need some serious advice

[BHBH]

need some serious advice..... to make the story short... nainlove ako sa isang brokenhearted na girl. brokenhearted kasi yung bf nya for 5yrs niloko sya, nahuli nya na may naging iba at bukod dun... may anak na ung guy. alam nman ni girl na may anak yung guy pero yun n nga, may anak na nga which is a minus factor, nakuha pang mangloko. anyway, by the time na under sya ng emotional stress, naging close kami ni girl. actually kinukulit ko lang sya nung una, then sya ung nag open up, anu daw ba purpose ng kulitan namin.. so un, eventhough alam ko na yung situation nya, tinuloy ko pa rin. nagconfessed ako na gusto ko sya, hiniwalayan naman nya yung guy that time. hindi naman agad naging kami. may time na nagdecide kami na stop na at baka magkasakitan lang kmi, pero hindi nya din kaya at ako rin naman, nainlove na rin ako talaga, masasabi ko na nainlove na rin sya, khit na infatuated or rebound pa tawag dun. basta ramdam ko. may time kasi na ako na yung nagstop pero wala. lalo lang lumalalim yung pagging close namin. hanggang sa naging kami na talaga. well yun ang alam ko. after a month simula nung naging kami, bumalik yung ex nya, nageffort at d naresist ni girl ( alam ko kasi inamin lahat ni girl sa akin pero late na) dun na nagsimula na magtanong ako, maghinala, sinungaling si girl actually. ayoko na talaga sa kanya kasi pinakaayoko sa lahat yung sinungaling... pero wala ako magawa, mahal ko pa rin si girl. so tuloy pa rin... hanggang nahuli ko na talaga sya, nabasa ko sa mga messages nya na nagkikita pa sila at yun nga, naging sila ulit habang kami din ni girl... then nagdecide ako na magstop na talaga totally, nagstop naman, kaso after 2 days, tinawagan ako ni girl, umiiyak, nagsosorry, hindi nya daw intensyon na lokohin ako, nung una daw iggive up nya ko pero habang tumatagal, hindi nya kayang gawin.. hindi nya ko kayang mawala, yun sabi nya. ako namn naniwala. may gnwa akong measures as a consequence sa pagpayag ko na maging kami ulit.. like burahin lahat ng pics nila, block nya sa cp, lagi kmi magkasama, so nagawa naman nya. nageffort talaga sya. at ayun nga, naging okay na ulit kami, pero after a month, nag away ulit kmi, syempre about ulit sa ex nya, d na kasi maaalis sa akin yung ginawa nya so, everytime na magdududa ako, khit d verbal, ramdam nya yun at un lng ang reason ko. si girl naman pinaglalaban na wala n tlga sila at di sila nagkikita. so nagdecide ulit ako, ayoko na tlga. bumalik lahat ng feelings n nramdaman ko nung nhuli ko sya. so nakipaghiwalay ako. after nun, cguro after a week, delay daw si girl, hindi na nya daw kaya yung gngwa ko na hindi ko sya totally kinakausap so, ayun. nahulog nnman si ako so naging kami nnaman. away bati, hiwalay balikan lang ang nangyayare.. nag let go nlng tlga ako nung nagkaaway kami ng matindi kasi sobra na daw pagdududa ko sa kanya. naging sila ulit nung ex nya, pero... kami pa din madalas magkasama ni girl. alm kong mali, gusto ko ng makawala pero mahal ko sya. so kahit na alam ko na kung anu yung sagot, yung tamang sagot, nandito akoo at humihingi ng advice nyo. salamat.

 

[motoro]

need some serious advice..... to make the story short... nainlove ako sa isang brokenhearted na girl. brokenhearted kasi yung bf nya for 5yrs niloko sya, nahuli nya na may naging iba at bukod dun... may anak na ung guy. alam nman ni girl na may anak yung guy pero yun n nga, may anak na nga which is a minus factor, nakuha pang mangloko. anyway, by the time na under sya ng emotional stress, naging close kami ni girl. actually kinukulit ko lang sya nung una, then sya ung nag open up, anu daw ba purpose ng kulitan namin.. so un, eventhough alam ko na yung situation nya, tinuloy ko pa rin. nagconfessed ako na gusto ko sya, hiniwalayan naman nya yung guy that time. hindi naman agad naging kami. may time na nagdecide kami na stop na at baka magkasakitan lang kmi, pero hindi nya din kaya at ako rin naman, nainlove na rin ako talaga, masasabi ko na nainlove na rin sya, khit na infatuated or rebound pa tawag dun. basta ramdam ko. may time kasi na ako na yung nagstop pero wala. lalo lang lumalalim yung pagging close namin. hanggang sa naging kami na talaga. well yun ang alam ko. after a month simula nung naging kami, bumalik yung ex nya, nageffort at d naresist ni girl ( alam ko kasi inamin lahat ni girl sa akin pero late na) dun na nagsimula na magtanong ako, maghinala, sinungaling si girl actually. ayoko na talaga sa kanya kasi pinakaayoko sa lahat yung sinungaling... pero wala ako magawa, mahal ko pa rin si girl. so tuloy pa rin... hanggang nahuli ko na talaga sya, nabasa ko sa mga messages nya na nagkikita pa sila at yun nga, naging sila ulit habang kami din ni girl... then nagdecide ako na magstop na talaga totally, nagstop naman, kaso after 2 days, tinawagan ako ni girl, umiiyak, nagsosorry, hindi nya daw intensyon na lokohin ako, nung una daw iggive up nya ko pero habang tumatagal, hindi nya kayang gawin.. hindi nya ko kayang mawala, yun sabi nya. ako namn naniwala. may gnwa akong measures as a consequence sa pagpayag ko na maging kami ulit.. like burahin lahat ng pics nila, block nya sa cp, lagi kmi magkasama, so nagawa naman nya. nageffort talaga sya. at ayun nga, naging okay na ulit kami, pero after a month, nag away ulit kmi, syempre about ulit sa ex nya, d na kasi maaalis sa akin yung ginawa nya so, everytime na magdududa ako, khit d verbal, ramdam nya yun at un lng ang reason ko. si girl naman pinaglalaban na wala n tlga sila at di sila nagkikita. so nagdecide ulit ako, ayoko na tlga. bumalik lahat ng feelings n nramdaman ko nung nhuli ko sya. so nakipaghiwalay ako. after nun, cguro after a week, delay daw si girl, hindi na nya daw kaya yung gngwa ko na hindi ko sya totally kinakausap so, ayun. nahulog nnman si ako so naging kami nnaman. away bati, hiwalay balikan lang ang nangyayare.. nag let go nlng tlga ako nung nagkaaway kami ng matindi kasi sobra na daw pagdududa ko sa kanya. naging sila ulit nung ex nya, pero... kami pa din madalas magkasama ni girl. alm kong mali, gusto ko ng makawala pero mahal ko sya. so kahit na alam ko na kung anu yung sagot, yung tamang sagot, nandito akoo at humihingi ng advice nyo. salamat.

Are you sure you still need advice? Because based from your story you can't seem to stay away from her DESPITE all the negative things she's been throwing at you and making you feel miserable in the process.

I think at this point it is very obvious that you became her rebound and she can't seem to stay away from her ex but at the same time she wants to keep you maybe because she's feeling weak or you're a good option or she wants to have her cake and eat it too. You have to understand that whatever she's feeling or behaving right now is out of your control and you can't change her. You already tried but she kept going back to her old ways. She is wasted and no amount of love from you or anyone for that matter can help her overcome her problems because it is something that she needs to do on her own. Now, the ball is actually on your side of the court. You said you love her dearly but it wasn't able to change anything did it? So the question here is, do you want to live miserably as she fixes herself? If you do, you have to know that if she has fixed her problem and moved on there's no guarantee that she would choose you. Because at that point she has moved on already and perhaps stronger.

You have been given the chance to see the kind of life you'd be living if you still want to continue. Do you really want that? She has lied to you already and she has been having on and off relationship with her ex and you. Do you really like this kind of relationship? Yes you do love her but that doesn't mean that you have to be a doormat. Sometimes you need to realize that if your love wasn't able to change someone then maybe it's time to step back and look at the big picture. She has lied to you and it broke you trust hence your frequent doubts. That alone is already a red flag. I say, let her go and let her be. Let her fix her issue with her ex and stop being an option.

 

[BHBH]

Are you sure you still need advice? Because based from your story you can't seem to stay away from her DESPITE all the negative things she's been throwing at you and making you feel miserable in the process.

I think at this point it is very obvious that you became her rebound and she can't seem to stay away from her ex but at the same time she wants to keep you maybe because she's feeling weak or you're a good option or she wants to have her cake and eat it too. You have to understand that whatever she's feeling or behaving right now is out of your control and you can't change her. You already tried but she kept going back to her old ways. She is wasted and no amount of love from you or anyone for that matter can help her overcome her problems because it is something that she needs to do on her own. Now, the ball is actually on your side of the court. You said you love her dearly but it wasn't able to change anything did it? So the question here is, do you want to live miserably as she fixes herself? If you do, you have to know that if she has fixed her problem and moved on there's no guarantee that she would choose you. Because at that point she has moved on already and perhaps stronger.

You have been given the chance to see the kind of life you'd be living if you still want to continue. Do you really want that? She has lied to you already and she has been having on and off relationship with her ex and you. Do you really like this kind of relationship? Yes you do love her but that doesn't mean that you have to be a doormat. Sometimes you need to realize that if your love wasn't able to change someone then maybe it's time to step back and look at the big picture. She has lied to you and it broke you trust hence your frequent doubts. That alone is already a red flag. I say, let her go and let her be. Let her fix her issue with her ex and stop being an option.

thanks for the thoughts. very much appreciated and i totally got your point... i knew the fact that, it is me who have a problem here, because i cant resist her and for that matter, i cant understand myself... she’s not my first, i ve been in a relationship before, she’s the 5th and for the record, she s the only one who cheated on me, this is also the first time im engaged with a “love triangle setup”. i want a change already, i mean, that is one of my new year’s resolution, to stay away from her because i think i had enough, but recently, she is talking about giving up on him, she talk about that she’s not happy with him anymore and she can never be happy with him. it is just that she cant dumped her 4year relationship just like that, but she is decided that she will breakup with him eventually. she didnt asked me directly but in her tone, she want me to wait. and guess what, the gullible me believes her, again...

 

[foxboy]

Ang kulit ng kuwento mo bossing pero away bati dahil di nya mabura ung nagpasakit sa kanya na may anak? Wow ha, I don't know about you but I guess you don't seem to have an advice from us, ikaw na mismo nagsabi na mahal mo parin siya despite sa nagawa nya sa'yo, so it is either go with your heart says and face what the consequences na lalabas (kung ano man na negative events in the future) or totally avoid her, forget her and find another girl na hindi ka masasaktan ng ganyan.

Furthermore, tingin ko kasi sa girl mo mukhang undecided pa rin siya despite sa masamang nakaraan nya na hanggang sa present nya, ayaw mabura sa kanya ang lalaking nanloloko sa kanya. Mahal nya pa rin yun kasi kahit kayo na, sila pa rin or vice versa. Sa kanta pa yan para kay girl, "KUNG ANG IROG MO AY DALAWA, PALAYAIN ANG ISA".

Much more further, you said that she is the only one who cheated on you sa lima, so therefore, ikaw nanloko sa apat? haha, so parang sweet revenge ang andito sa nagawa mo at isa na ata tong pagmulat sa nagawa mo before. So alam mo na siguro na masakit pala sa'yo so kung ano man ang laman ng puso mo, go with it at least you follow your heart even though you will take your chances no matter what future brings for the both of you.

 

[motoro]

thanks for the thoughts. very much appreciated and i totally got your point... i knew the fact that, it is me who have a problem here, because i cant resist her and for that matter, i cant understand myself... she’s not my first, i ve been in a relationship before, she’s the 5th and for the record, she s the only one who cheated on me, this is also the first time im engaged with a “love triangle setup”. i want a change already, i mean, that is one of my new year’s resolution, to stay away from her because i think i had enough, but recently, she is talking about giving up on him, she talk about that she’s not happy with him anymore and she can never be happy with him. it is just that she cant dumped her 4year relationship just like that, but she is decided that she will breakup with him eventually. she didnt asked me directly but in her tone, she want me to wait. and guess what, the gullible me believes her, again...

On the bright side, many people had this kind of experience at some point in their lives. I think the word of the day here is hope - people hope that one day the love of their life will change for the better or the situation will change for the better. They don't look at the factors surrounding the situation for them to decide whether it's worth waiting for or not thus saving time and misery.

Like in your case, it's pretty much difficult to trust what she's saying right now. Not that she's intentionally lying to you but she's hoping as well. You said it yourself that she can't just throw away a 4 year relationship. So even if she made all sorts of promises to break it off with the ex, it's just verbal because what she truly feels inside is still the ex otherwise there would be no lying or on and off relationships anymore. Right now, for me, I don't think she has true feelings for you yet because she's all messed up. The reason why rebounds exist is because the one yearning for a lose love takes someone in to fill in the void just to keep them sane and what not.

A brokenhearted person needs time alone to clear their mind, to accept and to move on. This way, when they finally come to their senses and have finally moved on they can give a prospect boyfriend/girlfriend all their undivided attention. If you decide to stick around and be her knight in shining armor it's up to you. But you have to understand that being a rebound comes with a lot of risks and pain because if the ex makes a complete turnaround and change for the better, I'm pretty sure she will always go back to him. If not, she could still dump you after she has finally moved on because she will realize that she entertained you because she needed someone during her misery and not because you were her choice. I don't want to sound discouraging but I haven't heard of a rebound relationship that turns into a lasting relationship.

So for me, I don't think it's a good idea. However, at the end of the day it is still your choice. Just make sure you are aware of the risks involve. Good luck.

 

[BHBH]

Ang kulit ng kuwento mo bossing pero away bati dahil di nya mabura ung nagpasakit sa kanya na may anak? Wow ha, I don't know about you but I guess you don't seem to have an advice from us, ikaw na mismo nagsabi na mahal mo parin siya despite sa nagawa nya sa'yo, so it is either go with your heart says and face what the consequences na lalabas (kung ano man na negative events in the future) or totally avoid her, forget her and find another girl na hindi ka masasaktan ng ganyan.

Furthermore, tingin ko kasi sa girl mo mukhang undecided pa rin siya despite sa masamang nakaraan nya na hanggang sa present nya, ayaw mabura sa kanya ang lalaking nanloloko sa kanya. Mahal nya pa rin yun kasi kahit kayo na, sila pa rin or vice versa. Sa kanta pa yan para kay girl, "KUNG ANG IROG MO AY DALAWA, PALAYAIN ANG ISA".

Much more further, you said that she is the only one who cheated on you sa lima, so therefore, ikaw nanloko sa apat? haha, so parang sweet revenge ang andito sa nagawa mo at isa na ata tong pagmulat sa nagawa mo before. So alam mo na siguro na masakit pala sa'yo so kung ano man ang laman ng puso mo, go with it at least you follow your heart even though you will take your chances no matter what future brings for the both of you.

grabe naman yun bossing, hindi ko niloko yung 4, mga ex’es ko yun and what i want to say is, hindi sa ganung paraan or reason kung bakit nagkahiwalay kami nung mga yun.. anyway, kaya ako nanghihingi ng tulong at advice, gusto kong ma enlighten, maliwanagan, matauhan kasi alam ko naamn talaga sa sarili ko na mali, na hindi na tama, na ang tanga tanga ko na at nawawalan na ko ng respesto sa sarili ko. yung nag iisa kong bff na girl na nasasabihan ng mga problema like this, hindi ko na malapitan kasi nahihiya ako. wala na akong masabihan ng problema ko so dito ako nagseek ng help. anyway, thanks bossing.

 

[angelanjo]

thanks for the thoughts. very much appreciated and i totally got your point... i knew the fact that, it is me who have a problem here, because i cant resist her and for that matter, i cant understand myself... she’s not my first, i ve been in a relationship before, she’s the 5th and for the record, she s the only one who cheated on me, this is also the first time im engaged with a “love triangle setup”. i want a change already, i mean, that is one of my new year’s resolution, to stay away from her because i think i had enough, but recently, she is talking about giving up on him, she talk about that she’s not happy with him anymore and she can never be happy with him. it is just that she cant dumped her 4year relationship just like that, but she is decided that she will breakup with him eventually. she didnt asked me directly but in her tone, she want me to wait. and guess what, the gullible me believes her, again...

I would advise you to not be swayed with what she wants. I'd advise you to follow what you want. Gusto mo bang mag antay?

I know why you cannot resist her. You cannot resist her because you value her more than yourself. And I'll ask you why would you want to be with someone who puts you in that kind of situation? A loving relationship should consist of two people who value each other and adds value to each others lives. If she's tearing you down, you'd have to rethink why you're letting her do that to you.

If she really cares for you, then let her prove it while you distance yourself from her. And while you distance yourself from her, look inward and ask yourself if she's worth all the pain she's causing you.

 

[zeus001]

not really an advise per se

pero some of the things you might wanna consider


almost if not all relationships trust would be one basic foundation.
the moment that trust breaks, thats when over jealousy, and other disruptive factors come one into play

now if you can ignore that and continuously be in a relationship
well you know what to do.

 

[zamoraszzz]

Kalimutan mo na yan, sige sige maglibang...

... Sa tingin ko alam mo na kasunod.

You deserve better pare wag ka na magpakahibang dyan.

 

[BHBH]

Salamat mga sir, although hindi pa rin nag ssync in sa utak ko pero, ill try my best na lang para makawala sa kanya.
To be honest, alam ko naman talaga sagot, may problema lang talaga ako. Parang gusto ko lang madiscourage lalo or naghahanap ng idea, baka sakaling may makapagsabi sa akin kung anu dapt kong gawin, gusto ko din kasi na walang sama ng loob yung ppart ways namin.
Kahit na may nagawa syang masama sa akin, hindi rin naman ibig sabihin nun na umaasa pa ko na magiging kami pa rin after nyang maayos sarili nya. Ayoko na rin, tama na talaga siguro.

 

[Emo Ji]

Niloko kana pala at nahuli mong parang nakikipagbalikan gf mo sa ex niya.
at bumalik uli siya saiyo.

Pero ngayon ay parang nagdududa ka sa kanya.
Palagay ko TS Tiwala ang nawala.
Palagay korin na gusto mo parin siya pero wala kanang tiwala sa gf mo.
Lage nga kayong mag-aaway niyan.
Hanggat may pagdududa ka, hinde magiging maayos relasyon niyong dalawa.
Nasa saiyo na TS ang ikakabago ng sitwasyon niyo.
Magtitiwala ka ba uli O hihiwalayan mo na siya dahil mahirap nang ibalik ang tiwala mo sa kanya.

 

[darkriff]

history repeats itself. pero ikaw naman ung subject.

 

[chichadoms15]

Are you sure you still need advice? Because based from your story you can't seem to stay away from her DESPITE all the negative things she's been throwing at you and making you feel miserable in the process.

I think at this point it is very obvious that you became her rebound and she can't seem to stay away from her ex but at the same time she wants to keep you maybe because she's feeling weak or you're a good option or she wants to have her cake and eat it too. You have to understand that whatever she's feeling or behaving right now is out of your control and you can't change her. You already tried but she kept going back to her old ways. She is wasted and no amount of love from you or anyone for that matter can help her overcome her problems because it is something that she needs to do on her own. Now, the ball is actually on your side of the court. You said you love her dearly but it wasn't able to change anything did it? So the question here is, do you want to live miserably as she fixes herself? If you do, you have to know that if she has fixed her problem and moved on there's no guarantee that she would choose you. Because at that point she has moved on already and perhaps stronger.

You have been given the chance to see the kind of life you'd be living if you still want to continue. Do you really want that? She has lied to you already and she has been having on and off relationship with her ex and you. Do you really like this kind of relationship? Yes you do love her but that doesn't mean that you have to be a doormat. Sometimes you need to realize that if your love wasn't able to change someone then maybe it's time to step back and look at the big picture. She has lied to you and it broke you trust hence your frequent doubts. That alone is already a red flag. I say, let her go and let her be. Let her fix her issue with her ex and stop being an option.

I strongly agree. suuper like this advice., stop being an option, or should i say stop being the last option.