(need advice) MALING DECISSION SA LOVE??

[chota125]

Hello mga ka symb, gumawa nalang ako nang thread dito kasi nag hanap ako sa google ng kasagutan pero wala ako makita about sa situation ko ngayon.

Eto po storya ng buhay pag ibig ko, okay lang kung pagtyagaan nyo basahin toh or hindi, atleast nakapag express ako ng feelings, okay eto kasi yun,

Sa ngayon may girlfriend ako at matagal na kami mga 5 years na kami, at sa tinatagal na mag syota, halos wala akong nagawang kalokohan at naging honest ako sa kanya, mag kaklase kami ng college nag on kami 2ndyear college kami at hanggang ngayon, halos sa lahat ng panahon sa 3 years mahigit lagi kami magkasama sa school hanggang sa pag internship namin, hanggang gumraduate at pumasa ng board exam. ,hanggang sa nagkasabay kami magtrabaho sa sariling business nila, kilala na rin ako halos ng pamilya nya. Ng dumating na kami sa point na kailangan kung bumalik sa probinsya namin at mag kalayo kami kasi kailangan ako ng family ko, so nag decide ako na sa probinsya na namin mag trabaho. Nasa hospital pala ako nag tatrabho sa kasalukuyan ngayon. , yung girlfriend ko dati kinukulit ko na mag change na ng religion para kami ay di na mahirapan pag mag decide kami magpakasal simula pa nung 1 yr pa kami, hanggang umabot kami ng 5 yrs. eh, di pa rin sya na convert, kasi natatakot sya sa family nya. so hinahayaan ko nalang sya hanggang kelan nya gusto, pero habang natatagalan parang nawawalan ako ng gana minsan. ewan ko dahil ba toh sa distance namin? or dahil parang walang future kami dahil yun nga about religion, nga pala iba religion namin, sa religion ko msyado strict when it comes to mapapangasawa mo, dapat same religion. hanggang sa dumating tong tym na may nakilala ako na resident doctor, one tym nag kausap kami ng medjo matagal, nag ka chatt at nag txt, hanggang sa nag decide kami magkita at kumain at mag usap, tapos sa tingin ko kasi intresado din yung dr. sa akin at ako naman nagugustuhan ko kasi ugali nya at parang may common interest kami sa isat isa. ., hai naku kung dalawa lang puso noh. ., naiinis lang ako sa sarili ko kasi kahit anung iwas ko sa dr. kahit iniiwasan ko sya nagkikita parin kami kasi same kami ng hospital na pinagtatrabahoan. eh minsan kahit di kona tintxt eh nag ttxt sya at nagtatanung. ., about sa mga psyente kahit di naman kailangan para lang maktxt. ., oo kung tatanungin nyo ako, mahal ko paba girlfriend ko yung nasa malayo?, yung 5 years oo mahal ko. kaso yun nga parang ewan ko dahil siguro eto sa distance, eh kung etong dr. naman interesting din kasi sya. ., parang gusto ko rin sya. ang masaklap pa yung gf ko gusto na mag settle down kami dalawa kaso ako hesitant pa, parang di pa ako handa, parang may gusto pa ako gwain sa buhay ko, kasi ako dapat pag mag asawa na ako dapat sure ako na di ako gagawa ng kalokohan sa magiging partner ko kaya sinisiguro ko. ., pa adcice naman guys. anu ba talaga susundin ang sinasabi ng puso or, yung time? alin ba mas mabigat oras na magkasama kayo or yung gusto ng puso mo?? hirap pala talaga, kahit sinabi ko sa sarili ko dati, di talaga mag e entertain ng kahit sino2x jan, pero di talaga maiwasan. .,


Guys salamat talaga sa mga advice nyo. ., sige lang ill just make a really big deccission with this situation, ill just update you guys. . , God bless all.

 

[motoro]

First of all, you should never ever consider the duration of your relationship whether it's only a year, 5 years or 15 years. What's inside your heart counts. It wouldn't be fair for you or your partner to force yourselves to stay together just because you've come so far already even if both of you are not that into each other anymore.

Next, since you haven't really done anything wrong yet like cheating then take this as an opportunity to assess your relationship and your feelings before your commit a mistake you can never fix. Be sure to be honest with yourself like could it really be the distance or could it be the new person that you met. Being honest with yourself can help you work on the problem. Is it only after you met the new person that you began to think that you need to be really sure before you get married or has that been your condition ever since. Because, at one point in your post you said that on your first year in the relationship you were already asking your girlfriend to switch religion so as not to have problems when you both decide to get married but now you're saying that you need to be sure that it's your GF you'd want to marry.

Then comes religion. There's a possibility that your gf doesn't want to switch teams and is just using her family as an excuse to avoid argument. Because I think if she really wants to then her family would support her. But you need to respect her wish and choice. I don't think it's fair and wise to ask someone to switch religion just because of love unless that person is willing to. There's no harm in trying to convince your gf to switch but if she doesn't want to then you should respect it. I don't think you'd switch your religion if she asked you to, would you? It doesn't mean just because she's the girl she needs to switch instead of you. So what happens when she doesn't want to switch religion? That can only be answered by you and her.

So better start assessing what you really want right now. If you sincerely prefer the doctor then that's your right but you need to break off with your gf. But if you still sincerely love your gf then you stop thinking about the doctor and just treat her text messages as work related. In short, you will not text her again but if she texted you instead then you just reply to be polite especially if it's work related but keep it short and simple. If you shall choose your gf then better get the religion thing settled once and for all because it wouldn't be wise prolonging the relationship if you will need to break up later because of religion. It will just be a waste of time.

 

[empoypogz]

Tama yung first comment exact na exact.
parang think before you click lang yan sir.
i vice versa mo na lang yung situation niyo paano if ikaw yung babae diba ? tapos siya naman yung lalake.

 

[ifer]

Hello mga ka symb, gumawa nalang ako nang thread dito kasi nag hanap ako sa google ng kasagutan pero wala ako makita about sa situation ko ngayon.

Eto po storya ng buhay pag ibig ko, okay lang kung pagtyagaan nyo basahin toh or hindi, atleast nakapag express ako ng feelings, okay eto kasi yun,

Sa ngayon may girlfriend ako at matagal na kami mga 5 years na kami, at sa tinatagal na mag syota, halos wala akong nagawang kalokohan at naging honest ako sa kanya, mag kaklase kami ng college nag on kami 2ndyear college kami at hanggang ngayon, halos sa lahat ng panahon sa 3 years mahigit lagi kami magkasama sa school hanggang sa pag internship namin, hanggang gumraduate at pumasa ng board exam. ,hanggang sa nagkasabay kami magtrabaho sa sariling business nila, kilala na rin ako halos ng pamilya nya. Ng dumating na kami sa point na kailangan kung bumalik sa probinsya namin at mag kalayo kami kasi kailangan ako ng family ko, so nag decide ako na sa probinsya na namin mag trabaho. Nasa hospital pala ako nag tatrabho sa kasalukuyan ngayon. , yung girlfriend ko dati kinukulit ko na mag change na ng religion para kami ay di na mahirapan pag mag decide kami magpakasal simula pa nung 1 yr pa kami, hanggang umabot kami ng 5 yrs. eh, di pa rin sya na convert, kasi natatakot sya sa family nya. so hinahayaan ko nalang sya hanggang kelan nya gusto, pero habang natatagalan parang nawawalan ako ng gana minsan. ewan ko dahil ba toh sa distance namin? or dahil parang walang future kami dahil yun nga about religion, nga pala iba religion namin, sa religion ko msyado strict when it comes to mapapangasawa mo, dapat same religion. hanggang sa dumating tong tym na may nakilala ako na resident doctor, one tym nag kausap kami ng medjo matagal, nag ka chatt at nag txt, hanggang sa nag decide kami magkita at kumain at mag usap, tapos sa tingin ko kasi intresado din yung dr. sa akin at ako naman nagugustuhan ko kasi ugali nya at parang may common interest kami sa isat isa. ., hai naku kung dalawa lang puso noh. ., naiinis lang ako sa sarili ko kasi kahit anung iwas ko sa dr. kahit iniiwasan ko sya nagkikita parin kami kasi same kami ng hospital na pinagtatrabahoan. eh minsan kahit di kona tintxt eh nag ttxt sya at nagtatanung. ., about sa mga psyente kahit di naman kailangan para lang maktxt. ., oo kung tatanungin nyo ako, mahal ko paba girlfriend ko yung nasa malayo?, yung 5 years oo mahal ko. kaso yun nga parang ewan ko dahil siguro eto sa distance, eh kung etong dr. naman interesting din kasi sya. ., parang gusto ko rin sya. ang masaklap pa yung gf ko gusto na mag settle down kami dalawa kaso ako hesitant pa, parang di pa ako handa, parang may gusto pa ako gwain sa buhay ko, kasi ako dapat pag mag asawa na ako dapat sure ako na di ako gagawa ng kalokohan sa magiging partner ko kaya sinisiguro ko. ., pa adcice naman guys. anu ba talaga susundin ang sinasabi ng puso or, yung time? alin ba mas mabigat oras na magkasama kayo or yung gusto ng puso mo?? hirap pala talaga, kahit sinabi ko sa sarili ko dati, di talaga mag e entertain ng kahit sino2x jan, pero di talaga maiwasan. .,

Akala ko talaga nung una, religion ang issue..sabi nga kaya nanlalamig kasi may pinag iinitang iba..totoo talaga yan
Point 1: let it go and dont waste another year tutal niloko mo narin naman na gf mo
Point 2: spare us by making excuses to make your gf look masama
Point 3: make sure you clear your conscience at night by avoiding cheating.how?break up with your gf at wag mo na siyang lokohin pa

 

[-CHZ-]

Hello mga ka symb, gumawa nalang ako nang thread dito kasi nag hanap ako sa google ng kasagutan pero wala ako makita about sa situation ko ngayon.

Eto po storya ng buhay pag ibig ko, okay lang kung pagtyagaan nyo basahin toh or hindi, atleast nakapag express ako ng feelings, okay eto kasi yun,

Sa ngayon may girlfriend ako at matagal na kami mga 5 years na kami, at sa tinatagal na mag syota, halos wala akong nagawang kalokohan at naging honest ako sa kanya, mag kaklase kami ng college nag on kami 2ndyear college kami at hanggang ngayon, halos sa lahat ng panahon sa 3 years mahigit lagi kami magkasama sa school hanggang sa pag internship namin, hanggang gumraduate at pumasa ng board exam. ,hanggang sa nagkasabay kami magtrabaho sa sariling business nila, kilala na rin ako halos ng pamilya nya. Ng dumating na kami sa point na kailangan kung bumalik sa probinsya namin at mag kalayo kami kasi kailangan ako ng family ko, so nag decide ako na sa probinsya na namin mag trabaho. Nasa hospital pala ako nag tatrabho sa kasalukuyan ngayon. , yung girlfriend ko dati kinukulit ko na mag change na ng religion para kami ay di na mahirapan pag mag decide kami magpakasal simula pa nung 1 yr pa kami, hanggang umabot kami ng 5 yrs. eh, di pa rin sya na convert, kasi natatakot sya sa family nya. so hinahayaan ko nalang sya hanggang kelan nya gusto, pero habang natatagalan parang nawawalan ako ng gana minsan. ewan ko dahil ba toh sa distance namin? or dahil parang walang future kami dahil yun nga about religion, nga pala iba religion namin, sa religion ko msyado strict when it comes to mapapangasawa mo, dapat same religion. hanggang sa dumating tong tym na may nakilala ako na resident doctor, one tym nag kausap kami ng medjo matagal, nag ka chatt at nag txt, hanggang sa nag decide kami magkita at kumain at mag usap, tapos sa tingin ko kasi intresado din yung dr. sa akin at ako naman nagugustuhan ko kasi ugali nya at parang may common interest kami sa isat isa. ., hai naku kung dalawa lang puso noh. ., naiinis lang ako sa sarili ko kasi kahit anung iwas ko sa dr. kahit iniiwasan ko sya nagkikita parin kami kasi same kami ng hospital na pinagtatrabahoan. eh minsan kahit di kona tintxt eh nag ttxt sya at nagtatanung. ., about sa mga psyente kahit di naman kailangan para lang maktxt. ., oo kung tatanungin nyo ako, mahal ko paba girlfriend ko yung nasa malayo?, yung 5 years oo mahal ko. kaso yun nga parang ewan ko dahil siguro eto sa distance, eh kung etong dr. naman interesting din kasi sya. ., parang gusto ko rin sya. ang masaklap pa yung gf ko gusto na mag settle down kami dalawa kaso ako hesitant pa, parang di pa ako handa, parang may gusto pa ako gwain sa buhay ko, kasi ako dapat pag mag asawa na ako dapat sure ako na di ako gagawa ng kalokohan sa magiging partner ko kaya sinisiguro ko. ., pa adcice naman guys. anu ba talaga susundin ang sinasabi ng puso or, yung time? alin ba mas mabigat oras na magkasama kayo or yung gusto ng puso mo?? hirap pala talaga, kahit sinabi ko sa sarili ko dati, di talaga mag e entertain ng kahit sino2x jan, pero di talaga maiwasan. .,

Madami sana ako gusto sabihin pero wag na lang. Kaya ang advice ko sayo sir, sundin mo na lang kung ano ang nasa puso mo. Pero, makipaghiwalay ka na sa girlfriend mo. Wag mo ng intindihin kung masasaktan sya, kasi nagawa mo na naman eh. Nagawa mo na yung bagay na makakasakit sa kanya. Kaya maging fair ka, palayain mo na sya.

 

[chota125]

oh thank you very much, i really appreciate your advice, now i am thinking better. ., or maybe its just this doctor is so friendly and i am just putting something on the way she treated me. but anyway thanks for your advice.

- - - Updated - - -

First of all, you should never ever consider the duration of your relationship whether it's only a year, 5 years or 15 years. What's inside your heart counts. It wouldn't be fair for you or your partner to force yourselves to stay together just because you've come so far already even if both of you are not that into each other anymore.

Next, since you haven't really done anything wrong yet like cheating then take this as an opportunity to assess your relationship and your feelings before your commit a mistake you can never fix. Be sure to be honest with yourself like could it really be the distance or could it be the new person that you met. Being honest with yourself can help you work on the problem. Is it only after you met the new person that you began to think that you need to be really sure before you get married or has that been your condition ever since. Because, at one point in your post you said that on your first year in the relationship you were already asking your girlfriend to switch religion so as not to have problems when you both decide to get married but now you're saying that you need to be sure that it's your GF you'd want to marry.

Then comes religion. There's a possibility that your gf doesn't want to switch teams and is just using her family as an excuse to avoid argument. Because I think if she really wants to then her family would support her. But you need to respect her wish and choice. I don't think it's fair and wise to ask someone to switch religion just because of love unless that person is willing to. There's no harm in trying to convince your gf to switch but if she doesn't want to then you should respect it. I don't think you'd switch your religion if she asked you to, would you? It doesn't mean just because she's the girl she needs to switch instead of you. So what happens when she doesn't want to switch religion? That can only be answered by you and her.

So better start assessing what you really want right now. If you sincerely prefer the doctor then that's your right but you need to break off with your gf. But if you still sincerely love your gf then you stop thinking about the doctor and just treat her text messages as work related. In short, you will not text her again but if she texted you instead then you just reply to be polite especially if it's work related but keep it short and simple. If you shall choose your gf then better get the religion thing settled once and for all because it wouldn't be wise prolonging the relationship if you will need to break up later because of religion. It will just be a waste of time.

oh thank you very much, i really appreciate your advice, now i am thinking better. ., or maybe its just this doctor is so friendly and i am just putting something on the way she treated me. but anyway thanks for your advice.

- - - Updated - - -

Tama yung first comment exact na exact.
parang think before you click lang yan sir.
i vice versa mo na lang yung situation niyo paano if ikaw yung babae diba ? tapos siya naman yung lalake.

oo napa isip din ako kasi diba sinasabi nila kawawa naman yung girl or vice versa, pero diba?? come on why should i lie to my self, kung di na ako masaya? diba? cause the end of the day, decission is really a big deal. . ,

- - - Updated - - -

Akala ko talaga nung una, religion ang issue..sabi nga kaya nanlalamig kasi may pinag iinitang iba..totoo talaga yan
Point 1: let it go and dont waste another year tutal niloko mo narin naman na gf mo
Point 2: spare us by making excuses to make your gf look masama
Point 3: make sure you clear your conscience at night by avoiding cheating.how?break up with your gf at wag mo na siyang lokohin pa

i respect your opinion sir, point 1 mo really correct, yan din sinasabi ko dati sa sarili ko or kami ng gf ko, dahil nga sa religion. but you know what nung di pa dumating yung doctor na sinasabi ko, eh nawalan na talaga ako ng gana sa gf ko dahil nga yun sa religion things, timing lang dumating etong si doktora, nga pala 2 weeks palang kami nag kakilala. .,

point 2, actually walang masamang ginawa ang gf ko dito. , shes been good to me all this years. ., thats why i have this guilt feelings.

point 3, yahh after i had a dinner date with the doctor, had the guilt feeling, but di ko pinagsisihan yun. . , kasi nga parang ganito yun i am letting myself try to do things that is not normal to a relationship like panu kaya kung ganito or ganyan. ., hai naku. .,