Essay a letter for you

twice, I never get a chance to say goodbye. twice, I left without any words to you. I am sorry. I'm really really sorry. maybe because I'm too afraid that you might give up and leave. and so I left first, without knowing that you'll be vulnerable without me. while leaving, I put all my faith in your love for me..but my absence made you weak.I was never ready for the consequences.. most especially for the pain.. but I can't be weak, I have to be strong. and just when I'm doing fine, there you are again.. and though things were complicated already, we can't help but love each other again.. maybe because love is there all the time.. despite the years that passed, and the situation that we're in. sadly, love is only enough in the world of romance..but in the real world, it will never be. someone has to leave, and for the second time I left you again without saying. sorry, I did not wait.. sorry I decided on my own.. in my heart you know I always love you and in mine I know you do love me too. maybe, just maybe, the third time will be finally the right time for us. but I'm not hoping for it anymore, it might just be too much to ask. God lend you to me twice, He gave me two chances of having you for life.. I slipped those chances.. today is one of those times when I feel so down and sad because of you. it's rare though, but it strucks right through my heart. just when I feel that I so love you, that's when I also feel that it's so painful. living without you..when we could have been living together all along... I've been loving you for more than 19yrs., will it ever be gone? or fade? iloveu iloveu iloveu...