Courtship -- to show off someone who you are not?

[Veslyre]

Hi!

I was just wondering why men need to court women
I have witnessed many men who do not show their "real selves" when courting the women they are interested in.
They change their attitudes, do strange things, try to impress the woman by doing things they don't really like.
This in turn makes the woman expect that you are the person you showed off for the first few dates...since women usually like consistency.
After the woman takes him as a mate, he will most inevitably revert to his former self and that's where women can tend to well, wonder.
Women would wonder "why isn't he doing <this thing I expected him to do based on his courtship>?"
Isn't it better to just show your real selves from the beginning rather than following the nonsense trend of being sweet then throwing all your efforts away because you were pretending to be someone you're not?

What's your opinion on this?
If you do court women, how do you handle it?

 

[Ramonc2]

Ang boys kasi, likas na sa amin ang magpaimpress at magpasikat sa babaeng gusto namin or maybe some of us. We always want to catch her attention. Kasama na dyan ay yung pagbibigay ng flowers, sa iba eh mas pansinin kung expensive ang bulaklak kasi malaki at elegant. pagbibigay ng cakes and sweets. mabait kuno pero sa bandng huli nagbabago kapag sawa na. meron iba naman na simple lang, example na lang ang sarili ko, nung nililigawan ko pa dati si misis, btw she was my first & last gf, lagi ko sya dinedate sa labas tuwing dayoff ko. nuod kami sine. namamasyal sa ibat ibang lugar. yung ugali ko noon mula ngayon ay di pa din nagbabago, kung ano pinakita ko sa kanya dati ay yun parin ang nakikita na hanggang ngayon, nagbago lang siguro ay mas naging open kami since were married to eachother na. ganun lang kami simple lang, pag monthsary bigyan ko sya flowers pero di ganun kamahalan, since di naman sya yung type of girl na maluho and I'm thankful for that.

 

[darklight2121]

di kami nag papaimpress some of us naman kasi that's the way we show our sincere love for the girl we love.
it doesnt mean na nag papaimpress kami at di namin nilalabas ang tunay naming ugali.
siguro naman kung ung babae nililigawan di rin naman niya nilalabas ang tunay na ugali diba?

 

[thenth]

karamihan kasi sa mga manliligaw ngayon ay nagpapakitang tao lang, nadadamay tuloy yung mga taos-puso manligaw hahaha

well, hindi mo naman 100% na makikilala ang isang tao hanggat hindi pa kayo nagsasama sa iisang bubong.

the only thing that is constant is CHANGE




walang forever

 

[Riyae08]

We could take courtship from different perspectives kasi
in my own opinion

for a few, It can come off as a game of deception

showing off how well a guy can be in making a girl like him
using tricks up his sleeve to deceive the girl

to some, It can be a tedious process of pushing one's self over the limit

trying to show off beyond his own capacity to impress the girl
and maybe get the girl to want him the same

to others, it can also be a challenge

finding the girl's weakness and exploiting it to win her over

to me, I simply do it to know the girl a little more
(there are perks in being a direct suitor than trying to be a friend)

commitment is tedious , so I try not to push myself more than I should
if I'm not sure if she's really the girl I wanna be with or be commited to

there are others I can't think of right now.


but the thing is...

that just shows how much one can do to obtain what he wants
though it does not follow that playing deception means you are a real deceiver

some just choose those kinds of means cause they believe it is easier for them
or more fun/challenging to them. whichever they prefer as to how the courtship be.
(we kinda sometimes [or maybe more than a little often] forget that the means to get what we want are important to)

and nowadays,

In my opinion, girls like guys better who can actually has something for show. (cars, abs, money, achievement, etc)

 

[mark14344]

its part of being a human...

 

[Iztrahat216]

The period of courtship supposedly is the time to get to know each other in a more intimate way. In my perspective, if a lady has given her approval for a man to court her. It means that she share the same attraction towards the latter. Therefore, since both share a mutual feeling of infatuation, this stage of an early relationship should be the part where both parties start to dig into their soon to be partner's personality and decide to pursue with sail or abandon the ship.

However, with the current norm of our modern generation wherein a man has to fight his way against his adversaries to attract the attention of the alluring princess. A man has to think and rely on uncharted strategies to conquer this crusade in-order to emerge as the conqueror of this modern day war of hearts. Then after him taking the prize of his voyage, enduring the struggles of his campaign, like what an armored soldier do. One by one, the mighty warrior disassemble his armor and show's his flesh.

And that is the paradox of the war of hearts.

 

[motoro]

Courting has been around for ages and if a guy wants a girl to be his girlfriend then there's no other way but to court the girl. Even if a girl likes a certain guy, he still needs to court her. Since courtship is an essential part of a guy's life then it's also a known fact that they will put their best foot forward. So it's the responsibility of the girl to find out if the guy is sincere or just wants to get in her pants. It's certain that a guy will change a bit as time passes but if it's just minor then that's no big deal. After all, girls need to expect the change already.

 

[ilovecheetos]

For me if i will court a girl, i will simply show her kung ano ba talaga ako. Sobrang hirap magkunwari lalo at hindi mo naman talaga natural na ginagawa yun.
Dun mo din kasi makikita kung ano ang magiging reaction o treatment sayo ng babae hahaha kung hindi nya masakyan o matripan yung totoong ikaw, i guess that's it
hanggang don na lang. Hindi kasi pwedeng ipilit kapag indi talaga compatible eh hahahah. Kaya payo lang sa mga makakabasa nito, pakita nyo lang kung sino kayo talaga sa mga nililigawan nyo. Mas mabuti ng magustuhan kayo ng babae sa totoo nyong ugali kaysa naman magkunwari kayo o pakitang tao lang / pa good shot para makamit nyo lang yung matamis na oo ng babae. Yun lang hahahah

 

[Exodus1003]

Ang babae din nman may Kasalanan, bakit kamo? Kc kpag nanliligaw kaming mga lalake ang mga babae nman ang arte may comment agad sa ugali nman sa binigay nmin kesyo mahal yan o mura lang yan panget o mganda. Kaya nagiging maingat din kmi magpakita ng totoong ugali nmin, kc baka hndi kmi sagutin ng type nmin, kaya kpg ngjjoke kmi kung sn sn nlang nahuhugot mapasaya lang nmin ang babae, kinikilala dn nmin ang babae, kc tinatago din nila ang tunay na sila...