Need advice since nalilito ako

[TheOverlyAttachedGuy]

Hi mga ka symb!

So I have a ka-talking stage right now and we have been talking for almost a month already. I think I have fallen for her and I already confessed that I do like her. Her reaction to my confession was not the usual reaction, hindi siya very reactive sa nalaman niya instead she just said with a playful tone "hahaha buang". So I assumed right then na she's also interested with me. But if I remember it correctly, she told me na these past few months nag sosocmed detox siya wherein for a few days or so, di siya nag checheck ng IG, FB, at messenger, but I think I did not asked more on that, parang ang naalala ko lang is gulong gulo daw isip niya and she has to reset every month. I did not asked her specific details baka kasi ma feel niya na nanghihimasok na ako sa buhay niya kahit we've only known each other for a few weeks. But We kept on talking after that - every day chats and telebabad for 2-4 hrs almost everyday. We also have met once, it was just a tambay at one of the highest point sa city and okay lang sa kanya na magka holding hands kami. A few days after that gala, I gave her something since palagi niya itong nababangit kapag nag-uusap kami sa phone. And to my surprise she sent me a message that she wants to give the gift back. She appreciates it naman daw and thankful and happy siya sa binagay ko but her past trauma triggered because of that - nasumbatan na daw siya dati sa mga bagay na binigay sa kanya kaya ngayon ayaw niyang makatanggap ng gifts from anyone. I respected her decision na man and I received the gift back.

Now the problem is, it has been 4 days since that happened. She hasn't replied to my messages yet, didn't answered any of my calls. So I thought baka nag sosocmed detox na siya but no, she viewed my IG story just a little while.

So my question now is, do you really think she's still interested with me? - I only assumed na she's interested with me because her actions says so. Also, do you think this is ghosting already?

Any advices on what can I do next? Gulong gulo na ako, puyat na puyat na ako kaka overthink...

 

[hbert001]

Are you open-minded? If so, you should ready even though it will not go on your side. You must understand that feelings change. Maybe there's a time that she thinks that she is interested in you but, as we are not living in the past, there's a high possibility that she has already lost interest in you. Did she view your story? Well, maybe she accidentally viewed it. The girl will always give you time even if she is busy, as long as she is interested in you. She gave you back what you gave her? It's s strong sign that she wants to get away from you, and there's also a high possibility that there is someone new she is interested in. You must accept that she has already lost interest in you and move on.

 

[TheOverlyAttachedGuy]

Are you open-minded? If so, you should ready even though it will not go on your side. You must understand that feelings change. Maybe there's a time that she thinks that she is interested in you but, as we are not living in the past, there's a high possibility that she has already lost interest in you. Did she view your story? Well, maybe she accidentally viewed it. The girl will always give you time even if she is busy, as long as she is interested in you. She gave you back what you gave her? It's s strong sign that she wants to get away from you, and there's also a high possibility that there is someone new she is interested in. You must accept that she has already lost interest in you and move on.

This is what I have been telling myself, but if you are also in my position, you can never do so until you are otherwise told, right?


She replied to my messages earlier and I called her. She told me that she did not replied due to personal problems and said sorry but did not specify what she is sorry about. Also, the call only lasted for about 5 minutes so I wasn't able to muster up the courage to ask her any more questions other than asking her if she's okay. I think I'll try again tomorrow.

Also, I remembered that she told me that she's only exchanging messages to me because she finds chatting a chore. So that makes me even more confused on my situation. I guess I'll just ask her upfront if ever I'll have the courage on doing so.

 

[hbert001]

This is what I have been telling myself, but if you are also in my position, you can never do so until you are otherwise told, right?


She replied to my messages earlier and I called her. She told me that she did not replied due to personal problems and said sorry but did not specify what she is sorry about. Also, the call only lasted for about 5 minutes so I wasn't able to muster up the courage to ask her any more questions other than asking her if she's okay. I think I'll try again tomorrow.

Also, I remembered that she told me that she's only exchanging messages to me because she finds chatting a chore. So that makes me even more confused on my situation. I guess I'll just ask her upfront if ever I'll have the courage on doing so.

It is hard to give up, but that's the right thing. Yeah, she only wants you in her boring time to entertain her. But, if you can't sustain the interest that she wants and there's a new person that gave that to her, it's finished. Girls won't tell directly that she loses interest in you cause they wouldn't want actually to hurt you. That's their nature, she doesn't want to owe you that's why she gave you back what you gave. And she will feel at ease that has no more obligations from you. All that she will say now are excuses and reasons, she wants no more attachment to you. It's a wrong idea that you will still pursue her, in the end, you yourself only will suffer if you can't handle that correctly.

 

[r a Z e]

I ^agree.

Besides, simplehan na lang natin – what she's doing to you, is something na hindi gawain ng isang taong may gusto sayo. The end. Now nasa sayo na lang din yan if you still want to pursue her, kulitin siya, OR, choose to move on instead para hindi masayang ang time and effort mo, para hindi ka na ma-stress pa sa kaka-overthink, para na rin sa welfare mo.

 

[TheOverlyAttachedGuy]

Thank you for the advices guys, I think I'll just ask her to talk with me and pour it all out para narin masagot yung mga katanungan ko sa isip ko. At least that way, I still tried in the end.

Again, thank you for opening my eyes, it seems na mali yung inakala ko. Cheers guys

 

[hbert001]

Thank you for the advices guys, I think I'll just ask her to talk with me and pour it all out para narin masagot yung mga katanungan ko sa isip ko. At least that way, I still tried in the end.

Again, thank you for opening my eyes, it seems na mali yung inakala ko. Cheers guys

I hope na bigyan ka nga niya ng closure, kasi ang totoo, almost lahat ng relasyon na nag-eend by "excuses", at problema nating mga lalaki 'yun kung pano intindihin ang ibig niyang sabihin. Bihirang-bihira magkaroon ng clousure sa malalim na relasyon kaya swerte mo kung bibigyan ka niya nun, but kung indirect ang sinasabi niya na something na para makaiwas siya, dapat ikaw na mismo ang umunawa kung ano ba talaga ang ibig niyang sabihin o gustong gawin. Kaya hindi rin ako nagbibigay ng advice sayo na para umasa ka pa dahil ayaw kong umasa ka dahil sa obvious naman ang sitwasyon niyo. Tandaan mo na pag-umayaw na ang babae sayo at hinabol ng hinabol mo pa, lalong wala ka na talagang mapapala, maiinis yan, maiirita hanggang sa ayaw ka na niyang i-welcome sa buhay niya, kahit kaibigan.

 

[TheOverlyAttachedGuy]

I hope na bigyan ka nga niya ng closure, kasi ang totoo, almost lahat ng relasyon na nag-eend by "excuses", at problema nating mga lalaki 'yun kung pano intindihin ang ibig niyang sabihin. Bihirang-bihira magkaroon ng clousure sa malalim na relasyon kaya swerte mo kung bibigyan ka niya nun, but kung indirect ang sinasabi niya na something na para makaiwas siya, dapat ikaw na mismo ang umunawa kung ano ba talaga ang ibig niyang sabihin o gustong gawin. Kaya hindi rin ako nagbibigay ng advice sayo na para umasa ka pa dahil ayaw kong umasa ka dahil sa obvious naman ang sitwasyon niyo. Tandaan mo na pag-umayaw na ang babae sayo at hinabol ng hinabol mo pa, lalong wala ka na talagang mapapala, maiinis yan, maiirita hanggang sa ayaw ka na niyang i-welcome sa buhay niya, kahit kaibigan.

Ang hirap din kasi mahagilap na magka-usap kami. Hindi always nagtutugma yung mga schedule namin. Pinapatay pa ako ng mandatory OT tas ganto pa sitwasyon ko hahaha, sakit sa banga tols.

Anyways, update ko nalang kayo dito anong mangyayari sa napakasaklap kong pagibig hahaha. Ngayon na nga lang na in love uli, ganto pa nangyari

 

[leonard1928]

Much better if you talk to her in person. Ask her directly para mawala yung agam agam mo. If may idea ka lang sana sa past nya and bakit ganyan ung mga actions nya mas makakapagconclude ka kaso open na ba siya sabihin sau lahat?hirap ng sitwasyon mo pre.

 

[iSpLak]

Focus on your love for her instead of her love for you sir. Is she's not meant for you then at least you still love her and nothing will change. If she loves you back then that's a bonus.
No disappointments either way. That, right there my friend is what love is all about. Giving ♥

 

[TheOverlyAttachedGuy]

Hi guys, an update:

As of today, we are in good terms na. I have opened up to her regarding my feelings even though I know na wala siyang responsibility to answer it. It appears na for the past few days na hindi siya nag rereply sakin is she's occupied with something personal. Nag open up naman siya sakin pero hindi pa full details, mamaya nalng daw yung full details if may courage na siya.

I asked her what she feels about me and she told me na she's comfortable with me, and that she enjoys our conversation as well as my company. So I think from that, I have a chance but as of now, I just want to help her with whatever it is that she is going through. After all, I want her to be happy. Even if pag ma ok na siya at hindi ako ang pinili niya, ok lang din at least I have helped her regain happiness in her life.

So, I guess that's all hahaha. Thank you so much guys sa mga comments niyo. I appreciate it

 

[hbert001]

Hi guys, an update:

As of today, we are in good terms na. I have opened up to her regarding my feelings even though I know na wala siyang responsibility to answer it. It appears na for the past few days na hindi siya nag rereply sakin is she's occupied with something personal. Nag open up naman siya sakin pero hindi pa full details, mamaya nalng daw yung full details if may courage na siya.

I asked her what she feels about me and she told me na she's comfortable with me, and that she enjoys our conversation as well as my company. So I think from that, I have a chance but as of now, I just want to help her with whatever it is that she is going through. After all, I want her to be happy. Even if pag ma ok na siya at hindi ako ang pinili niya, ok lang din at least I have helped her regain happiness in her life.

So, I guess that's all hahaha. Thank you so much guys sa mga comments niyo. I appreciate it

Hindi niya sinabi sayo ng deretso as expected. Talagang aasa at aasa ka talaga niyan. I think na-miss interpret mo ang sinabi niyang comfortable siya sayo at nag-eenjoy sa conversation niyo. Well, sana nga mali ako. Base sa pagkaintindi ko honestly, gusto niya ang company mo as a "friend", hindi lover. Ayaw niya mawala ang kaibigang tulad mo sa buhay niya kaya nilagay ka niya sa friend zone (friends forever). Iba kasi pag attraction ang nararamdaman ng babae. Sige, ganito nalang... Ano bang klase ang pinuproblema niya? Ang kitid ng utak niya kung di niya kaya mag-multi-tasking. Kung totoo man yan, you are already helping her na yun ang pwede niyang makuha sayo kahit hindi kayo. So, it's a win-win for her, pero prepare ka in advance para di ka gaano masaktan kung tama ang sinabi ko

 

[AwtsGege]

aba wag ka kagad bumitiw... baka naninigurado lang yan at tine test ka
.
wag ka mag-apura... kusa din lilinaw ang lahat

 

[louie_09]

from my point of view paps, malalaman mu kung interested siya sayo base sa mga conversation nyo at mga reaction nya sa mga bagay bagay, mahirap talagang basahin ang damdamin ng mga babae sadyang malalim hehe, gusto ka halimbawa pero dinaman basta aamin , o ayaw sayo di rin sasabihin, it takes time para malaman , maganda tanungin mu ano talaga ang real score friend lang ba talaga o lover...

 

[iSpLak]

Hi guys, an update:

As of today, we are in good terms na. I have opened up to her regarding my feelings even though I know na wala siyang responsibility to answer it. It appears na for the past few days na hindi siya nag rereply sakin is she's occupied with something personal. Nag open up naman siya sakin pero hindi pa full details, mamaya nalng daw yung full details if may courage na siya.

I asked her what she feels about me and she told me na she's comfortable with me, and that she enjoys our conversation as well as my company. So I think from that, I have a chance but as of now, I just want to help her with whatever it is that she is going through. After all, I want her to be happy. Even if pag ma ok na siya at hindi ako ang pinili niya, ok lang din at least I have helped her regain happiness in her life.

So, I guess that's all hahaha. Thank you so much guys sa mga comments niyo. I appreciate it

Good for you sir! Positibo lang. Wish you all the best.

 

[r a Z e]

Hi guys, an update:

As of today, we are in good terms na. I have opened up to her regarding my feelings even though I know na wala siyang responsibility to answer it. It appears na for the past few days na hindi siya nag rereply sakin is she's occupied with something personal. Nag open up naman siya sakin pero hindi pa full details, mamaya nalng daw yung full details if may courage na siya.

I asked her what she feels about me and she told me na she's comfortable with me, and that she enjoys our conversation as well as my company. So I think from that, I have a chance but as of now, I just want to help her with whatever it is that she is going through. After all, I want her to be happy. Even if pag ma ok na siya at hindi ako ang pinili niya, ok lang din at least I have helped her regain happiness in her life.

So, I guess that's all hahaha. Thank you so much guys sa mga comments niyo. I appreciate it

That's nice. Di ko man siya nasabi before dun sa reply ko pero reading this now, medyo tama din talaga yung hinala ko at first na there really was something that's stopping her from being fully attached/committed to you. Pwedeng sabihin na oo, baka di ka lang niya talaga type at gumagawa lang siya ng excuses, pero sa kabilang banda, kumbaga based on my POV para kasing may "baggage" din siya eh na kelangan niya munang ayusin before she even starts to welcome someone in her life...parang ganun din yung vibe niya sakin based on your story. Pero overall ang importante lang naman talaga dyan is wag ka masyado mag-expect para di ka rin masyadong masaktan if ever dumating yung time na mali nga yung mga assumptions mo.

As of right now, just try your best to be a good friend to her

 

[TheOverlyAttachedGuy]

Hindi niya sinabi sayo ng deretso as expected. Talagang aasa at aasa ka talaga niyan. I think na-miss interpret mo ang sinabi niyang comfortable siya sayo at nag-eenjoy sa conversation niyo. Well, sana nga mali ako. Base sa pagkaintindi ko honestly, gusto niya ang company mo as a "friend", hindi lover. Ayaw niya mawala ang kaibigang tulad mo sa buhay niya kaya nilagay ka niya sa friend zone (friends forever). Iba kasi pag attraction ang nararamdaman ng babae. Sige, ganito nalang... Ano bang klase ang pinuproblema niya? Ang kitid ng utak niya kung di niya kaya mag-multi-tasking. Kung totoo man yan, you are already helping her na yun ang pwede niyang makuha sayo kahit hindi kayo. So, it's a win-win for her, pero prepare ka in advance para di ka gaano masaktan kung tama ang sinabi ko

As of now sir parang hindi mali pagkaka interpret ko regarding dun sa comfortable siya. I asked her if she's talking with other guys and she told me and then promised me na wala daw, kasi hassle daw sa part niya yon, dami niyang inintindi tapos marami pa siyang ine entertain. Parang she gave me an assurance na ako lang kausap niya and she did told me na she want's to know me better. So I believe she's already interested na.

Update lang din ngayon, nag open up na siya sakin regarding dun sa baggage niya and napaka lalim. Hindi siya basta basta ma tataken lightly. Ayoko lang magbigay ng details pero I was shocked and it rendered me speechless. It was something I didn't expect, so ganun yung reaction ko.

Post automatically merged: Apr 11, 2022

That's nice. Di ko man siya nasabi before dun sa reply ko pero reading this now, medyo tama din talaga yung hinala ko at first na there really was something that's stopping her from being fully attached/committed to you. Pwedeng sabihin na oo, baka di ka lang niya talaga type at gumagawa lang siya ng excuses, pero sa kabilang banda, kumbaga based on my POV para kasing may "baggage" din siya eh na kelangan niya munang ayusin before she even starts to welcome someone in her life...parang ganun din yung vibe niya sakin based on your story. Pero overall ang importante lang naman talaga dyan is wag ka masyado mag-expect para di ka rin masyadong masaktan if ever dumating yung time na mali nga yung mga assumptions mo.

As of right now, just try your best to be a good friend to her

Yes, buti na nga lang hindi ako nag give up agad kasi pag ganun na yung sitwasyon, mostly bumibitaw na ako, pero kasi iba tong si ate girl niyo hahaha. Medyo iba tama ko dito. Pero so far, super wholesome lang ng conversations namin and with a little flirting on the side. Parang pang kiliti pa na stage hahaha, hindi rin naman ako nagmamadali kasi I believe she's worth the wait.

For the baggage part naman, medyo ayoko manghimasok as of now dun kasi super sensitive, but I constantly give her assurance and word of affirmations na I'll always be there for her.

 

[hbert001]

As of now sir parang hindi mali pagkaka interpret ko regarding dun sa comfortable siya. I asked her if she's talking with other guys and she told me and then promised me na wala daw, kasi hassle daw sa part niya yon, dami niyang inintindi tapos marami pa siyang ine entertain. Parang she gave me an assurance na ako lang kausap niya and she did told me na she want's to know me better. So I believe she's already interested na.

Update lang din ngayon, nag open up na siya sakin regarding dun sa baggage niya and napaka lalim. Hindi siya basta basta ma tataken lightly. Ayoko lang magbigay ng details pero I was shocked and it rendered me speechless. It was something I didn't expect, so ganun yung reaction ko.

Post automatically merged: Apr 11, 2022

Yes, buti na nga lang hindi ako nag give up agad kasi pag ganun na yung sitwasyon, mostly bumibitaw na ako, pero kasi iba tong si ate girl niyo hahaha. Medyo iba tama ko dito. Pero so far, super wholesome lang ng conversations namin and with a little flirting on the side. Parang pang kiliti pa na stage hahaha, hindi rin naman ako nagmamadali kasi I believe she's worth the wait.

For the baggage part naman, medyo ayoko manghimasok as of now dun kasi super sensitive, but I constantly give her assurance and word of affirmations na I'll always be there for her.

Well, good for you... Akala ko kasi kung totoo man, maaring oo, may pag-asa ka pero hindi ka 1st option. Alam naman natin pag hindi priority maghihintay ka talaga, tapos pagbumalik ang priority o kung may nakilalang much better, wala ka na naman.

Tips: anytime pwede magbago ang isip ng babae kaya kung talagang may pag-asa ka, di mo sure pagready na siya iba narin pala gusto niya

Diba nga, mahirap intindihin ang mga babae, walang assurance, assurance kung may manligaw diyan na tingin niya much better pagready na siya

 

[Arthur Leywin]

All in all, naging paranoid ka lang pala. Nasa getting to know each other stage pa lang naman kayo so don't rush things. Once na maramdaman niyang apurado ka, baka putulin niya ugnayan niyo.

 

[aloevin27]

Good step yan na alam nya yung true intention mo. But still hindi naman ganun ka bilis yan and you should work for it dadating din ang time na mag bubunga ang effort mo or hihinto ka na lng dahil hindi mo na naantay.