Need a serious for me and my friend before I lost our friendship

[totallylostgirl]

Hi all. I need some serious help regarding the boy I like, Joe and I. Your help may give me a light to save my friendship with my friend. Any advice will be greatly appreciated and welcome.

All names are being altered for the protection of the people involved.

Joe and I has been friends ONLINE for a long time. I developed a feelings for him since then. I was so nice to him and giving him special treatment. I have seen him through webcam and we've been talking through skype. Then, I was working in a IT company with a ridiculous working time schedule and deadlines that I have less time with social except for ONLINE since I'm working in front of my computer. I was a workaholic. I have a big debt on my head.

To make a fast forward, he met this girl named Jane online (we were on the same online community) and he developed feelings for her. According to our online community she's really hot, and as I checked our community forum under "post a picture" section, they were right, she's really a hot girl. I felt jealous because I wasn't gifted with such beauty. I admit, I'm a jealous type of girl. I don't have self esteem not even have a self confidence. Joe said that she's really nice. It came point I asked myself, "I'm nice and friendly but why don't guys like me more than a friend? Is there something wrong with me?" I guess you also heard it from other girls. To move a little forward with my story, Joe and Jane's relationship didn't last. Jane was jealous of me too being Joe's best friend and found out that I also have feelings for my best friend. Jane's true personality color showed. She hurt my friend's feeling. I stood up for my friend at the end of their relationship. I helped my friend to stood up after being tripped over.

After their relationship ended, I also lost my job, that's the time I went downhill depressed and diagnosed with a mental disorder. Instead to continue to pour love and affection to my friend, I changed dramatically. I got insecured, more jealous. I even got jealous with my friend's girl friends. I hurt Joe emotionally. I even got more jealous when he fell in love with other girls (now his ex-es). I didn't get friendship with his ex-es. Joe said that I reminded him of Jane.

For 4 years, Joe has been a great friend though. He helped me through all of my problem.
I didn't even think about what's causing this jealousy. There has never been like this before Jane, and he was also with a relationship with a friend of ours. Maybe I just denied my true feelings or maybe I haven't gotten over with Jane the hot girl, and the bitch. Everything started after Jane. He tolerated my jealousy and all of my flaws. Joe knew this wasn't me and that I could change.

Not until yesterday that again, I hurt him again reminded him again of Jane's bitchy attitude (the thing that he really hates from her). He realised that I still look up at Jane like my idol. I'm hurting him because he chose other girls but not me. I feel resentment and I want to revenge. He said that Jane made my love turned into a toxic, psychotic, and tainted love.

I'm willing to change not only for both of us but also to the people around me. But our friendship is important. I will admit to all of you that I am not ready for a relationship because I have personal problem to fix (like immaturity, my self-confidence, my self-esteem and etc), I can be ready if I fix myself. Friendship is the foundation of a love relationship, and I'm willing to start all over again. I'm still working in an IT company but I have refrained being workaholic and no more debts on the top fo my head. I can live with social life now.

Any advice would be lovely. I'm desperate.

Thank you.

PS. JUST A SMALL INFO.. THIS IS ONLINE FRIENDSHIP. My friend is not a pixelated person. He's also a real person like us. I'm looking for an advice with ONLINE people not just only offline. But any advice IS REALLY WELCOME. THANK YOU.

 

[kimmy10]

Dear ate TS,
Unang-una sa lahat masakit sa mata yang english mo Tapos pangalawa, wag puro chat nakasasama yan sa utak, nakababawas confidence at nakamamatay. Try to find a friend personally. Fix yourself, befriend a person, talk to them, forget about your boy paasa Joe, and get a life. Move on. Thank you.

 

[immabroke]

You are aware that you need to fix yourself and attitude. That's good because you can change and improve yourself more.

Since you already have the time to socialize with people (offline) then go ahead and befriends with your officemates, reconnect wih your old friends (you know, the ones you met during HS and college). Have a life outside the internet.

About Joe well, you can save the friendship but stop being needy and clingy because he can't breathe give him space and let him have other friends aside from you. Don't make him the center of your life. Just let him be for now. Make him miss you. And while you're at it start having real friends the ones you can actually talk to in person and be able to hang out with. It'll do you good. You'll b surprised because you'll know na there's more to life than chatting with stangers online.

You can do it. Goodluck!

 

[parkkeuris]

Hi all. I need some serious help regarding the boy I like, Joe and I. Your help may give me a light to save my friendship with my friend. Any advice will be greatly appreciated and welcome.

All names are being altered for the protection of the people involved.

Joe and I has been friends ONLINE for a long time. I developed a feelings for him since then. I was so nice to him and giving him special treatment. I have seen him through webcam and we've been talking through skype. Then, I was working in a IT company with a ridiculous working time schedule and deadlines that I have less time with social except for ONLINE since I'm working in front of my computer. I was a workaholic. I have a big debt on my head.

To make a fast forward, he met this girl named Jane online (we were on the same online community) and he developed feelings for her. According to our online community she's really hot, and as I checked our community forum under "post a picture" section, they were right, she's really a hot girl. I felt jealous because I wasn't gifted with such beauty. I admit, I'm a jealous type of girl. I don't have self esteem not even have a self confidence. Joe said that she's really nice. It came point I asked myself, "I'm nice and friendly but why don't guys like me more than a friend? Is there something wrong with me?" I guess you also heard it from other girls. To move a little forward with my story, Joe and Jane's relationship didn't last. Jane was jealous of me too being Joe's best friend and found out that I also have feelings for my best friend. Jane's true personality color showed. She hurt my friend's feeling. I stood up for my friend at the end of their relationship. I helped my friend to stood up after being tripped over.

After their relationship ended, I also lost my job, that's the time I went downhill depressed and diagnosed with a mental disorder. Instead to continue to pour love and affection to my friend, I changed dramatically. I got insecured, more jealous. I even got jealous with my friend's girl friends. I hurt Joe emotionally. I even got more jealous when he fell in love with other girls (now his ex-es). I didn't get friendship with his ex-es. Joe said that I reminded him of Jane.

For 4 years, Joe has been a great friend though. He helped me through all of my problem.
I didn't even think about what's causing this jealousy. There has never been like this before Jane, and he was also with a relationship with a friend of ours. Maybe I just denied my true feelings or maybe I haven't gotten over with Jane the hot girl, and the bitch. Everything started after Jane. He tolerated my jealousy and all of my flaws. Joe knew this wasn't me and that I could change.

Not until yesterday that again, I hurt him again reminded him again of Jane's bitchy attitude (the thing that he really hates from her). He realised that I still look up at Jane like my idol. I'm hurting him because he chose other girls but not me. I feel resentment and I want to revenge. He said that Jane made my love turned into a toxic, psychotic, and tainted love.

I'm willing to change not only for both of us but also to the people around me. But our friendship is important. I will admit to all of you that I am not ready for a relationship because I have personal problem to fix (like immaturity, my self-confidence, my self-esteem and etc), I can be ready if I fix myself. Friendship is the foundation of a love relationship, and I'm willing to start all over again. I'm still working in an IT company but I have refrained being workaholic and no more debts on the top fo my head. I can live with social life now.

Any advice would be lovely. I'm desperate.

Thank you.

Here is my question:

Do you try to flirt him?

Nasubukan mo na bang lambingin si Joe?

Did you show the real you in front of him?

Why did you compared yourself to Jane?

 

[januaryanne]

Nosebleed

I personally think that you need to see yourself as a pretty girl and not some rejected pathetic woman who desperately need this Joe's approval to finally know your worth.

Honest advice from me? Cut ties. Online and Joe and start living outside virtual world.

 

[xngqel]

Need a serious advice for me and my friend before I lost our friendship

be a supportive friend
hehehehe

 

[totallylostgirl]

una po sa lahat, maraming salamat sa mga sumagot sa aking post.

pangalawa po, naku pasensya na.. copy and paste ko lang to sa notepad ko.. Nagpopost din ako sa ibang forum.. English forum.

pangatlo, bakit di po ako makapagpost ng reply eh tama naman yung sagot ko sa verification.

Di naman pixelated ang friend kong si Joe. Tao naman din sya katulad natin. Nasa Australia nga lang sya. But yes, I'm willing to fix myself and be friend to the person more.

Do you try to flirt him?

-- No because I don't know how to flirt :O Turuan mo ako? XD

Nasubukan mo na bang lambingin si Joe?

-- Special treatment lang.

Did you show the real you in front of him?

-- mahirap ang tanong mo, before the incident (attitude changing + depression + mental disorder) -- I show the my real me in front of him. I just changed after that Jane left him

Why did you compared yourself to Jane?

-- She was a hot girl. Very pretty, sexy... I'm chubby fatso workaholic

 

[ordnanem24]

ate dapat tingnan mo sarili mong maganda kasi kung ano satingin mo ang itsura mo yun ang tingin ng ibang tao sayu..mag karon ka lang ng self-confident cheer up kaya mo yan

 

[chadz88]

Hindi mo naman kailangan iflirt siya para lang magustuhan ka or magstay xa sayo.. ipakita mo kung sino ka talaga. hindi mo nmn kailangan magpretend just to make him comfortable to be with.. Try not to chat him often para naman mamiss ka niya at maramdaman niya naman na may halaga ka sakanya.
Hindi mo nmn kailangan ipagsiksikan saknya yong sarili mo.. Try to mingle outside web baka mas makilala mo pa mabuti ang sarili mo.. wag mo maxdo ituon ung attention mo sakanya para lang magustuhan ka or kung ano man un.. Malay mo hindi siya si Mr. Right sayo haha...

Maganda ka TS sa labas at loob.. ndi mo kailangan baguhin ang sarili mo para lang magustuhan ka niya.. Db mas maganda mahalin ka kung sino ka at ndi kung ano ka? hehe

GoodLuck TS...

 

[januaryanne]

...

Here I am thinking hindi ka marunong magtagalog.

So Janes hot and youre not? Why let other people define whats hot, sexy and whats not? Hello TS may fats din ako. Tara diet!

You need to see yourself as okay, beautiful kung pwede rather than be insecure na hindi naman dapat.

Siguro you need someone to boost you to accept your flaws and not imitate someone cause you know she's what they say as perfect. Im not saying youre like Jane but in the long run youre becoming just like her na.

Tsaka girl being a friend to someone means they trust you, youre reliable and they dont want to lose you.

Sabi nga ni Pia you need to be confidently beautiful with a Heart!

 

[kimmy10]

Matino na po ako sasagot ate xD
Sa tingin ko insecure ka lang dun sa Jane kaya nagiiba ugali mo. Ganyan din ako sa ex ng jowa ko di maiwasan e xD
Pero gaya ko, kalimutan mo yang taong kinaiinsekyuran mo. Wag mong alalahanin tapos isipin mo past is past. Tapos kaya ka nainsecure kay Jane kasi may gusto ka kay Joe. Hindi ka naman maiinsecure sa iba kung hindi sila importante sayo diba. Mainggit pwede pa pero hindi ka magiging bitchy kung inggit lang. Friend mo LANG si Joe di ba? Treasure him as a friend lang. Syempre siguro special kasi nga ibang lahi pero mas maganda pa rin kasi kung nakakajamming mo ang friend mo ng sa ganun mas malalim ang samahan hindi gaya pag nakilala lang sa internet. Hindi mo naman kailangang iwasan si Joe. Palawakin mo lang mundo mo. Makisalamuha ka sa magpapabuti sayo. Itapon mo negativity mo. Feeling ko hindi mo makakalimutan si Jane kung ituturing mo pa rin na special si Joe. Paasa lang si Joe ate. Wag ka ma-fall. Hindi ka niyan pupulutin.

 

[totallylostgirl]

alam nyo mga guys, nung narinig ko yung sinabi ni Pia sa Ms. Universe, talagang napa wow ako sa kanya pwera biro. I need to build up my self-confidence.

I was 141lbs then.. ngayon 120lbs. Nagpapayat ako hindi dahil sa looks.. may sakit ako. May Diabetes din ako so para sakin din to parang di pa ako kontento. sabi pa nga sakin, wag na raw ako masyadong magpapayat, di daw bagay sakin.

maraming salamat sa mga advises ko. I hope another male will answer on this thread

 

[motoro]

Hi all. I need some serious help regarding the boy I like, Joe and I. Your help may give me a light to save my friendship with my friend. Any advice will be greatly appreciated and welcome.

All names are being altered for the protection of the people involved.

Joe and I has been friends ONLINE for a long time. I developed a feelings for him since then. I was so nice to him and giving him special treatment. I have seen him through webcam and we've been talking through skype. Then, I was working in a IT company with a ridiculous working time schedule and deadlines that I have less time with social except for ONLINE since I'm working in front of my computer. I was a workaholic. I have a big debt on my head.

To make a fast forward, he met this girl named Jane online (we were on the same online community) and he developed feelings for her. According to our online community she's really hot, and as I checked our community forum under "post a picture" section, they were right, she's really a hot girl. I felt jealous because I wasn't gifted with such beauty. I admit, I'm a jealous type of girl. I don't have self esteem not even have a self confidence. Joe said that she's really nice. It came point I asked myself, "I'm nice and friendly but why don't guys like me more than a friend? Is there something wrong with me?" I guess you also heard it from other girls. To move a little forward with my story, Joe and Jane's relationship didn't last. Jane was jealous of me too being Joe's best friend and found out that I also have feelings for my best friend. Jane's true personality color showed. She hurt my friend's feeling. I stood up for my friend at the end of their relationship. I helped my friend to stood up after being tripped over.

After their relationship ended, I also lost my job, that's the time I went downhill depressed and diagnosed with a mental disorder. Instead to continue to pour love and affection to my friend, I changed dramatically. I got insecured, more jealous. I even got jealous with my friend's girl friends. I hurt Joe emotionally. I even got more jealous when he fell in love with other girls (now his ex-es). I didn't get friendship with his ex-es. Joe said that I reminded him of Jane.

For 4 years, Joe has been a great friend though. He helped me through all of my problem.
I didn't even think about what's causing this jealousy. There has never been like this before Jane, and he was also with a relationship with a friend of ours. Maybe I just denied my true feelings or maybe I haven't gotten over with Jane the hot girl, and the bitch. Everything started after Jane. He tolerated my jealousy and all of my flaws. Joe knew this wasn't me and that I could change.

Not until yesterday that again, I hurt him again reminded him again of Jane's bitchy attitude (the thing that he really hates from her). He realised that I still look up at Jane like my idol. I'm hurting him because he chose other girls but not me. I feel resentment and I want to revenge. He said that Jane made my love turned into a toxic, psychotic, and tainted love.

I'm willing to change not only for both of us but also to the people around me. But our friendship is important. I will admit to all of you that I am not ready for a relationship because I have personal problem to fix (like immaturity, my self-confidence, my self-esteem and etc), I can be ready if I fix myself. Friendship is the foundation of a love relationship, and I'm willing to start all over again. I'm still working in an IT company but I have refrained being workaholic and no more debts on the top fo my head. I can live with social life now.

Any advice would be lovely. I'm desperate.

Thank you.

Seriously, you were diagnosed with a mental disorder? Quick, look for jane and stab her to death then you can claim mental disorder and you will get lighter sentence. Just kidding.

Make sure that the mental disorder that you mentioned is not the cause of your behavior right now. Otherwise, any efforts you make to change yourself will be futile. Secondly, when you are good to someone you do it because you care and because you want to be a better person and not asking for anything in return. Because if you do then you get frustrated. Always remember, no expectation equals no frustration and depression. Once you go out of your way to do something so that the person will like you then the chance of getting disappointment is great. You're the living proof. Joe didn't choose you not because you're not attractive or what not. It could that he just sees you as a friend or perhaps he thought that you're just treating him like a good friend. But enough of Jane and Joe now because it's your time now. That is, if you really want to change.

If you really and sincerely want to change your life for the better then it need to start from you. So throw the bad and horrible memories away. If you must stop your communication with Joe then do so. Then you need to take Jane off the picture because, it was Joe who fell for her and not the other way around. Start with a clear mind and focus on your self. It could be just a matter of acceptance rather than think of the reason why it happen. Remember that you don't have any control how other will feel about you or what happens around you. If you like treating people well then do it from the heart and not because you just like someone. You don't need to go out of your way to please everyone because it's a fact that you can't please everyone. Instead, do what you think is right - be good to people who treats you well and ignore those who didn't. You should also stop being a workaholic and spend more time with yourself. If you don't have many friends then spend time pampering yourself and spend time doing things that you like or things that you were not able to do because you're too attached to your work. You need to act on it because things don't just happen by themselves. Good luck.

 

[parkkeuris]

Do you try to flirt him?

-- No because I don't know how to flirt :O Turuan mo ako? XD

Sure. Pero eto ang tanong ko. How do you show your charm to him?

Nasubukan mo na bang lambingin si Joe?

-- Special treatment lang.

Bakit di mo nilambing si Joe?

Did you show the real you in front of him?

-- mahirap ang tanong mo, before the incident (attitude changing + depression + mental disorder) -- I show the my real me in front of him. I just changed after that Jane left him

Kelangan ko itanong sa iyo para malaman mo kung saan kelangang lagyan ng solusyon ang problem.

Eto ang tanong ko: How do you build your good character to him?

Why did you compared yourself to Jane?

-- She was a hot girl. Very pretty, sexy... I'm chubby fatso workaholic

Hmmmm.... Are you saying Jane=You?

 

[xylyn]

hi all. I need some serious help regarding the boy i like, joe and i. Your help may give me a light to save my friendship with my friend. Any advice will be greatly appreciated and welcome.

All names are being altered for the protection of the people involved.

Joe and i has been friends online for a long time. I developed a feelings for him since then. I was so nice to him and giving him special treatment. I have seen him through webcam and we've been talking through skype. Then, i was working in a it company with a ridiculous working time schedule and deadlines that i have less time with social except for online since i'm working in front of my computer. I was a workaholic. I have a big debt on my head.

To make a fast forward, he met this girl named jane online (we were on the same online community) and he developed feelings for her. According to our online community she's really hot, and as i checked our community forum under "post a picture" section, they were right, she's really a hot girl. I felt jealous because i wasn't gifted with such beauty. I admit, i'm a jealous type of girl. I don't have self esteem not even have a self confidence. Joe said that she's really nice. It came point i asked myself, "i'm nice and friendly but why don't guys like me more than a friend? Is there something wrong with me?" i guess you also heard it from other girls. To move a little forward with my story, joe and jane's relationship didn't last. Jane was jealous of me too being joe's best friend and found out that i also have feelings for my best friend. Jane's true personality color showed. She hurt my friend's feeling. I stood up for my friend at the end of their relationship. I helped my friend to stood up after being tripped over.

After their relationship ended, i also lost my job, that's the time i went downhill depressed and diagnosed with a mental disorder. Instead to continue to pour love and affection to my friend, i changed dramatically. I got insecured, more jealous. I even got jealous with my friend's girl friends. I hurt joe emotionally. I even got more jealous when he fell in love with other girls (now his ex-es). I didn't get friendship with his ex-es. Joe said that i reminded him of jane.

For 4 years, joe has been a great friend though. He helped me through all of my problem.
I didn't even think about what's causing this jealousy. There has never been like this before jane, and he was also with a relationship with a friend of ours. Maybe i just denied my true feelings or maybe i haven't gotten over with jane the hot girl, and the bitch. Everything started after jane. He tolerated my jealousy and all of my flaws. Joe knew this wasn't me and that i could change.

Not until yesterday that again, i hurt him again reminded him again of jane's bitchy attitude (the thing that he really hates from her). He realised that i still look up at jane like my idol. I'm hurting him because he chose other girls but not me. I feel resentment and i want to revenge. He said that jane made my love turned into a toxic, psychotic, and tainted love.

I'm willing to change not only for both of us but also to the people around me. But our friendship is important. I will admit to all of you that i am not ready for a relationship because i have personal problem to fix (like immaturity, my self-confidence, my self-esteem and etc), i can be ready if i fix myself. Friendship is the foundation of a love relationship, and i'm willing to start all over again. I'm still working in an it company but i have refrained being workaholic and no more debts on the top fo my head. I can live with social life now.

Any advice would be lovely. I'm desperate.

Thank you.

naku ate libog lang yan,, iligo mo lang mayamaya wala na rin yan!!!!

 

[totallylostgirl]

Una sa lahat, maraming salamat sa lahat na nagpost. Kahit sa ganitong bagay, malaking tulong na to. Maraming salamat. Nakapagusap na kami and working things out. He knows that this isn't me who is right now. Naniniwala sya na maibabalik ko pa kung sino ako.

Sagutin ko lang yung tanong nyo:


Make sure that the mental disorder that you mentioned is not the cause of your behavior right now. Otherwise, any efforts you make to change yourself will be futile.

-- I suffered from Depression and yes it did change the outcome of my attitude and behavior as well as the outlook of my life... not only around him but to all people around me. Depression is a killer. but don't worry, I have my therapy with my Psychiatrist and right now I'm doing self-help.

Do you try to flirt him?
-- No because I don't know how to flirt :O Turuan mo ako? XD
Sure. Pero eto ang tanong ko. How do you show your charm to him?

-- Mahirap pag online syempre pero the truth is, I maybe emotional inside pero... di ako expressive outside :/

Bakit di mo nilambing si Joe?

-- Ni hindi nga ako nagtanong kung may ano ang tingin nya sakin eh.. so yeah I'm not that expressive

Kelangan ko itanong sa iyo para malaman mo kung saan kelangang lagyan ng solusyon ang problem.

Eto ang tanong ko: How do you build your good character to him?

-- I showed who I really am. I am a generous person. Naalala ko pa na pinapakita ko sa kanya yung mga talents ko, how cheerful I am, we do so much things together even nasa online kami. He run to me for advice and I give him advice. I listened to his problems. Ganun naman din sya sakin.

Hmmmm.... Are you saying Jane=You?

-- Hindi naman. Selosa lang ako sa physical nya na wala ako. Jane was intelligent bold and can stand up for herself. I'm more introvert, quiet, but I love going for an adventure with small group of friends. I'm generous.

 

[parkkeuris]

Do you try to flirt him?
-- No because I don't know how to flirt :O Turuan mo ako? XD
Sure. Pero eto ang tanong ko. How do you show your charm to him?

-- Mahirap pag online syempre pero the truth is, I maybe emotional inside pero... di ako expressive outside :/

Bakit di mo nilambing si Joe?

-- Ni hindi nga ako nagtanong kung may ano ang tingin nya sakin eh.. so yeah I'm not that expressive

Bakit di ka expressive na tao? Do you think na kapag di ka expressive ay nakakalost ng attraction mo?

Natatakot ka ba sa rejection?

Eto ang tanong ko: How do you build your good character to him?

-- I showed who I really am. I am a generous person. Naalala ko pa na pinapakita ko sa kanya yung mga talents ko, how cheerful I am, we do so much things together even nasa online kami. He run to me for advice and I give him advice. I listened to his problems. Ganun naman din sya sakin.

Bakit di mo ibalik sa pagiging cheerful mo sa kanya ngayon?

Hmmmm.... Are you saying Jane=You?

-- Hindi naman. Selosa lang ako sa physical nya na wala ako. Jane was intelligent bold and can stand up for herself. I'm more introvert, quiet, but I love going for an adventure with small group of friends. I'm generous.

Do you think na parehas kayo ni Jane sa Journey ng Buhay?

 

[Riyae08]

Hi all. I need some serious help regarding the boy I like, Joe and I. Your help may give me a light to save my friendship with my friend. Any advice will be greatly appreciated and welcome.

All names are being altered for the protection of the people involved.

Joe and I has been friends ONLINE for a long time. I developed a feelings for him since then. I was so nice to him and giving him special treatment. I have seen him through webcam and we've been talking through skype. Then, I was working in a IT company with a ridiculous working time schedule and deadlines that I have less time with social except for ONLINE since I'm working in front of my computer. I was a workaholic. I have a big debt on my head.

To make a fast forward, he met this girl named Jane online (we were on the same online community) and he developed feelings for her. According to our online community she's really hot, and as I checked our community forum under "post a picture" section, they were right, she's really a hot girl. I felt jealous because I wasn't gifted with such beauty. I admit, I'm a jealous type of girl. I don't have self esteem not even have a self confidence. Joe said that she's really nice. It came point I asked myself, "I'm nice and friendly but why don't guys like me more than a friend? Is there something wrong with me?" I guess you also heard it from other girls. To move a little forward with my story, Joe and Jane's relationship didn't last. Jane was jealous of me too being Joe's best friend and found out that I also have feelings for my best friend. Jane's true personality color showed. She hurt my friend's feeling. I stood up for my friend at the end of their relationship. I helped my friend to stood up after being tripped over.

After their relationship ended, I also lost my job, that's the time I went downhill depressed and diagnosed with a mental disorder. Instead to continue to pour love and affection to my friend, I changed dramatically. I got insecured, more jealous. I even got jealous with my friend's girl friends. I hurt Joe emotionally. I even got more jealous when he fell in love with other girls (now his ex-es). I didn't get friendship with his ex-es. Joe said that I reminded him of Jane.

For 4 years, Joe has been a great friend though. He helped me through all of my problem.
I didn't even think about what's causing this jealousy. There has never been like this before Jane, and he was also with a relationship with a friend of ours. Maybe I just denied my true feelings or maybe I haven't gotten over with Jane the hot girl, and the bitch. Everything started after Jane. He tolerated my jealousy and all of my flaws. Joe knew this wasn't me and that I could change.

Not until yesterday that again, I hurt him again reminded him again of Jane's bitchy attitude (the thing that he really hates from her). He realised that I still look up at Jane like my idol. I'm hurting him because he chose other girls but not me. I feel resentment and I want to revenge. He said that Jane made my love turned into a toxic, psychotic, and tainted love.

I'm willing to change not only for both of us but also to the people around me. But our friendship is important. I will admit to all of you that I am not ready for a relationship because I have personal problem to fix (like immaturity, my self-confidence, my self-esteem and etc), I can be ready if I fix myself. Friendship is the foundation of a love relationship, and I'm willing to start all over again. I'm still working in an IT company but I have refrained being workaholic and no more debts on the top fo my head. I can live with social life now.

Any advice would be lovely. I'm desperate.

Thank you.

For someone who admits she has a mental problem,
You are doing good at keeping yourself composed.

what is the diagnosis anyway?
(as this would also help give light as to how your point of view was expressed)

well anyway, I think that might also be too personal a question.

---------------

You explained here and there about your feelings.
but nothing really expresses what you want to do with those.

Clearly you want Joe.
that you want to be with him.. romantically

but then again you are contradicting it with the fact
that you are saying you arent prepared for a relationship with him yet.

Advice on this part,
Being prepared on a relationship isn't a matter of maturity and confidence
it is a matter of how willing you are to reach out for each other.
Be it friendship or a romantic one.

Are you willing to reach out to him?
as well as fix your flaws for him and yourself?

if your answer is yes.

Then any other problem will be easier.

if naiinsecure ka pa rin kay Jane girl.

always remember that despite her being "Nice" and "Hot"
it didnt work out for the two of them.

if you would analyze that analytically (you know what happened)
you'd see where she went wrong, her flaws, everything.

in a nutshell, Work on Yourself.
If you want to be something more than a friend.

only then you'd have better chances at him.

Change your perspective.

If you aren't confident with doing usual approaches
then do some other approaches that are fit for you

Do something about your personal problems.

and Be the best version of yourself.

as you would want somebody to give his best self to you

----------------

Be the kind of person whom you'd also want to be with.

 

[skillet21]

Base sa kwento mo ts alam mo naman na pala kailangan mong gawin e.. dapat di ka na nagpost dito.. hehe joke! pero yun nga, alam mo na ung dapat mong gawin ang kailangan nalang e umpisahan mo yan at panindigan at mas lakihan mo rin tingin mo sa sarili mo walang ibang magboboost ng self-confidence mo kundi sarili mo lang din kung ano ang nakikita mo sa sarili mo kaya kung ang nakikita mo sa sarili mo is hindi maganda, hindi talaga maganda ang kalalabasan nyan but try to see yourself as a great woman na kahit si jane di ka kayang tapatan.. hehe.. actually ang pinakasagot lang talaga sa problema mo eh baguhin mo lang ang attitude mo at way of thinking mo dahil sa kwento mo naman ikaw din ang nagccause ng di nyo pagkakaunawan ni bon JOEvi edi ibig sabihin ikaw lang din ang makakaresolba nyan.

 

[totallylostgirl]

Bakit di ka expressive na tao? Do you think na kapag di ka expressive ay nakakalost ng attraction mo?

Natatakot ka ba sa rejection?

-- Yup.. I have Fear of Rejection

Bakit di mo ibalik sa pagiging cheerful mo sa kanya ngayon?

-- I still suffering from Depression from time to time pero .. working on it naman.

Do you think na parehas kayo ni Jane sa Journey ng Buhay?

-- Nope! Sa pagkakaalam ko .. tambay lang sya sa bahay. Ako professional. May trabaho.

@Riyae08

I am clinically diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder II. Thanks sa advice!


@skillet21 salamat sa payo!