 months notice and the lady was surprised because that is more than enough time already.

Additionally, the nice lady also informed me that the employer should let the lady employees leave the premises during their day-off because according to the law, if it's the day-off of the employee the boss should not control the employees because they have the right to go out or go home to their families or for leisure unless it's ECQ. I told my gf about that for future reference.

I think I'm just one of the unluckiest man on earth. Imagine had there not been a lockdown we would have become closer and she would have been more into me. Thank you for your thoughts sir.

 

[sic_06]

The really core of your arguments is your girlfriend's boss.

Anyone from the company cannot do something about a person if she/he is really decided to resign, it's in DOLE's notes, so I suggest you guys read about it,

Good luck!

 

[emzie03]

I Feel you and hindi mali yung naramdaman mo. Siguro lang sa part nung girl is baka nappressure siya? Minsan kasi we say things na sige gagawin namin yung advice/gusto niyo but deep inside ayaw pala namin or nagdadalawang isip. Baka din kasi ayaw niya yung feeling ng walang work, sa panahon pa naman ngayon mahirap maghanap ng trabaho. Give her space muna or time to think. Maybe marerealize niya din kung ano ba talagang gusto niya. If hindi ka na kausapin ng matagal pa, baka may ibang reason na.

 

[Riyae08]

Dude, as someone with a tiny bit of business law knowledge
(part ng profession)

I'd say na bawal yung ginagawa ng boss nya.

As far as I know, May batas tayo na sinasabi na
"No person shall be forced to work against his own will"(slavery)

But to give companies a leeway para di naman basta basta aalis ang mga tao to the detriment ng company
nagkaroon ng 30-day rule, whereby you can give your employer a notice of 30-days in advance of your resignation

Read: NOTICE

No, hindi mo hinihingi ang approval nila magresign.
Ikaw ay nagpapaalam na aalis ka na by this date.
so they should let you settle things by then.

Gawin nya in writing ang resignation nya.
isend nya sa email ng lahat ng supervisor at manager nya at mga kasamahan nya.
which is known na ginagamit na pang reply.

Pwede rin sa FB - save screenshots.

At magresign na sya by given date.

If habulin sya ng employer nya.
Habulin niyo ang employer nya via DOLE.
(actually wala talaga sya laban sa dole if nasunod mo ang procedure)


Read labor code for references. nasa internet lang yun

She just have to let them know na magreresign na sya.
Wala sa boss nya ang karapatan na Ihold back sya basta basta.

If gusto sya pagstayin ng boss nya. Mag offer sya ng magandang dahilan bakit
sumulat sya. mag offer sya. MAKIPAG NEGOTIATE SYA.

otherwise, irereklamo niyo sya sa Dole kamo.

Kung nakapag paalam na sya at may ebidensya sya. thru text, Fb, or any other method.
pwedeng pwede na sya umalis anytime basta lampas 30 days na.

Actually, dahil covid, wala pilitan talaga magtrabaho

Nakasulat din na pwede ka magrefuse to work
kapag may imminent danger or damage on your part.
without sacrificing your work

Ngayon kung di sya regular employee.

She can go anytime with just a shorter notice

----------------

Moving forward sa topic.

baka pakiramdam kasi ng GF mo naiipit sya sa sitwasyon kaya tulad mo stressed out sya
syempre iniiwasan nya rin mabadtrip ng tuluyan boss niya dahil nakataya ang trabaho nya.

Pero kung siguro malalaman ng GF mo na there's a way.
Legal and right way without any damage on her part.

Baka lumakas na ang loob niya.

That is of course, kung survivable naman na isacrifice nya ang employment nya at source of income nya.

----------------

May mga tao talaga na ganyan umasta.
Akala nila nabili na nila ang tao porke pinapasahod nila.

All the more reason na ipakita sa kanila na pareho lang kayong tao
at under our constitution, pareho kayong may karapatan.

Ang karapatan ng tao na wag magtrabaho against sa kagustuhan nya
at ang security ng employer na di sya basta aalisan ng mga tao.

at kapag may nilabag ang both parties, may karampatan na consequences.

-------------------------

P.S. nakaenumerate sa labor code ang haba ng mga pwedeng dahilan
kung ano anong situation kung saan pwede magresign ang tao
without 30day notice din.

I think the risk of hazard also comes with it

if ayaw naman paalisin sa staffhouse without proper reason.
Illegal detention naman kaso ng Boss nya

 

[ZekeDempsey]

I did read your thread, comments and update sir motoro. I always see your comment on others thread and you give a good advice to them. I think this time makabawi naman kami sayo. Been a week since you post this thread I cant assure if I can do help you right now but I'll give my thoughts about what your facing.

Don muna sa part na di sya makaalis sa work nya, since un naman ung ugat ng problema. I think there's a more deep reason/s why she can't ditch her work/boss. But sad to say she keep it to herself, Kasi kung talgang gusto ka nyang makasama given na kaya mo naman syang buhayin kahit na wala syang ipon, iiwan nya yung trabaho nya but I think there's a reason why she can't leave.

Sa ugali ng GF mo na bigla nalang sya di nag rereply I think some of girls are like that, Yung Gf ko kasi ayaw din nya na sya yung mali pag pinaintindi ko ung pag kakamali nya at bigla nalang nag iiba ng usapan or pinipilit nya na tama padin sya. Hirap lang sa Gf mo sir ayaw nya ayusin ung problema nyo, isang chat/text mo lang na di magustuhan ng mga mata nya di kana nya rereplyan.

I think theres nothing wrong when you challenge her to leave her work, But I think she misunderstood. Pero nung sinabi nyang "diba usapan natin next year pa tayo magsasama kaya bakit mo ko pinipilit ngayon?" WTF, e diba sya na nga nagsabi na gusto na nya this year. Tingin ko tama ung ginawa mo na ipressure sya sa challenge mo para malaman mo din ung talgang desisyon nya right now. Because what if next year mas mabigat pa na pagsubok ung pagdaanan nyo diba? I really feel you bro, how much you love her. Feeling ko kasi nagdadahilan na lang sya sayo, sayo na din nang galing na "Sometimes I would wonder if she’s just keeping me because of the benefits that she’s getting."

Hope your doing good bro motoro.

 

[motoro]

I Feel you and hindi mali yung naramdaman mo. Siguro lang sa part nung girl is baka nappressure siya? Minsan kasi we say things na sige gagawin namin yung advice/gusto niyo but deep inside ayaw pala namin or nagdadalawang isip. Baka din kasi ayaw niya yung feeling ng walang work, sa panahon pa naman ngayon mahirap maghanap ng trabaho. Give her space muna or time to think. Maybe marerealize niya din kung ano ba talagang gusto niya. If hindi ka na kausapin ng matagal pa, baka may ibang reason na.

Thank you Mam. There's a possibility of being pressured though it was her own decision and I'm just waiting on the sidelines. During the fight, nagpaparamdam naman siya though he lets me know that she's still upset because there are no "hon" in her text messages. We are ok now and she told if she can't find a way to leave this year then she would do so. What's bothering me is, she seems to anal with "payagan" so I had to constantly remind her to assume once and for all na hindi siya papayagan ever so if she really wanted to leave then she has to do something on her own. So it will be an agonizing and depressing wait.

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Dude, as someone with a tiny bit of business law knowledge
(part ng profession)

I'd say na bawal yung ginagawa ng boss nya.

As far as I know, May batas tayo na sinasabi na
"No person shall be forced to work against his own will"(slavery)

But to give companies a leeway para di naman basta basta aalis ang mga tao to the detriment ng company
nagkaroon ng 30-day rule, whereby you can give your employer a notice of 30-days in advance of your resignation

Read: NOTICE

No, hindi mo hinihingi ang approval nila magresign.
Ikaw ay nagpapaalam na aalis ka na by this date.
so they should let you settle things by then.

Gawin nya in writing ang resignation nya.
isend nya sa email ng lahat ng supervisor at manager nya at mga kasamahan nya.
which is known na ginagamit na pang reply.

Pwede rin sa FB - save screenshots.

At magresign na sya by given date.

If habulin sya ng employer nya.
Habulin niyo ang employer nya via DOLE.
(actually wala talaga sya laban sa dole if nasunod mo ang procedure)


Read labor code for references. nasa internet lang yun

She just have to let them know na magreresign na sya.
Wala sa boss nya ang karapatan na Ihold back sya basta basta.

If gusto sya pagstayin ng boss nya. Mag offer sya ng magandang dahilan bakit
sumulat sya. mag offer sya. MAKIPAG NEGOTIATE SYA.

otherwise, irereklamo niyo sya sa Dole kamo.

Kung nakapag paalam na sya at may ebidensya sya. thru text, Fb, or any other method.
pwedeng pwede na sya umalis anytime basta lampas 30 days na.

Actually, dahil covid, wala pilitan talaga magtrabaho

Nakasulat din na pwede ka magrefuse to work
kapag may imminent danger or damage on your part.
without sacrificing your work

Ngayon kung di sya regular employee.

She can go anytime with just a shorter notice

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Moving forward sa topic.

baka pakiramdam kasi ng GF mo naiipit sya sa sitwasyon kaya tulad mo stressed out sya
syempre iniiwasan nya rin mabadtrip ng tuluyan boss niya dahil nakataya ang trabaho nya.

Pero kung siguro malalaman ng GF mo na there's a way.
Legal and right way without any damage on her part.

Baka lumakas na ang loob niya.

That is of course, kung survivable naman na isacrifice nya ang employment nya at source of income nya.

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May mga tao talaga na ganyan umasta.
Akala nila nabili na nila ang tao porke pinapasahod nila.

All the more reason na ipakita sa kanila na pareho lang kayong tao
at under our constitution, pareho kayong may karapatan.

Ang karapatan ng tao na wag magtrabaho against sa kagustuhan nya
at ang security ng employer na di sya basta aalisan ng mga tao.

at kapag may nilabag ang both parties, may karampatan na consequences.

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P.S. nakaenumerate sa labor code ang haba ng mga pwedeng dahilan
kung ano anong situation kung saan pwede magresign ang tao
without 30day notice din.

I think the risk of hazard also comes with it

if ayaw naman paalisin sa staffhouse without proper reason.
Illegal detention naman kaso ng Boss nya

Thank you for your thoughts sir Riyae08. Actually, I called the DOLE hotline and the nice lady on the line told me that an employer should not control what his/her employee will do during their day-off. Secondly, she also told me that it's better to write a letter of resignation one month in advance and if the employer can't or won't find a replacement then the employer shouldn't hold it against the resigning employee. But I forgot to ask, what happens when the employer refused to receive the letter of resignation. Do you have any idea? In my gf's case, she and her colleagues report directly to the owner of the business and not the supervisor.

I already told my gf about my conversation with DOLE and I even tell it to her bff who is also planning to leave but "kaya lang wala pang kapalit". It seems all of them were brainwashed into thinking that it's their goddamn responsibility to find a replacement. Even my gf is still mentioning the words "kung payagan" and I had to control my temper and emotions and I have constantly asked her to already assume once and for all that "hindi kayo papayagan ever!" so if you want to leave then you need to do something about it. I don't understand why she's so anal with "payagan".

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I did read your thread, comments and update sir motoro. I always see your comment on others thread and you give a good advice to them. I think this time makabawi naman kami sayo. Been a week since you post this thread I cant assure if I can do help you right now but I'll give my thoughts about what your facing.

Don muna sa part na di sya makaalis sa work nya, since un naman ung ugat ng problema. I think there's a more deep reason/s why she can't ditch her work/boss. But sad to say she keep it to herself, Kasi kung talgang gusto ka nyang makasama given na kaya mo naman syang buhayin kahit na wala syang ipon, iiwan nya yung trabaho nya but I think there's a reason why she can't leave.

Sa ugali ng GF mo na bigla nalang sya di nag rereply I think some of girls are like that, Yung Gf ko kasi ayaw din nya na sya yung mali pag pinaintindi ko ung pag kakamali nya at bigla nalang nag iiba ng usapan or pinipilit nya na tama padin sya. Hirap lang sa Gf mo sir ayaw nya ayusin ung problema nyo, isang chat/text mo lang na di magustuhan ng mga mata nya di kana nya rereplyan.

I think theres nothing wrong when you challenge her to leave her work, But I think she misunderstood. Pero nung sinabi nyang "diba usapan natin next year pa tayo magsasama kaya bakit mo ko pinipilit ngayon?" WTF, e diba sya na nga nagsabi na gusto na nya this year. Tingin ko tama ung ginawa mo na ipressure sya sa challenge mo para malaman mo din ung talgang desisyon nya right now. Because what if next year mas mabigat pa na pagsubok ung pagdaanan nyo diba? I really feel you bro, how much you love her. Feeling ko kasi nagdadahilan na lang sya sayo, sayo na din nang galing na "Sometimes I would wonder if she’s just keeping me because of the benefits that she’s getting."

Hope your doing good bro motoro.

Thank you for your thoughts and the kind words sir ZekeDempsey. I always try to give useful advice but I'm not asking for anything in return kaya lang hindi na talaga kaya ng powers ko.

She did give me some reasons but for me, those are lame reasons. First, after getting humiliated by the supervisor, she decided to resign BUT along the way, she would tell me, "baka isipin ng amo ko nagtatampo ako kasi hindi ako pinayagan lumabas kaya magreresign ako." WTF right? So I asked ano ngayon kung iisipin niya yun. She said wala lang. Then after she formally told her boss that's she's resigning in September but was turned down and after we had a fight about it, she gave me another lame reason. She said, "gusto ko na talaga umalis dito pero nahihiya ako sa amo ko". Good thing we were not together otherwise she would have seen me punching the walls here. I asked why would she feel ashamed if their boss are not treating them well but I wasn't able to get a straight answer.

The reason I'm having a hard time moving on from that incident was due to her text, "hon lahat ginagawa ko na. magreresign na ako para makasama ka at nagpaalam na ako sa amin para ipakita sayo na mahal na mahal talaga kita". I can still remember every single word but talk is cheap and I trust action. How can she say those sweet words but wasn't able to do something after being turned down by the owner. It just makes no sense at all and why would she put so much value to "payagan" like it's the holy grail. I was expecting her to be pissed as hell as me after being turned down especially if she's looking forward to be with me and she would actually do something right then and there.

After our fight, I couldn't believe that she's still using the word "payagan" and I have to control my temper otherwise it might start another fight because she has bad temper too sometimes. I had to really convince her to stop thinking about "payagan" and just assume once and for all that "they won't ever be allowed to leave...ever". That way, she can start thinking of ways to get out IF SHE REALLY WANTS TO. I can't believe that she her and her bff at work have the same thought that there should be a replacement before they could leave so I had to talk to the bff this afternoon and reminded my gf that it's not their job to look for one. I told them to submit a resignation letter if they really wanted to leave.

For now, she told me that she will try to leave this year but she don't want to make a promise. If she's not able to leave this year, then may usapan na kami that if they are not allowed to go out during the New Year which they normal can then she will pack all her things and leave. But if they are allowed to leave on New Year's day like before then she won't be returning to work anymore. So it is an agonizing and a depressing wait.

 

[sic_06]

I found this

View attachment 382342


Hope this will help

 

[Riyae08]

Just stick to the protocol. Let it be known na magreresign na.
By her colleagues. Superiors etc. Which is pretty much everyone.

If her boss refuses to accept it. Just wait for the 30 days. Then go.
If she had already done that.

She can safely go without legal repercussions.

Its up to her if she do want to go badly.

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Labas na sa obligation nya ang maghanap ng kapalit.

May HR for that. And obligation ng company yun.
Not really a good reason to hold someone back.

Employees will be stuck if mag aantay lahat parati ng kapalit.

Yan ang silbi ng 30 days.

Of course che can stay longer for some reason.
But if not. 30 days is the most.