I have got loads of things on my mind. I don't know where, when and how to start.
But let me walk you through my mind...
my deepest emotions behind my smiles....
But let me walk you through my mind...
my deepest emotions behind my smiles....
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Ms Dem's untold stories...
- Thread starter demonyita
- Start date
- Replies 89
- Views 13,723
- Thread Starter
- #2
Hindi po ako magaling na manunulat... ito lang po ang mga nasa aking kaisipan...
Isinulat noong 30th ng Hulyo 2004
Sana'y mabasa ninyo...
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
MY OLD VINTAGE CAR
I remember the day when I got face to face with my fear. It terrifies me. It threatens me and even scared me.
It was one fine Monday morning. The sun shone brightly, it sings with joy and gaze with laughter. For other people, it was just an ordinary day greeting them and preparing them for a new problem to face. For me, it was one of my crossroads in my life. It was only after 3 years before I realized that it leaves an impact I never thought it will ever had.
I always wanted a car – a blue vintage car that stands out with its elegance and its exquisite and classic magnificence. I always thought that having it will cater to my happiness. It will serve as may crown forever. But I was wrong.
Time had passed and my image of my dreamed car vanished into my eyes. My high regard to the vintage card became blurred. I don’t know what’s the main reason but I know as time passed by I cannot remember anything about it.
I was walking along the road and one fast, furious car passed by my side. I almost stumble down but then I kept myself composed. I yell with anger knowing that it could hit me hard. I was pissed off. Slowly, I saw a car coming near me. As it moves towards my way, I its image became clearer. A black toned car approached me. From the bumper down to its trunk simply captivated me. It was beautiful. As I examined every detail of its parts, it registered into my mind. I never thought I would admire another car. It looked perfectly. JAGUAR – one of the topped rated cars in the world. I envisioned myself having it in the future. Looking unto it everyday became obsession.
It is like choosing between an old vintage car and a modern, topped rated car in the world. I then chose Jaguar. I wanted to keep it and have it as long as I want. I neglected my first love car. I researched and examined every detail of my new found obsession. I mastered every single part of it.
As time goes by, it began to show its disadvantages. I cannot trust anybody to be with it. I wanted everybody not to touch it and even looked at it. I protected it as if it was a part of my life. But time does not agree with me. Little by little, I knew the beauty that I admire will soon fade off. I was afraid that one day I would wake up alone by myself finding it gone.
I was right. It fades off and found it gone. As I walked along the road, I remember my old vintage car. I should have kept it. I should have treasure it as I treasure my dream. I should have give respect to it for it showed me what a real car must have. As I am walking, rain fell really hard that I must find a place where to drop by and wait until the rain stop. I saw a Blue painted Spanish designed house. Its garage was opened, as I run towards the gate so I could just stay for a while, I saw a blue colored vehicle. A middle aged lady was beside the car. She was wiping and cleaning it. I tried very hard to recognize the car. It looked very familiar. As I run towards the car, I was shocked to what I saw. It was the old vintage car I used to admire and desire. I examined every little detail that would confirmed to me that the car was the one. After I analyze it, I am certain that it was the car I used to love and treasure. The lady asked me if something is wrong. I nodded and told her that her car was beautiful. She then said that when she found that car, she knew that it was the one she wanted and care to have. She was sure that the car was the one she’s looking for and wanted to have for the rest of her life. For the last time, I touched the car and told her that she’s so lucky to have it.
The rain had stopped. I went on walking and walking. As I walk along, tears rolled down my cheeks. I’m not aware why I am crying. I cannot explain my feelings. I decided to sit under the tree. As I stare along the road, I then realized the reason why tears flowed down. I am not ready to set eyes on my once desired car unto another person’s hand. I should have kept it. I should have treasure it. I should have been contented with it. But it was too late, now I cannot have it even though I realized that it was the one I wanted to have and treasure for the rest of my life…….
Isinulat noong 30th ng Hulyo 2004
Sana'y mabasa ninyo...
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
MY OLD VINTAGE CAR
I remember the day when I got face to face with my fear. It terrifies me. It threatens me and even scared me.
It was one fine Monday morning. The sun shone brightly, it sings with joy and gaze with laughter. For other people, it was just an ordinary day greeting them and preparing them for a new problem to face. For me, it was one of my crossroads in my life. It was only after 3 years before I realized that it leaves an impact I never thought it will ever had.
I always wanted a car – a blue vintage car that stands out with its elegance and its exquisite and classic magnificence. I always thought that having it will cater to my happiness. It will serve as may crown forever. But I was wrong.
Time had passed and my image of my dreamed car vanished into my eyes. My high regard to the vintage card became blurred. I don’t know what’s the main reason but I know as time passed by I cannot remember anything about it.
I was walking along the road and one fast, furious car passed by my side. I almost stumble down but then I kept myself composed. I yell with anger knowing that it could hit me hard. I was pissed off. Slowly, I saw a car coming near me. As it moves towards my way, I its image became clearer. A black toned car approached me. From the bumper down to its trunk simply captivated me. It was beautiful. As I examined every detail of its parts, it registered into my mind. I never thought I would admire another car. It looked perfectly. JAGUAR – one of the topped rated cars in the world. I envisioned myself having it in the future. Looking unto it everyday became obsession.
It is like choosing between an old vintage car and a modern, topped rated car in the world. I then chose Jaguar. I wanted to keep it and have it as long as I want. I neglected my first love car. I researched and examined every detail of my new found obsession. I mastered every single part of it.
As time goes by, it began to show its disadvantages. I cannot trust anybody to be with it. I wanted everybody not to touch it and even looked at it. I protected it as if it was a part of my life. But time does not agree with me. Little by little, I knew the beauty that I admire will soon fade off. I was afraid that one day I would wake up alone by myself finding it gone.
I was right. It fades off and found it gone. As I walked along the road, I remember my old vintage car. I should have kept it. I should have treasure it as I treasure my dream. I should have give respect to it for it showed me what a real car must have. As I am walking, rain fell really hard that I must find a place where to drop by and wait until the rain stop. I saw a Blue painted Spanish designed house. Its garage was opened, as I run towards the gate so I could just stay for a while, I saw a blue colored vehicle. A middle aged lady was beside the car. She was wiping and cleaning it. I tried very hard to recognize the car. It looked very familiar. As I run towards the car, I was shocked to what I saw. It was the old vintage car I used to admire and desire. I examined every little detail that would confirmed to me that the car was the one. After I analyze it, I am certain that it was the car I used to love and treasure. The lady asked me if something is wrong. I nodded and told her that her car was beautiful. She then said that when she found that car, she knew that it was the one she wanted and care to have. She was sure that the car was the one she’s looking for and wanted to have for the rest of her life. For the last time, I touched the car and told her that she’s so lucky to have it.
The rain had stopped. I went on walking and walking. As I walk along, tears rolled down my cheeks. I’m not aware why I am crying. I cannot explain my feelings. I decided to sit under the tree. As I stare along the road, I then realized the reason why tears flowed down. I am not ready to set eyes on my once desired car unto another person’s hand. I should have kept it. I should have treasure it. I should have been contented with it. But it was too late, now I cannot have it even though I realized that it was the one I wanted to have and treasure for the rest of my life…….
- Thread Starter
- #3
Pagpasensyahan na po ang pagiinglis ko nagpipilit lang po... 
Isinulat noong 3 ng Agosto 2003
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Realization of Love
Ever since I knew what love is all about, I always wish that someday I could have someone whom I can share my thoughts of life, my opinions and my deepest angst in my existence.
When I was in my senior year in high school, I came to experience the views of love. Along came a man who accepted me and love me for who am I and what I am. He taught me how to love unconditionally and realize that our failures and defeats were our ingredients for love. I thought that it would never end… But it was only a wishful thinking...
We enrolled in different colleges and we never realized that it would be the beginning of our dilemma. He had a friend named Jocelyn. When we had our misunderstandings and fights, he turned to her for advice. Summer of 1999, I knew it was coming, I can really feel that we were not getting along with each other well. Before the end of the year we broke up.
I was really hurt, I loved him more than I love myself. I was only seventeen then but I knew it really hit me hard. Every night I wept in my room. I really cried. I never realize that it affected me that much.
For three years, I always hoped for his come back but it never happened. It was 12 midnight, I can’t sleep. Something bothered me. I don’t know what it is but I knew that someone needed my help. My phone rang, when I picked up the phone, I was shocked. It was a familiar voice. A deep, baritone voice… It was Jerry.
“ Hi, kamusta ka na (how are you)?”
“Uhm… well I’m okay… Problem?”
“ Wala naman (nothing). Gusto lang kitang kamustahin.”
GOSH… after 3 long years ngayon lang niya ako naalala… gusto ko siyang sumbatan! Itanong kung ano ang ginawa ko bakit niya ako ginanito…Hindi ko magawa. A part of me really miss him that much. I just wondered kung bakit siya napatawag. I know na may mabigat na dahilan.
“Are you sure na yun lang ang gusto mong sabihin sa akin.”
“Actually, I want to seek for your forgiveness. Sa mga nagawa ko sa iyo 3 years ago. I know na hindi ikaw ang may mali kasi ako ang natukso. I wanted to talked to you before and beg you to come back kaya lang hindi ko nagawa kasi kinakain ako ng pride ko. Hindi ko rin alam baka kasi hindi mo ulit ako tanggapin.”
“Bakit hindi ka nagtry? Siguro naman kung mage-explain ka, I will understand.”
“Sana nga nasabi ko sa iyo dati pa. Pero ang totoo kaya rin ako tumawag para humingi ng advice sa iyo.”
“Advice? Para saan?”
“Jocelyn is 3 months pregnant… Hindi ko alam kung ano ang gagawin ko… Hindi pa kami ready and ayoko na masira siya sa parents niya…”
I was shocked… After 3 years ngayon siya tatawag. Ang akala ko babalik na siya sa akin. Pero instead iba ang narinig ko. Hindi ko napansin na umiiyak nap ala ako.
“Umiiyak ka ba? Bakit? May nasabi ba akong masama?”
“Wala naman. Nagulat lang ako sa narinig ko. Hindi ko lang inexpect na ganito ang ikukwento mo sa akin. Ang advice ko lang sa iyo, panagutan mo. Bigyan mo ng apelyido yung bata. Huwag niyong idamay. Mali na nga yung ginawa niyo gagawa pa ulit kayo ng mali just to make it right. Akala niyo lang naging tama pero hindi. You’ll kill an innocent child… Kaya niyo bang isipin na pinatay niyo ang anak niyo…”
Upon saying those words, napahagulgol na talaga ako. Hindi ko na napigilan. Ayoko sanang malaman niya na nasasaktan pa rin ako despite na matagal na kaming wala.
“Kaya ko ba talaga ito Louise?” Kaya ko na ba magkaroon ng pamilya?”
“Hindi kita masasagot sa mga tanong mo na iyan. All I can say is that kung talagang mahal mo nga si Jocelyn, then kakayanin mo maging isang responsible person for her and your baby. Kailangan mong kayanin. It takes a lot of courage para harapin ang consequences ng ginawa niyo but just remember na kaya binigay sa inyo yan kasi ibig sabihin you are blessed. Maraming mga couples ang gustong magkaroon ng anak but unfortunately hindi sila nagkakaroon. Kaya ngayon be thankful kasi you are one of the luckiest people na magkakaroon ng baby. “
“Alam mo… Thank you talaga… Kaya ikaw ang kinausap ko about dito kasi alam ko na maiintindihan mo ako.”
“I hope na sana nakatulong ako… Goodluck na lang sa inyong dalawa… I hope na lalabas yung baby niyo ng ok. Sige, I have to sleep na kasi may pasok pa ako tomorrow”
“Wait… I just wanted to say something…”
“Ano yun?”
“You are wonderful person inside and out. I hope na makakita ka rin ng worthy sa pagmamahal mo. You played a part in my life. Thankful ako for being with you once in my life… Just remember na I loved you and you will always be here in my heart. Thank you for understanding me sa lahat ng bagay. Thank you.”
We ended our conversation without him knowing that it really hurt me. Iyak ako ng iyak. Akala ko end of the world na. As if my world turned upside down. I can’t breathe… I don’t understand why… Ganito ba talaga ang masaktan? Sobra sobrang sakit talaga… I wanted him to be happy pero nasasaktan ako. Siguro we are really not meant to be… Ito na lang ang magagawa ko para sa kanya… Ito ang alam kong way para maparamdam sa kanya na I’m still here for him inspite of what happened. If this is LOVE they called… then I am letting my feelings fly in the air… kasama ng mga hopes ko na babalik siya… Pero kung ang LOVE ay ang makita siyang masaya… then… hindi ako ang taong makakapagpasaya sa kanya… I know it’s Jocelyn and his future baby… Kahit masakit kailangan kong tanggapin… Kahit masakit kailangan kong ipagpatuloy mabuhay kahit na masaktan ako… I guess this is LOVE… Not just letting other people go but accepting that they are gone… I would be happy if I would see him happy even if his happiness means that I am not a part of it… I just have to accept it… FACTS OF LIFE and FACTS OF LOVE…
Isinulat noong 3 ng Agosto 2003
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Realization of Love
Ever since I knew what love is all about, I always wish that someday I could have someone whom I can share my thoughts of life, my opinions and my deepest angst in my existence.
When I was in my senior year in high school, I came to experience the views of love. Along came a man who accepted me and love me for who am I and what I am. He taught me how to love unconditionally and realize that our failures and defeats were our ingredients for love. I thought that it would never end… But it was only a wishful thinking...
We enrolled in different colleges and we never realized that it would be the beginning of our dilemma. He had a friend named Jocelyn. When we had our misunderstandings and fights, he turned to her for advice. Summer of 1999, I knew it was coming, I can really feel that we were not getting along with each other well. Before the end of the year we broke up.
I was really hurt, I loved him more than I love myself. I was only seventeen then but I knew it really hit me hard. Every night I wept in my room. I really cried. I never realize that it affected me that much.
For three years, I always hoped for his come back but it never happened. It was 12 midnight, I can’t sleep. Something bothered me. I don’t know what it is but I knew that someone needed my help. My phone rang, when I picked up the phone, I was shocked. It was a familiar voice. A deep, baritone voice… It was Jerry.
“ Hi, kamusta ka na (how are you)?”
“Uhm… well I’m okay… Problem?”
“ Wala naman (nothing). Gusto lang kitang kamustahin.”
GOSH… after 3 long years ngayon lang niya ako naalala… gusto ko siyang sumbatan! Itanong kung ano ang ginawa ko bakit niya ako ginanito…Hindi ko magawa. A part of me really miss him that much. I just wondered kung bakit siya napatawag. I know na may mabigat na dahilan.
“Are you sure na yun lang ang gusto mong sabihin sa akin.”
“Actually, I want to seek for your forgiveness. Sa mga nagawa ko sa iyo 3 years ago. I know na hindi ikaw ang may mali kasi ako ang natukso. I wanted to talked to you before and beg you to come back kaya lang hindi ko nagawa kasi kinakain ako ng pride ko. Hindi ko rin alam baka kasi hindi mo ulit ako tanggapin.”
“Bakit hindi ka nagtry? Siguro naman kung mage-explain ka, I will understand.”
“Sana nga nasabi ko sa iyo dati pa. Pero ang totoo kaya rin ako tumawag para humingi ng advice sa iyo.”
“Advice? Para saan?”
“Jocelyn is 3 months pregnant… Hindi ko alam kung ano ang gagawin ko… Hindi pa kami ready and ayoko na masira siya sa parents niya…”
I was shocked… After 3 years ngayon siya tatawag. Ang akala ko babalik na siya sa akin. Pero instead iba ang narinig ko. Hindi ko napansin na umiiyak nap ala ako.
“Umiiyak ka ba? Bakit? May nasabi ba akong masama?”
“Wala naman. Nagulat lang ako sa narinig ko. Hindi ko lang inexpect na ganito ang ikukwento mo sa akin. Ang advice ko lang sa iyo, panagutan mo. Bigyan mo ng apelyido yung bata. Huwag niyong idamay. Mali na nga yung ginawa niyo gagawa pa ulit kayo ng mali just to make it right. Akala niyo lang naging tama pero hindi. You’ll kill an innocent child… Kaya niyo bang isipin na pinatay niyo ang anak niyo…”
Upon saying those words, napahagulgol na talaga ako. Hindi ko na napigilan. Ayoko sanang malaman niya na nasasaktan pa rin ako despite na matagal na kaming wala.
“Kaya ko ba talaga ito Louise?” Kaya ko na ba magkaroon ng pamilya?”
“Hindi kita masasagot sa mga tanong mo na iyan. All I can say is that kung talagang mahal mo nga si Jocelyn, then kakayanin mo maging isang responsible person for her and your baby. Kailangan mong kayanin. It takes a lot of courage para harapin ang consequences ng ginawa niyo but just remember na kaya binigay sa inyo yan kasi ibig sabihin you are blessed. Maraming mga couples ang gustong magkaroon ng anak but unfortunately hindi sila nagkakaroon. Kaya ngayon be thankful kasi you are one of the luckiest people na magkakaroon ng baby. “
“Alam mo… Thank you talaga… Kaya ikaw ang kinausap ko about dito kasi alam ko na maiintindihan mo ako.”
“I hope na sana nakatulong ako… Goodluck na lang sa inyong dalawa… I hope na lalabas yung baby niyo ng ok. Sige, I have to sleep na kasi may pasok pa ako tomorrow”
“Wait… I just wanted to say something…”
“Ano yun?”
“You are wonderful person inside and out. I hope na makakita ka rin ng worthy sa pagmamahal mo. You played a part in my life. Thankful ako for being with you once in my life… Just remember na I loved you and you will always be here in my heart. Thank you for understanding me sa lahat ng bagay. Thank you.”
We ended our conversation without him knowing that it really hurt me. Iyak ako ng iyak. Akala ko end of the world na. As if my world turned upside down. I can’t breathe… I don’t understand why… Ganito ba talaga ang masaktan? Sobra sobrang sakit talaga… I wanted him to be happy pero nasasaktan ako. Siguro we are really not meant to be… Ito na lang ang magagawa ko para sa kanya… Ito ang alam kong way para maparamdam sa kanya na I’m still here for him inspite of what happened. If this is LOVE they called… then I am letting my feelings fly in the air… kasama ng mga hopes ko na babalik siya… Pero kung ang LOVE ay ang makita siyang masaya… then… hindi ako ang taong makakapagpasaya sa kanya… I know it’s Jocelyn and his future baby… Kahit masakit kailangan kong tanggapin… Kahit masakit kailangan kong ipagpatuloy mabuhay kahit na masaktan ako… I guess this is LOVE… Not just letting other people go but accepting that they are gone… I would be happy if I would see him happy even if his happiness means that I am not a part of it… I just have to accept it… FACTS OF LIFE and FACTS OF LOVE…
- Thread Starter
- #4
naisulat ko po sa isang tissue paper ng starbucks nung minsang nagmumuni muni ako habang hinihintay ang bestfriend ko...
Isinulat noong 31 ng Oktubre 2005
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Life
Oftentimes I asked myself, is this life really has to be unfair? Questions seemed to be left unanswered.
Feelings have to be deserted and kept. As you seek to find answers,
it tends to find its ways just leave much more complicated things to ponder upon.
How could be life be so cruel and unjust.
You can’t even catch upon permanent running of chariot of change. You can’t even race through dashes of sprints.
Why can’t it be just like coffee and cream that blends just like the way you want it to be?
Why can’t it be a pen that only writes when you want it to be?
Does it have to be a storm that comes in glance?
Does it have to be an illness that strikes in an instance?
Or does it even have to be an earthquake that happens in the stillness of world.
Now tell me why…why it has to be complex…
Why do humans have to suffer and feelings have to be mended. Do you know the answers to my questions?
I bet you don’t…
For life is created in a world where the mystery of change remains to be left undiscovered and even unspoken.
Isinulat noong 31 ng Oktubre 2005
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Life
Oftentimes I asked myself, is this life really has to be unfair? Questions seemed to be left unanswered.
Feelings have to be deserted and kept. As you seek to find answers,
it tends to find its ways just leave much more complicated things to ponder upon.
How could be life be so cruel and unjust.
You can’t even catch upon permanent running of chariot of change. You can’t even race through dashes of sprints.
Why can’t it be just like coffee and cream that blends just like the way you want it to be?
Why can’t it be a pen that only writes when you want it to be?
Does it have to be a storm that comes in glance?
Does it have to be an illness that strikes in an instance?
Or does it even have to be an earthquake that happens in the stillness of world.
Now tell me why…why it has to be complex…
Why do humans have to suffer and feelings have to be mended. Do you know the answers to my questions?
I bet you don’t…
For life is created in a world where the mystery of change remains to be left undiscovered and even unspoken.
- Thread Starter
- #6
n3v3rh3ard
Terminated Account
- Messages
- 4
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- 0
- Points
- 16
wow...ganda naman po ng mga stories mo..
di sa nkaka L.. nakakaaliw pong basahin..
what a smil.. im sure d lang po yan mga sexperience mo.. nakakagigil smile mo..what more kung kaharap ka na siguro..
di sa nkaka L.. nakakaaliw pong basahin..
what a smil.. im sure d lang po yan mga sexperience mo.. nakakagigil smile mo..what more kung kaharap ka na siguro..
- Messages
- 117
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 26
Last edited:
- Thread Starter
- #10
wow...ganda naman po ng mga stories mo..
di sa nkaka L.. nakakaaliw pong basahin..
what a smil.. im sure d lang po yan mga sexperience mo.. nakakagigil smile mo..what more kung kaharap ka na siguro..
wholesome stories ko po ito...
baka ang nakita mo e yung mga confession ko sa AZ..
maraming salamat na rin po sa pagbabasa...
keep on coming
salamat po... nawa'y makasulat uli sa mga susnod na panahon...
marami ang mga nagmahal sayo isa na ako nun.di ka nag iisa.
ruib...
thanks...
- Thread Starter
- #11
Sabi ng isang thread dito sa forum, “KUMUSTA ANG PUSO MO NGAYON by Mimiq05”. Isang napakasimpleng tanong pero napakahirap sagutin.
Kung iyong bubusisiin, kailangan mong kilalanin at hugutin ang mga nasa kailaliman ng iyong kaisipan at nararamdaman.
Naitanong ko ito sa sarili ko habang binabasa ko ang mga post nila. Ilang araw na akong nagmumuni muni at hindi ko
makalimutan ang simpleng tanong na ito. Pero hanggang ngayon hindi ko pa rin masagot.
Gusto kong sagutin na MANHID ang puso ko. Ngunit nakakaramdam naman ito. Lalo na ng pagmamahal ng aking pamilya at mga kaibigan. Manhid kaya ito dahil sa mga taong nagpaparamdam na andiyan sila sa tabi ko ngunit lagi kong isinasara ang puso at isipian ko sa kanila?
Gusto ko ring isagot na BATO pero paano bang masasabing bato ang puso kung nalulungkot ako at naawa rin sa mga tao?
Isagot ko kayang NAWAWALA ang puso ko. Pero alam ko naman kung nasaan ang puso ko sa ngayon. Pinipilit ko lang iwagkis sa isip ko. Nagkukunwaring matibay at kaya ang lahat. Pinipilit magisa kahit mayroong gusting dumamay.
Hindi ko nakayanan kung kaya’t naitanong ko sa aking Ina ang simpleng tanong dito sa thread na ito. Ngumiti siya sa akin at niyakap niya ako. Hindi mo man alam kung kumusta ang puso mo anak basta ang alam ko andito kami kahit na anong mangyari sa puso mo.
Niyakap ko ang aking Ina ngunit nakakunot pa rin ang noo ko. Nagiisip, nagmumuni-muni at sana sa mga susunod na panahon ang simpleng tanong na ito ay makahanap na rin ako ng simpleng sagot
Credits to Mimiq05 - ang ganda ng tanong mo sis, hanggang ngayon palaispan sa akin ang sagot...
Kung iyong bubusisiin, kailangan mong kilalanin at hugutin ang mga nasa kailaliman ng iyong kaisipan at nararamdaman.
Naitanong ko ito sa sarili ko habang binabasa ko ang mga post nila. Ilang araw na akong nagmumuni muni at hindi ko
makalimutan ang simpleng tanong na ito. Pero hanggang ngayon hindi ko pa rin masagot.
Gusto kong sagutin na MANHID ang puso ko. Ngunit nakakaramdam naman ito. Lalo na ng pagmamahal ng aking pamilya at mga kaibigan. Manhid kaya ito dahil sa mga taong nagpaparamdam na andiyan sila sa tabi ko ngunit lagi kong isinasara ang puso at isipian ko sa kanila?
Gusto ko ring isagot na BATO pero paano bang masasabing bato ang puso kung nalulungkot ako at naawa rin sa mga tao?
Isagot ko kayang NAWAWALA ang puso ko. Pero alam ko naman kung nasaan ang puso ko sa ngayon. Pinipilit ko lang iwagkis sa isip ko. Nagkukunwaring matibay at kaya ang lahat. Pinipilit magisa kahit mayroong gusting dumamay.
Hindi ko nakayanan kung kaya’t naitanong ko sa aking Ina ang simpleng tanong dito sa thread na ito. Ngumiti siya sa akin at niyakap niya ako. Hindi mo man alam kung kumusta ang puso mo anak basta ang alam ko andito kami kahit na anong mangyari sa puso mo.
Niyakap ko ang aking Ina ngunit nakakunot pa rin ang noo ko. Nagiisip, nagmumuni-muni at sana sa mga susunod na panahon ang simpleng tanong na ito ay makahanap na rin ako ng simpleng sagot
Credits to Mimiq05 - ang ganda ng tanong mo sis, hanggang ngayon palaispan sa akin ang sagot...
Last edited:
- Thread Starter
- #13
ichecheck ko to. gaganda ng laman.
keep them coming.
really appreciated po ang pagbisita ninyo...
sana po makasulat pa ulit ako ng magugustuhan ninyo....
- Thread Starter
- #15
Bata pa lang ako noon at naglalaro sa tabi ng aking lola. Kausap niya ang isa kong tiyahin at pinagpapayuhan. Nakikinig ako ngunit hindi ko naman naiitindihan kung para saan ang mga sinasabi niya pero tumanim ito sa aking kamusmusan. Ang naaalala ko sa mga sinabi niya ay tungkol sa pagibig. Ang pagibig at pagmamahal sa isang tao ay maihahaling tulad sa isang itinanim na bulaklak. Alagaan mo, diligan mo, kausapin mo at pagaksayahan mo ng panahon upang yumabong ito. At pagdating ng tamang panahon, ito ay yayabong ng napakaganda. Paliwanag ni lola. Umiling lang ako at umalis na at nagpatuloy sa paglalaro tutal hindi ko rin naman maintindihan.
Sampung taon na ang lumipas at ipinadpad akong aking mga paa sa piling ng aking lola. “Natatandaan ninyo ba La ang mga sinabi niyo kay Tita tungkol sa pagibig?” Hindi siya umimik at nagpatuloy ako sa pagsasalita. Ibinalik ko sa kanyang alaala ang mga katagang binitiwan niya. Ngunit hindi pa rin siya umimik sa akin.
Hindi naman sa tumututol ako sa inyong konsepto ng pagibig ngunit para sa aking iba ang kahulugan nito. Pagpapaliwanag ko sa kanya. Para itong isang yosi. Matututunan mo habang lumalaki ka. Maiimluwensyihan ka ng mga taong nakapaligid sa iyo. Nakakaadik ito. Para sa akin, isa itong kasama, lalo na kapag malungkot ako... Kasama ko rin ito sa aking kasiyahan. Maraming nagbabawal na subukan ito dahil bandang huli hindi ito kayang iwasan. Ngunit mapilit ako. Hindi ba sabi nila kung alin ang bawal siyang masarap. Naging isa itong adiksyon para sa akin. Hinahanap hanap ko ito. Mula pagkagising hanggang sa pagpikit ng aking mga mata. Tuwing umaga ito ang bumubuhay sa aking dugo. Sa bawat pagsindi at paghithit ko nito ay nagbibigay ito ng lakas ng loob para harapin ang bawat pangyayari sa aking buhay. Itinatago ko ito dahil pangit nga naman tignan para sa isang babaeng katulad ko ang maging adik sa yosi. Pero hindi ko kaya. SInubukan kong tigilan. SInubukan kong iwasan. Pero mapaglaro ang tadhana. Kahit saan ako magpunta, kahit saan ako tumingin isa lang ang aking nakikita. Isang yosi na nakasindi at hinihithit ng isang nilalang. Tanga na kung tanga at bumalik ako sa dating nakagawian. Nakakamatay daw sabi nila pero isa na lang ang iniisip ko... Kung nakakamatay man ito, wala na akong pakialam. Kutyain na ako ng mga tao, husgahan na nila ako, sige lang. Dahil kung dumating ang panahon at hindi na ako makahinga sa binigay sa aking usok ng aking yosi, at binigyan ako ng sakit sa puso, sakit sa baga, siguro iyan ang panahon na magdedesisyon ako kung titigil na ako sa pagyoyosi o ipagpapatuloy ko ito. Pero sa ngayon hindi na muna. Sana maintindihan ninyo.
Pagtapos kong magpaliwanag nakatitig pa rin ako. Tumulo ang aking luha at wala akong nagawa kundi yakapin ang isang malamig na semento. Kung saan sampung taon nang tahanan ng aking lola. Ang kanyang libingan.
Sampung taon na ang lumipas at ipinadpad akong aking mga paa sa piling ng aking lola. “Natatandaan ninyo ba La ang mga sinabi niyo kay Tita tungkol sa pagibig?” Hindi siya umimik at nagpatuloy ako sa pagsasalita. Ibinalik ko sa kanyang alaala ang mga katagang binitiwan niya. Ngunit hindi pa rin siya umimik sa akin.
Hindi naman sa tumututol ako sa inyong konsepto ng pagibig ngunit para sa aking iba ang kahulugan nito. Pagpapaliwanag ko sa kanya. Para itong isang yosi. Matututunan mo habang lumalaki ka. Maiimluwensyihan ka ng mga taong nakapaligid sa iyo. Nakakaadik ito. Para sa akin, isa itong kasama, lalo na kapag malungkot ako... Kasama ko rin ito sa aking kasiyahan. Maraming nagbabawal na subukan ito dahil bandang huli hindi ito kayang iwasan. Ngunit mapilit ako. Hindi ba sabi nila kung alin ang bawal siyang masarap. Naging isa itong adiksyon para sa akin. Hinahanap hanap ko ito. Mula pagkagising hanggang sa pagpikit ng aking mga mata. Tuwing umaga ito ang bumubuhay sa aking dugo. Sa bawat pagsindi at paghithit ko nito ay nagbibigay ito ng lakas ng loob para harapin ang bawat pangyayari sa aking buhay. Itinatago ko ito dahil pangit nga naman tignan para sa isang babaeng katulad ko ang maging adik sa yosi. Pero hindi ko kaya. SInubukan kong tigilan. SInubukan kong iwasan. Pero mapaglaro ang tadhana. Kahit saan ako magpunta, kahit saan ako tumingin isa lang ang aking nakikita. Isang yosi na nakasindi at hinihithit ng isang nilalang. Tanga na kung tanga at bumalik ako sa dating nakagawian. Nakakamatay daw sabi nila pero isa na lang ang iniisip ko... Kung nakakamatay man ito, wala na akong pakialam. Kutyain na ako ng mga tao, husgahan na nila ako, sige lang. Dahil kung dumating ang panahon at hindi na ako makahinga sa binigay sa aking usok ng aking yosi, at binigyan ako ng sakit sa puso, sakit sa baga, siguro iyan ang panahon na magdedesisyon ako kung titigil na ako sa pagyoyosi o ipagpapatuloy ko ito. Pero sa ngayon hindi na muna. Sana maintindihan ninyo.
Pagtapos kong magpaliwanag nakatitig pa rin ako. Tumulo ang aking luha at wala akong nagawa kundi yakapin ang isang malamig na semento. Kung saan sampung taon nang tahanan ng aking lola. Ang kanyang libingan.
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nice post/thread ngayon ko lang na open to 
- Thread Starter
- #17
nice post/thread ngayon ko lang na open to
kuya CY!!!!! napadpad ka dito...
salamat sa pagbabasa...
tenk u tenk u....
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kuya CY!!!!! napadpad ka dito...
salamat sa pagbabasa...
tenk u tenk u....
kahit na malaki symbianize nakakagala pa din
- Thread Starter
- #19
kahit na malaki symbianize nakakagala pa din
oo nga di lang sa AZ... nyahahahhaha....
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