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As the title says, I need an advice.
On what?
Situation:
1.) I have a girlfriend for more than 1 year now. She was my bestfriend or should I say "Big Sis" beforehand. The reason we became together was because she was always there by my side during the times I was sad, down, and crying due to someone that I loved whom I'll introduce later. For some reason, when I started to court/date her friend, she fell in love with me. I had to choose between the two of them which led us being together. To cut the story short, she's the one who made me calm, peaceful, and content.
2.) I have a friend whom I dated/loved/cared for before. Now this friend of mine is really complicated. If anyone of you have seen the movie "100 Tula Para Kay Stella", I'm Fidel, and she's like 99% Stella, but somehow worse. She have big problems with her family, separated parents (Father in US with another partner, Mother in PH), her only younger brother died along with her hopes of curing/taking care of him; he's the reason she took up Nursing. She also have an obsessed Ex-BF that resulted into traumatic experiences for her. Her heart was broken repeatedly because she has trouble maintaining relationships.
Now this Girl no.2, for some reason, treated me as a special friend. It's like, she really trusted me with her secrets and the like. Even though she has a lot of friends to choose from, and from what I see, has spend a lot of fun times with others. And I don't really think I'm her closest friend or even bestfriend. Though we had good moments together before, which was ruined with all the problems she had to deal with her life and of course, her obsessed ex-BF. I was also really blinded by my own feelings at that time, in which led to her disappointment in me when I shared some of her secrets to our friends out of anger.
Problem:
Now, they don't invite me anymore to our "drinking sessions" together since I have a girlfriend who is not into those kind of things. But since I was the closest guy around, they invited me twice in those sessions. Now of course everyone will say, "Sus nakainom pala eh, wala lang yan. Drunk talk lang yan walang totoo dyan. Pag lasing, kung anu-ano sasabihin niyan." Well you see, I've seen and heard a lot of people venting out their feelings when they're drunk, they also call and text people whom they have pent-up feeling with too.
1.) The first drinking session was in our friend's dorm and was all about our another friend, except the time when I have to stay in a bathroom cuz my stomach was really irritated by alcohol at that time. She barged in the bathroom, asking if I was okay and everything. Then a minute or so later, she said something about me and my girlfriend like "Stay Strong sa inyo, pakatatag kayo.. She also told me na wag ko daw siyang gayahin at masira ang buhay mga ganun while crying. Then she told me more secret things about her life, and not to tell anyone else and that I'm the only person who knows this. To comfort her, I just hugged her then she went out. I also told my girlfriend about the events that happened during that night.
2.) Now, this one confused me the most. I was hanging out in my girlfriend's house when suddenly she called. She told me that our male friend has to burrow clothes from me urgently and I was closest one around. She was a bit surprised when I told her I was at my GF's home but I just told her I was also about to go home so I agreed to go and bring the requested clothes. To cut the story short, it ended up with her telling me almost all of her secrets in detail, all of her pent-up feelings from all the problems she had in life. At the same time she was also crying while telling me na susumbungin niya ako sa GF ko kasi di ako faithful/loyal mga ganun. She keeps insisting me to be loyal and not mind her all the time. All my other friends at that time passed out, leaving me and her alone throughout the night together.
Dito ko talaga siya nakilala ng buo. I mean, I already expected that she have a lot of problems in life, but not this severe. I can't help but feel like I have to do something to help her, not out of pity, but because I'm her friend. Now I don't want her, or myself to fall in love with her all over again because I already have my girlfriend, and I don't want to leave her just because of my friend.
I love my girlfriend, and I love my friend as a friend. And now I can't do anything useful to help her without me falling in love with her because it's also the reason why I loved her; I wanted to help her and make her feel loved. She has no bestfriend that I know of, and her parents have their own issues. I can't stand idle knowing that she could end her life anytime soon with all the things happening with her life.
As of now, I'm continuing my effort to reestablish me and my friend together again since we really don't talk much before cuz she's afraid that my GF might get mad at her and me.
Thoughts?
On what?
Situation:
1.) I have a girlfriend for more than 1 year now. She was my bestfriend or should I say "Big Sis" beforehand. The reason we became together was because she was always there by my side during the times I was sad, down, and crying due to someone that I loved whom I'll introduce later. For some reason, when I started to court/date her friend, she fell in love with me. I had to choose between the two of them which led us being together. To cut the story short, she's the one who made me calm, peaceful, and content.
2.) I have a friend whom I dated/loved/cared for before. Now this friend of mine is really complicated. If anyone of you have seen the movie "100 Tula Para Kay Stella", I'm Fidel, and she's like 99% Stella, but somehow worse. She have big problems with her family, separated parents (Father in US with another partner, Mother in PH), her only younger brother died along with her hopes of curing/taking care of him; he's the reason she took up Nursing. She also have an obsessed Ex-BF that resulted into traumatic experiences for her. Her heart was broken repeatedly because she has trouble maintaining relationships.
Now this Girl no.2, for some reason, treated me as a special friend. It's like, she really trusted me with her secrets and the like. Even though she has a lot of friends to choose from, and from what I see, has spend a lot of fun times with others. And I don't really think I'm her closest friend or even bestfriend. Though we had good moments together before, which was ruined with all the problems she had to deal with her life and of course, her obsessed ex-BF. I was also really blinded by my own feelings at that time, in which led to her disappointment in me when I shared some of her secrets to our friends out of anger.
Problem:
Now, they don't invite me anymore to our "drinking sessions" together since I have a girlfriend who is not into those kind of things. But since I was the closest guy around, they invited me twice in those sessions. Now of course everyone will say, "Sus nakainom pala eh, wala lang yan. Drunk talk lang yan walang totoo dyan. Pag lasing, kung anu-ano sasabihin niyan." Well you see, I've seen and heard a lot of people venting out their feelings when they're drunk, they also call and text people whom they have pent-up feeling with too.
1.) The first drinking session was in our friend's dorm and was all about our another friend, except the time when I have to stay in a bathroom cuz my stomach was really irritated by alcohol at that time. She barged in the bathroom, asking if I was okay and everything. Then a minute or so later, she said something about me and my girlfriend like "Stay Strong sa inyo, pakatatag kayo.. She also told me na wag ko daw siyang gayahin at masira ang buhay mga ganun while crying. Then she told me more secret things about her life, and not to tell anyone else and that I'm the only person who knows this. To comfort her, I just hugged her then she went out. I also told my girlfriend about the events that happened during that night.
2.) Now, this one confused me the most. I was hanging out in my girlfriend's house when suddenly she called. She told me that our male friend has to burrow clothes from me urgently and I was closest one around. She was a bit surprised when I told her I was at my GF's home but I just told her I was also about to go home so I agreed to go and bring the requested clothes. To cut the story short, it ended up with her telling me almost all of her secrets in detail, all of her pent-up feelings from all the problems she had in life. At the same time she was also crying while telling me na susumbungin niya ako sa GF ko kasi di ako faithful/loyal mga ganun. She keeps insisting me to be loyal and not mind her all the time. All my other friends at that time passed out, leaving me and her alone throughout the night together.
Dito ko talaga siya nakilala ng buo. I mean, I already expected that she have a lot of problems in life, but not this severe. I can't help but feel like I have to do something to help her, not out of pity, but because I'm her friend. Now I don't want her, or myself to fall in love with her all over again because I already have my girlfriend, and I don't want to leave her just because of my friend.
I love my girlfriend, and I love my friend as a friend. And now I can't do anything useful to help her without me falling in love with her because it's also the reason why I loved her; I wanted to help her and make her feel loved. She has no bestfriend that I know of, and her parents have their own issues. I can't stand idle knowing that she could end her life anytime soon with all the things happening with her life.
As of now, I'm continuing my effort to reestablish me and my friend together again since we really don't talk much before cuz she's afraid that my GF might get mad at her and me.
Thoughts?