Serial Story My Band-aid Heart

CHAPTER 1

I look at the picture of the happy couple, drenched in tears – my tears. I cry for the happy faces on smiling back at me, I touch the face of the woman who thought she held the hand of the man who will be with her forever. The one who will finally make her dreams come true. The one who will promise her the life she wishes for, the life she deserves. I hold the pictures tight in my hand and put them over my heart; I raise my head to the sky and cry. Cry for the year I have spent loving this man, cry for the ‘almosts’ we didn’t have and cry for myself because now I have to go out there again, into the big, bad world, bruised and broken.

“Whyyyy???!!!!”

I knelt to the dirt and yelled, “Whyyy???!!!”



“Lintek ang ingay mo!” Ang lakas ng batok sa akin ng Tita ko, muntik na akong sumubsob sa basurahan namin.

“Aray naman, chang.” Humihikbi hikbi pa ako at nagpupunas ng luha. Pinagdadampot ko ang mga nahulog na pictures namin ng “mahal” kong si Kenneth.

“G***, istorbo ka sa pinapanuod ko e, para kang baboy na kinakatay jan.” Hinatak ni chang ang braso ko at pilit akong itinayo.

“Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko sayong babae ka, isosoli kita sa inyo e.” Bigla naman akong natauhan.

“Wag naman po, chang. E alam nyo naman ako gusto ko talaga maging artista mula nung bata ako kaya ganito lang ako, pagpasensyahan nyo na po ako.” Tinry kong ngumiti kahit na pilit na pilit. Ayoko namang bumalik sa probinsya namin, lahat ng lalaki dun nakita akong walang salawal mula pagkabata, paano naman ako makakahanap dun ng boyfriend na seseryosohin ako?

“Oh sya, iligpit mo na yan. Ano bang gagawin mo jan sa mga pictures na yan? May pakandi-kandila ka pa, baka makasunog ka na naman dito sa bahay talagang papalayasin na kita!” Sobra naman, isang beses lang yun e tsaka bata pa ako nun, sabi kasi ng mga kaibigan ko pag nakuha ko raw ang picture ng crush ko dasalan ko sa tapat ng kandila ng alas-12 ng hatinggabi at kinabukasan papansinin na nya ako, malay ko bang hahanginin yung kurtina at tatamaan yung kandila diba?

“Opo, mag-iingat naman po ako chang, wag na po kayo magalit. Pasok na kayo sa bahay, baka matapos na yung pinapanood nyo.” Tinulak ko ang likod ni chang ng onti para iwan na nya akong mag-isa at matapos ko na ang ritwal ko.

Pinulot ko ang mga pictures namin ni Kenneth na halos maubos na ang sweldo ko kakaprint galing sa cellphone ko, para lang punitin ang sunugin. Baliw na nga yata talaga ako.

Sumilip muna ako sa likod ko para siguraduhing wala na si chang, at nagbalik sa pag-iiyak sa mga alaala namin ni Kenneth. Tiningnan ko ang mga pictures namin habang isa isang sinusunog, para hindi magalit si chang bumulong na lang ako, “T******* mo kasi e. G*** ka, bakit mo ko pinag-palit?”

“Sana tubuan ka ng mga kurikong sa mukha, hayup ka.” Hinahaplos haplos ko pa ang mukha ni Kenneth sa picture. Hindi ko alam kung isusumpa ko sya or itetext ko ulit baka sakaling magkabalikan pa kami.

Tinuktok ko ang kamay ko sa ulo ko, “G***. G*** ka, wag nang umasa! Tama na ang ilang linggong pakikipag-balikan, move on na. Move on na!”

Nakakahiya mang aminin, pagdating sa pag-ibig wala ako masyadong pride. Wala sa bokabularyo ko yun. Ilang beses man akong itakwil ni Kenneth, dinodoble ko ang efforts ko para makausap sya, hanggang sa i-block na nya ako sa Facebook at nagpalit na rin sya ng number nya. Saklap.

Isa isa ko nang hinagis ang pictures namin sa apoy. Kailangan mawala lahat ito kundi hindi ako makaka-move on. Hindi ko kaya.

At syempre parte na ng ritwal ko ang umiyak habang isinusumpa sa mga kalangitan na may makikita akong iba. Na magiging masaya rin ako someday. At alam ko ibibigay yan sa akin ni Lord, dahil mabuti naman akong tao. Malandi lang, pero mabuti.

Nang maubos ko na ang pictures, hinawakan ko ang dibdib ko sa ibabaw ng puso ko at sinabing, “Hindi lang ikaw ang lalaki sa mundo, Kenneth at tapos na akong umiyak dahil sayo. Makikita mo, makakahanap rin ako ng lalaking karapat dapat sa pagmamahal na maibibigay ko.”

Pinanood ko nang lamunin ng apoy ang mga pictures namin ni Kenneth. Last day na today ha, Olga. Tomorrow is a new day and tomorrow you’ll be a free woman. Free ka na ulet.

Napaiyak ulet ako, "Bwisit na luha to, ayaw maubos. Hay!” Tama na.

“Tama na.”

Last hingang malalim at pumasok na ako sa loob ng bahay.

Dumerecho na ako sa kwarto ko at nahiga sa kama, nakatingin sa kisame. Bukas, lagi namang may bukas. Hindi pa nauubos ang pagkakataon mo. Mag-25 ka pa lang, bata ka pa at marami pang lalaki jan. Hindi pa naman naubos ni Kenneth ang bango mo, buti na lang hindi ka naanakan nung lokong yun.

Bukas, kailangan maging normal ka na, hindi na natutuwa sayo ang mga kaibigan mo masyado ka nang ma-drama.

Pinunasan ko ulit ang mga luha ko, at pumikit na.

Patulog na ako nang biglang dumagungdong ang boses ni chang sa loob ng bahay…

“OLGA ANDREA! HINDI MO NA NAMAN PINATAY ANG KANDILA!”

 

[zeus001]

anu na july 1 na beshie!!!!!!


bitin na bitin wanna know how it plays anak ng pating bigla ako naka relate paki bilisan teh

hahahhahahahagaggaa

 

[sakura07]

anu na july 1 na beshie!!!!!!


bitin na bitin wanna know how it plays anak ng pating bigla ako naka relate paki bilisan teh

hahahhahahahagaggaa

Sorry na guys. Bawi ako mamaya. Busy lang today. hehe

- - - Updated - - -

CHAPTER 42

Hindi naman ako baguhan sa heartbreak, lahat na yata ng klase ng pagbbreak naranasan ko na.

Breakup number one: Nung high school yung boyfriend ko bigla na lang hindi na pumasok, nung nagtanong tanong ako sa mga classmates namin nag-transfer na pala ng school. Nang-iwan na lang basta basta at kinailangan kong mag-move on ng puro why why ang questions and I learned at an early age na ang closure nanggagaling rin sa taong naiwan – minsan kasi kailangan mong tanggapin na lang na walang closure na magaganap na pareho kayong willing participants.

Break up number two: Nung college, yung boyfriend ko nachichismis na nambababae, pero syempre dahil inlababo ako hindi ako nakinig sa mga kaibigan kong sinasabi sa aking gago yung jowa ko. Nagpakatanga pero in the end, pinalitan pa rin nung babaeng ginamit nya to cheat on me. Nagpaka-martir na iniwan pa rin. Natutunan ko dun na kahit anong bait mo at kahit anong sakripisyo, love is fleeting and that sometimes it really is not you, it’s him.

Break up number three: Yung first boyfriend ko nung nag-start na akong mag-work. Nagmahal ako ng tunay, binigay ko na lahat so akala ko enough na, yun pala hindi naman ako talaga ang gusto nya – I was just the convenient choice habang inaantay niya yung talagang gusto niya.

Minsan dahil sa dami ng pinag-daanan natin sa buhay, nagiging bulag na tayo pag may dumating na tama para sa atin. We immediately work out the ways kung paano sya mag-fe-fail without giving it our all. So we guard our hearts and fail to see that theirs were right there in front of us and that they are giving us the opportunity to claim it but instead we ignore it and choose to think that because we’ve been left so many times that we are not worthy of that kind of love and sacrifice.

Na ako, si Olga Andrea Martinez dahil ‘damaged’ na from my previous relationships, that anything good that comes my way must not be real.

If that’s the case, then why am I crying so much and feeling so hurt from something that was not real?

These are the thoughts that are on my mind habang nagb-byahe papunta ng office on this rainy Monday morning.

Parang nakisama sa pagka-gloomy ng feelings ko ang panahon.

I stare outside the window ng van na sinakyan ko and think of how I will get through the day. There’s still heaviness in the pit of my stomach while I’m walking through the doors of our building, I keep my head down pagpasok ko ng elevator and hope to God that I don’t run into anyone I know kasi I won’t be able to muster enough strength to pretend that I’m fine.

I get off the elevator and walk silently to my work station; some people say ‘good morning’ but I don’t respond, I hope they see the earphones I have on and just assume that I’m listening to something na I didn’t hear them.

I sit on my chair and see the table full of documents and I realize that gone are days where I will get to my cubicle and see fresh flowers, chocolates or packed food. I take in a deep breath and barely keep the tears from falling.

Wag dito, Olga. Kaya mo yan.

I boot up my computer and prepare myself for a very productive day – that’s the only thing I should do right now.


***


“Andi.” I wince and look back at my boss, “Yes ma’am?”

She looks worried and asks, “Have you had lunch yet? Hindi ka pa yata kumakain.”

Nginitian ko lang sya, “I’m fine ma’am. I had a heavy breakfast.”

Mukhang di nya ako pinaniwalaan, so she says, “Are you sure? You don’t look like your usual cheerful self.” She tilts her head to the side as she studies me, “Is there something wrong?”

Alam mo yung pag naiiyak ka na tapos may biglang magtatanong sayo kung okay ka lang? Imbes na makatulong, lalong nakakalala ng sitwasyon kasi maiiyak ka na talaga. I hold back my tears and look to my laptop while answering her, “I’m fine. Just one of those days ma’am.”

She’s quiet but I don’t look back at her then she sighs, “Okay. Just let me know if you need anything.”

I nod.

That was pretty much all the interaction we have before she leaves at the end of the work day.

When the office was almost empty, I packed my things and left. Umalis na si Ms. Claire and before she left she asked me to leave na rin pero I can’t face anyone yet. Baka may makasalubong pa ako so I just stayed.

Mejo lightheaded na ako pagbangon ko, halos wala akong kinain maghapon except for the crackers and the banana na dinala ni Jem sa office ko during lunch break. Nagpunta sila ni Cherrie to check on me but I just ignored them and said marami akong naiwang trabaho kaya hindi ko naalalang kumain.
They knew I was lying.

On shaky legs I walk to the elevator, close the door and leave the office just the way I wanted to and deserved – all alone.


***


“Girl, hindi na healthy yan.” Sabi ni Cherrie habang inaabot sa akin ang dala nilang sandwich ni Jem.

“I’m fine. Busy lang.” Sagot ko naman habang kinukuha ang inabot nyang pagkain.

Umupo si Jem sa table ko, “Mag-drama ka kasi, mas nakakatakot yang silent grieving na ginagawa mo.”

And that’s exactly what this is – grieving. Tatlong araw na akong pumapasok sa office pero parang hindi pa rin nag-no-normalize ang buhay ko, I’m just quietly existing pero not really living life just yet.

I shoo them away, “Sige na. Mag-lunch na kayo, I’ll be fine. Thanks for the sandwich.”

Tumayo si Jem pero dinuro ako, “Hoy, kainin mo yan ha.”

I nod, “Thanks bes.”

I spend a few hours working then my alarm beeps signaling me to get my boss’ three o’clock coffee fix. So tumayo ako at kinuha ang coffee mug ni Ms. Claire. I walk through the office and I noticed na people were looking at me. But I brushed it off kasi alam mo yung feeling na ang daming nakatingin sayo when you’re either in your best outfit or if you’re not looking well put together. I’m thinking I’m the latter.

I sigh and go to the pantry para mag-lagay ng coffee sa mug ni ma’am, when I’m done I walk back out and it’s like I’m in a dream na lahat ng tao nakatingin sa akin, because literally, everyone’s looking at me.

I shrugged it off and keep walking pabalik ng office ko, kamamadali ko I almost ran into someone from accounting, I muttered a “Sorry” pero sya ni hindi manlang nag-apologize. Gago yun ah.

I kept moving forward pero talagang nakatingin ang mga officemates ko sa akin, openly gawking at me right now. So I sat back in my chair and checked how I looked. Bukod sa kailangan ko nang magsuklay at magpa-charge ng excess baggage dahil sa eyebags ko, I look normal naman. I looked down on my clothes and see na wala namang kakaiba sa akin.

Wala lang siguro, mga weird lang tong officemates ko.

I stood up and went to Ms. Claire’s office, she’s talking to someone on the phone so I put her coffee on her desk.

I went out again and see Jem walking purposedly papunta sa akin, I ask “Bakit?”

He doesn’t stop and drags me by the arm palayo sa floor namin on to the stairwell.

He looks straight at me and I see worry in his eyes, “Bakit Jem?”

Hinawakan nya ang mga braso ko and tells me, “Friend, don’t freak out okay? It’s going to be fine. Hindi kita papabayaan okay?”

Imbes na makatulong lalo akong nag-panic, “Ano bang sinasabi mo? What’s going on?”

He sighs and pulls out his phone, “I just saw this today. Malamang di mo pa nakikita to sa email mo.”

Nag-pindot-pindot sya sa phone nya then he hands it to me, “It’s going to be fine. I’m here okay?”

Mejo nanginginig pa ang kamay ko nang tinanggap ko ang cellphone ni Jem.

Then I saw it and it immediately made sense why ganun na lang ako tingnan ng mga officemates ko.

It’s a bit dark but you can just make out the two faces in the picture – it’s me and Chuck that night kissing in the cabana.

 

[itsjaqen]

nakanang! may sniper! este may paparazzi! si may to, hindi ako pwede magkamali! hahaha anyways salamat sa pagpost kahit alam naming napakabusy mo TS. aabangan namen sunod

 

[sakura07]

nakanang! may sniper! este may paparazzi! si may to, hindi ako pwede magkamali! hahaha anyways salamat sa pagpost kahit alam naming napakabusy mo TS. aabangan namen sunod

With the technology nowadays, dali nang maging asyumero at asyumera. Madali nang manira ng reputasyon ng iba with just one click.

- - - Updated - - -

CHAPTER 43

Do you remember getting bullied in school? Nung bata ako puro tuksuhan ang ginagawa ng classmates ko and looking back on it now I’m realizing that being bullied in school is way different than being bullied as an adult. When you’re kids you usually bully someone dahil sa itsura nila, or their preference or dahil sa ginawa nila. But when you’re an adult, it’s more personal, kasi people tend to get to know you more and the more they know you, the more they can hit you where it hurts.

At ngayon? Sa pagkakataong ito? Sobrang sakit.

I haven’t left the stairwell kung saan ako iniwan ni Jem para ipagpaalam na uuwi na muna ako. I’m still in shock, I’m still holding on to Jem’s phone looking at the picture.

The picture was sent through the email addresses of all employees sa office namin. So that’s why everyone was looking at me funny all of a sudden.

Okay lang sana kung yung picture eh, I could have easily said na kami na talaga and that would have been the end of it. But the caption of the photo was just so damaging na hindi ko alam kung makakabangon pa ako or kung may maniniwala ba sa akin kung magpaliwanag ako.

The caption reads: “She got what she paid for. #Bewareofsnakes”

Imagine re-living a moment in your life na super saya mo, then people go and taint that memory with a very bad interpretation of what really happened.

I’m caught between a rock and a hard place – on one hand I can own up to it, pero who would believe me now? Pwede naman na aminin ko nalang pero it would have been so much better if I had Chuck on my side. Ngayon? Hindi ko kayang harapin ito ng mag-isa.

I look at our picture and for the first time in three days, napaiyak ulit ako.

I put my hands over my face and let myself cry again kasi akala ko tapos na. Akala ko sukdulan na ang sakit ng nangyari pero hindi pa pala, gusto talaga akong subukan kung hanggang saan ako pwedeng mag-bend bago ako tuluyang mag-break.

I hear footsteps pero hindi ako kumibo, if si Jem yan alam nya naman kung bakit ako umiiyak. Kung ibang tao naman, I’ve lost the will to pretend that I’m fine. At this point, I don’t really care what they think.

The footsteps stop and I try to stop sobbing. Kaya lang wala eh, alam mo yung pag nag-pipigil ka ng iyak lalo kang humihikbi.

May naramdaman ako sa likod ng mga kamay ko so sumilip ako, at may nakita akong panyo. I take the handkerchief and look down. I see shoes – awfully familiar shoes and I sigh.

He sighs.

“I’m going to find out who did this.” Chuck says and I bit back another cry kasi I’ve missed his voice. My heart aches again sa fierceness ng mga salita nya.

I just sigh and use his hanky to wipe my face.

I always think of things I could have said bago sya lumakad palayo sa akin nung gabing huli kami mag-usap, pero ngayon parang there’s so much I want to say pero I don’t know the right words or where to start.

I wipe the tears off my face pero when I look up at him, he’s gone.

Mag-isa na ako sa stairwell but I am left with a sense of hope.

So I gather my courage and stand up. I feel some sort of calm now that I know he still cares enough na he came here to say something – whatever his reasons may be.

I wipe the tears off my face, keep my chin up and walked to the door back to the floor of my office.


***

Akala ko matapang na ako, na kaya kong harapin ang mga judgemental kong mga officemates. Pero pag pinag-bubulungan ka na, and you hear “slut” said behind your back it still stings kahit hindi totoo.

I just pray for strength to get through this day.

Someone from Marketing comes up to my cubicle and I give her a fake smile, “Yes?”

She gives me a shy smile and says, “So… How was it? Is he, you know?” Parang nag-me-measure sya gesturing with her hands and I just snap.

I stand up, look at her directly and say, “Are you seriously asking me that?” I look around the expectant faces of my officemates, siguro they’re thinking I’m going to lose my shit right here and they can blog about it, post it on Facebook or something.

I take a deep breath and address everyone, “My private life is nobody’s business but mine. I don’t owe anyone any explanations…” I look at the girl who had the audacity to ask me such a malicious question, “…And I don’t know if you do it, but I have respect for other people that I never ask them anything that would make them feel uncomfortable especially kung hindi naman kami close.”

I sat back down and keep working.

The girl leaves my cubicle and mutters “bitch” under her breath.

Konti na lang talaga buti na lang nakapagpigil ako sa pagsigaw ng “Sa labas na lang tayo ano? Matapang ka ha!”

“Andi.” I swing my chair around and see Ms. Claire looking right at me.

I bit my lip.

“Come in my office.” She says then leaves the door open.

Jusme, ano pa bang mangyayari ngayong araw na ito?

I fix my dress and walk inside her office, closing the door behind me.

Nakatingin lang sya sa akin and she gestures for me to sit.

I sit down and brace myself for what she’s about to say.

She crosses her arms over her chest and she says, “Someone must really dislike you for this to happen.”

I look at her and see na hindi naman sya galit so I take a deep breath and tell her the truth, “To be honest ma’am, I think the only person who has the right to hate me is in this room.”

She tilts her head to the side, “Me? Why would I hate you?”

I give her a sad smile, “I lied to you. Like, sobrang daming beses I can’t even count how many times.”

She sighs, “Contrary to what you think of me, I’m not a hateful person.”

I lean forward para mag-apologize since I know I sort of implied na sya yung nagpakalat nung picture, but she waves her hand, “No need to apologize. I’m not offended.”

She takes a deep breath and with her voice full of authority she says, “We are trying to find out who did this. Regardless of who it was about, it’s definitely a violation of Company Policies. Someone will pay for this.”

I keep quiet and just stare at her, she says, “Are you okay?”

I fight back the tears and through blurry eyes tell her, “I’ll be fine ma’am.”

Her face softens and she sighs. Napailing na lang sya habang sinasabing, “People can be cruel.”

I scoff, “Yup.”

I sigh and look at her, “But I feel like I deserve it.”

She smiles at me sadly, “I’d like to think heartbreak is enough punishment for you lying to me.”

She knows. Of course she knows. Sabi ko nga, she’s a smart woman.

She leans forward and says, “Nobody deserves to have their private life publicized and debased like that.”

I shrug, “Wala naman ako magagawa ma’am. People can say what they want; what matters is that I know the truth behind the picture.”

She waves her hand, “People are idiots, it’s clear that the kiss happened before the bidding.”

I take deep breath and take the opportunity to ask her, “When did you find out? About us?”

She grins, “I’ve always known. I’m not an idiot.”

Confused I ask again, “Even before nyo ako kuning assistant?”

She nods, “It’s my office I know all the gossip around here.” She rolls her eyes, “Even the ones I don’t want to know about.”

Tumayo sya at lumipat sya sa chair sa tapat ko, “I’ve known about you and I hired you as my assistant coz I was curious. But I was pleasantly surprised because you were very professional and you helped me in so many ways, so even if I had a bit of a personal reason for hiring you, it was your talent and professionalism that kept you around.”

And just like that, something in my life was right again.

People can be cruel, yes but Ms. Claire gives me hope that some of them aren’t so bad.

 

[itsjaqen]

With the technology nowadays, dali nang maging asyumero at asyumera. Madali nang manira ng reputasyon ng iba with just one click.

Agree ako jan. relatable in fact at ang sarap nilang ibaon sa lupa kung may pagkakataon hahaha anyway, setting that aside..pasado si ms. claire ah haha professional af matalino nga naman character nya hehe. salamat sa update TS. more updates to come

 

[zeus001]

holy crap!!!!!!!

i guessed claire was bright but not THAT bright

papatayuan ko siya ng monumento gawa sa patatas sa monumento!!!!!

 

[10reason]

pa marka muna

busy pa ko sa update nung story na matagal di naupdate

 

[sakura07]

Agree ako jan. relatable in fact at ang sarap nilang ibaon sa lupa kung may pagkakataon hahaha anyway, setting that aside..pasado si ms. claire ah haha professional af matalino nga naman character nya hehe. salamat sa update TS. more updates to come

Diba? May mga mababait pa ring tao sa mundo. hehehe

- - - Updated - - -

CHAPTER 44

We had a good talk about everything that happened. Ms. Claire was very kind and understanding about my situation.

I knew things would not magically change so every day the rest of that week I kept my head down and suffered through judgemental stares, name calling at murmurs sa office na I knew was about me. There was also a group in Facebook dedicated to making memes about the picture and may mga nabuo pang kwento about it. I don't check my Facebook anymore since asar lang ang nakukuha ko dun – puro parinig sa mga taong walang lakas ng loob to tell what they think about me straight to my face.

Talk about double standards, ang mga babae sa akin lang nagalit, pero ang guys they look at Chuck as the ladies man kasi mag-amo yung 'natuhog' nya. Idiots.

Chuck and I haven't talked again, hindi ko na rin sya ulit nakita sa office. It's better na rin this way, since Ms. Claire and I are just starting to become friends – for real this time and I kind of want to steer clear of any issues.

The following Monday I was going to the pantry to get some coffee para kay Ms. Claire, when I hear some girls talking inside. I stopped by the door.

"...She must be crazy..." Some girl says.

"She's an idiot. I mean, sino ba namang nasa tamang pag-iisip na makikipag-kaibigan sa umagaw sa boyfriend mo diba?" Another girl responds.

"I heard they broke up ni Sir because she got pregnant and the family didn't approve of Sir kasi nga rank and file lang sya, so she had an abortion..." Another one says.

My mouth was hanging open as I was listening to the dumb things they were saying. I shake my head in disgust.

Some girl inside says, "OMG, how can we follow someone like that diba? How can you expect her to run the Company if yung sarili nyang buhay hindi nya nga kayang patakbuhin ng maayos? She should fire that girl to teach people na hindi sya dapat niloloko."

They all whisper their agreements, one of them says, "Tsk. She's going to let people walk all over her and her family's name if she doesn't do anything about this."

I walk back to my work station and mull over their conversation. Although sobrang labo ng mga chismis na pinag-usapan nila at walang bahid katotohanan, there's one thing that struck true – I did sort of ruin Ms. Claire's reputation. She looks weak now and it looks as if she's not doing anything to remedy the situation.

I bite my lip and think of the best way to stop this. But that's the thing, for as long as people see us, they will never let it go. Paano na ang mga Company functions? How will Ms. Claire be seen as? Anong kailangan nyang gawin to gain back the respect of her employees?

At the start of all of this, she has always been seen as just the daughter of the owner – lucky girl since kahit hindi sya magaling she'll still inherit the company. I know she wants to change that perception of her and I'm here ruining all of her hard work because I hooked up with her ex boyfriend. Shit.

As her friend, I knew what to do so I get to work.

***

"What's the meaning of this?" Ms. Claire storms out of her office and hands me the envelope I left at her table at the end of the work day.

I sigh and look at her, "Pwede po sa office nyo tayo mag-usap ma'am?"

She huffs then goes back to her office, I close the door behind me and take a seat on her visitor's chair, "I've decided to explore other job opportunities, ma'am."

She leans back on her chair, "Is this payback for me not telling you I knew about you and Chuck? Coz let me tell you, tit and tat is not a game I want to play."

I grin at her, "No ma'am. Hindi po yun. This is me trying to do the most unselfish thing I can do in this situation."

She shakes her head, "You don't need to do this."

I nod, "Yes I do. It's the best thing I can think of para matapos na ang lahat ng ito, I don't think they will stop at just this. Tsaka ma'am, I've done so much mistakes in the past couple of weeks. Let me make amends."

She shakes her head, "This is not the answer, Andi."

She stands up, "I'm have this thing next week diba? I'm leaving for Australia, so just take the week off na rin. Think about it and we'll talk when I get back okay?"

I stand up rin and she pushes me out the door, "Just don't make rash decisions." She shuts the door.

I'm dismissed.

***

"Resign talaga? Kailangan ba yan bes? They'll get over it soon, don't worry." Sabi ni Jem habang umiinom ng malamig na malamig nyang beer.

I nod at him, "Oo nga lilipas yan, pero yung impression that they've made kay Ms. Claire forever na yun. And as long as I am there hindi makakabawi si Ms. Claire at hindi na rin malilinis yung pangalan nya – she'll forever linked with the issues about me and Chuck. Hindi naman tama yun."

Umorder pa ng isang bucket si Cherrie, then she looks back at me, "Girl, magbakasyon ka na nga lang muna to clear your head. Hindi maganda yan, kung anu anong naiisip mo eh."

I bite my lip. I've done a lot of thinking and I think this is the best option for me. Bukod sa hindi ko ata kayang maging ganito ka-close kay Chuck without sobbing, it's the least I can do for Ms. Claire. She's a really good person and she doesn't deserve the shit those people are giving her.

I hold the hands of my closest friends, "You say tama na ang pagddrama ko diba? So I'm taking action. I'm deciding what's best for the people I care about."

Niyapos ako ni Jem, "How about what's best for me? Pano naman ako bes?"

I smile and hug him back, "I'll just be a phone call away, and we'll make this a regular Friday bonding."

Cherrie joins the group hug and says, "Sali ako guys."

I laugh and I realize I haven't laughed in days.

I feel something in the back of my neck and I moved a little to look at the door at nakita kong nandun si Chuck with his team mates, he's got his hands inside his pants pockets and he's staring at us.

I didn't know if I should smile or nod pero there's a lump na naman in my throat and I can't breathe.

He doesn't even smile or nod, he just walks over to the far side of the bar with his friends and my heart beats a bit slower.

I can't keep doing this to myself.

I bring my attention back to my friends, "I think I'll take that vacation nga. I need fresh air."

- - - Updated - - -

holy crap!!!!!!!

i guessed claire was bright but not THAT bright

papatayuan ko siya ng monumento gawa sa patatas sa monumento!!!!!

Kailangan nga yata ng rebulto. Hahaha

- - - Updated - - -

pa marka muna

busy pa ko sa update nung story na matagal di naupdate

Thank you. Come back. Hehe.

 

[itsjaqen]

Hindi pa official pero LQ na

 

[PadrePio]

Happy to see this series still alive and kicking. Just curious, are some of these taken from from your own personal experiences?

 

[zeus001]

buhay na sb buhayin to ulit

 

[sakura07]

Hindi pa official pero LQ na

Sus. Ganyan naman talaga in real life. Hahaha.

- - - Updated - - -

Happy to see this series still alive and kicking. Just curious, are some of these taken from from your own personal experiences?

Hehe. No Sir. Just a product of my weird imagination. My life's not this exciting or complicated - thank goodness.

Thanks for dropping by.

- - - Updated - - -

buhay na sb buhayin to ulit

Yasss. Na-miss ko 'to guys. Pero nakapagpahinga rin ng ilang araw. Hahaha!

I'll post again later.

- - - Updated - - -

CHAPTER 45

I feel excited and medyo worried at the same time habang buma-byahe ako pauwi sa amin. Last time I visited nung pasko, usually umuuwi lang ako pag may bonggang okasyon gaya ng silver wedding anniversary ng lolo’t lola ko.

Bakit nga ba ako hindi madalas umuwi? Dahil gusto ko yung feeling na independent ako at malayo sa pamilya. Nagpapadala naman ako kina mama at papa at kinakausap ko naman sila lagi, yun lang syempre para hindi sila mag-alala hindi na lang ako nagkkwento ng mga nangyayari sa akin sa Manila. Pero ngayon? Hindi na pwedeng umiwas sa mga tanong nila, malamang pag nakita nila ang mukha ko malaman agad nila na may problema ako kaya ako umuwi.

Napabuntong hininga na lang ako habang tinitingnan ang mga bayan na dinadaanan ng bus na sinakyan ko.

Ka-chat ko si Jem at Cherrie habang nasa bus at nagchi-chismisan na sila sa nagaganap sa office. Bilang Lunes ngayon nag-uupdate sila sa akin ng mga pinag-uusapan dun sa office, ang bali-balita daw ay nagbakasyon si Ms. Claire para makaiwas sa intriga at sinuspinde daw ako dahil sa ginawa ko nung Teambuilding. Mga adik lang, bakit naman ako isususpide e hindi naman ako nag-violate ng policy sa kumpanya.

Mga tanga talaga, nakaka-bad vibes.

Sinabihan ko muna sila Jem at Cherrie na bawal akong chismisan habang malayo ako, wheter good or bad news para hindi maapektuhan ang bakasyon ko. Itinago ko na ang cellphone ko at tumingin sa labas ng bintana.

Nang malapit na ako sa babaan malapit sa bahay namin, medyo nakaramdam ako ng comfort na malapit na ako sa mga taong talagang maaasahan ko na hindi ako iju-judge at paghihinalaan.

“San Jose!” Sumigaw yung kundoktor at tumayo ako bitbit ang backpack ko at isang plastic na puro pasalubong.

Pagbaba ko ng bus nandun na ang pinsan kong si Dan nakasandal sya sa motor nya sabay sabing, “Ay pagkatagal mo ga.”

At iyan ang isa pang dahilan kung bakit hindi ako masyado umuuwi dito, pagbalik ko kasi ng Manila batanguena na ulet ang accent ko.

Inirapan ko lang ang pinsan ko, “Nag-text ako kanina ah, bakit kasi ang aga mo ako sunduin?”

Nag-pretend syang hindi ako naintindihan, “Ano? Ano gang sabi mo? Kainaman karibok e.”

I roll my eyes and put my hands on my hips, “Ako’y nag-text sa iyo kanina, bakit kaaga mo akong kaunin?”

Natawa sya at kinuha ang bag ko at inangkas sa motor nya, “Ayan, inari na!”

Napailing na lang ako at umangkas ng motor nya.


***

“Anak!” Sumigaw ang mama habang bumababa ako sa motor ng pinsan ko.

Napangiti ako ng malaki at binitbit ng pinsan ko ang bag ko habang yumayapos ako sa mama ko. Tinulak ako ng very light ni mama palayo habang iniinspeksyon ang katawan ko, “Kinang impis mo wala ka ga malamon duon?” (translation: Ang payat mo na, wala ka bang makain dun?)

Hindi ko alam kung matatawa o maiiyak ako sa pag-aalala ng mama eh at dahil ang lalim na ng tagalog sa bahay kailangan ng translation.

“Baka me pina pa seksihan na duon, ay sya iyong ipakilala sa amin!” Sumagot naman ang papa habang lumalabas ng bahay.

Napangiti na lang ako at binitiwan si mama para mag-bless kay papa.

“Wala akong boyfriend papa, wala magkagusto sa akin.” Yapos ko pa ang papa ko nang sumagot ang pinsan kong si Dan, “Kagaganda naman ng lahi natin, e kaynaman na taga Maynila yaan, mga bulag ata?”

Bago pa ako makasabat sumagot naman ang tiya kong nakatambay sa tapat ng bahay namin, “Gusto na namin ng bata dito sa bahay, kayoy magsipag asawa na. Ano pa inaantay e natanda?” Sumagot naman ang pinsan ng mama, “Anong gang mahirap? Sa aten nun pag nagdalaga na kerengkeng na kaya un maaga nagsibuntis”

Sinutsutan sila ni mama, “Kaya nde mag uwe ng boyfriend e inuukit nyo.”

Inuukit - ini-istress

Tinutulak ni mama ang likod ko papasok ng bahay, “Baka ikaw e gutom na sya pasok na at nakahayin na.”

And just like that I’m home.


***


Pagka-kain namin nakinig ako sa kwentuhan ng mga tiyahin ko sa labas, hindi ko maintindihan dito sa mga ito kung paano sila araw araw nag-ku-kwentuhan pero hindi nauubusan ng pag-uusapan.

Nandyan ang namatay na malayong kamag-anak, ang nabuntis na kapitbahay pero wala namang boyfriend at kung ano ano pang useless information pero parang big deal pag pinag-usapan nila.

Nang gumabi na, nakasilip ako sa bintana nang pumasok ang pinsan kong si Honey, “Insan! Kamusta ka na? Tagal na natin hindi nagkikita ah.”

Napangiti ako nang naupo sa tabi ko ang pinsan kong kasabayan ko nang lumaki, isa sya sa mga taong pinag-kakatiwalaan ko dito na hindi ikkwento sa mga tiyahin namin ang buhay ko sa Maynila. At sya rin sa Manila na nakatira ngayon, so at least may kausap ako ditong hindi naman sobrang batanguena.

“Musta na ang lovelife?” Tanong ni Honey.

Bigla akong napasimangot at sumagot naman si Honey, “Ayan, ganyan tayo e kaya ka pumunta dito no? Heartbroken ka na naman?”

Nagkunwari akong offended sa accusation nya, “Ako? Insan? Ako ang nang-iiwan no, hindi ako yung iniiwan.”

Sabay bulong ako ng, “Charot.”

“Kayo nga’y magpulong dalawa, baka sa iyo magsasabi at iyan e may problema sigurado” Sabat ni mama habang nag-aayos ng hapunan.

“Wala nga po akong problema, ma. Napag-bakasyon lang ng boss ko.” Syempre mas mahabang paliwanagan kung mag-kkwento pa ako sa nanay ko.

Namewang si mama at humarap sa akin, “Kaw ga e lulusot pa sa ken, kilala kita kahit wala ka dito lagi. Kaw e galing sa ken” Ang mama ko nga naman napaka-sensitive. Tumayo ako at niyapos ang mama ko, “So lam nyo rin dapat ma na hindi nyo ako pinalaking mahina ang loob. Kaya wala lang to, may pinag-dadaanan lang po.”

Sumabat naman si Honey, “Hmm. Daanan mo lang ha, yung huli tinambayan mo eh.”

Inambahan ko ng suntok ang pinsan ko.

“Asan na ang pamangkin ko!” Sigaw naman ng Tita Lilly na malayong pinsan na ng mama ko. Sa probinsya kahit sobrang layo nang kamag-anak e kamag-anak pa rin. Kaya dapat ingat ka sa mga magiging crush mo, alamin mo muna ang ancestry para siguradong walang incest na magaganap.

Binitiwan ko ang mama at humarap kay Tita, “Eto maganda pa rin po.”

Niyapos ako ng mahigpit ng Tita Lily at lumingon lingon sa paligid bago sinabing, “Ay asan na iyong nobyo? Ipakilala mo na, ano gang tagal!”

Huminga ako ng malalim at nagtimpi dahil hindi ko sila pwedeng sagutin kahit anong banas ko, “Ala wala ho, ako’y bakasyon lamang.”

“Ay paano ga makakapag-asawa kung gay-an?” Sabi ng Tita Lily na parang awing awa sa kalagayan ko.

“Baka naman mapili ka laang malamang marami naaligid diyan.” Sabat naman ng isa ko pang tita na nakatambay sa labas ng bahay.

“Wag laang papatol sa me sabit na, tulad ng anak ni ka Nene, ayun nabuntisan lamang.” Sabat naman ng isa naming kapitbahay.

At nag-tuloy tuloy na naman ang chismisan sa labas tungkol sa buhay ng may buhay. Baka ang nangyari sa akin sa office e karma na sa akin tumama dahil sa mga chismosa kong kamag-anak at kapitbahay.

Umupo na ulit ako sa tabi ni Honey at bago lumabas ng bahay si Tita Lily hinaplos nya ang ulo ko, “Ika’y wag mag alala, yae nang matandang dalaga. Ang iyong Tita Vicky diga’y wala asawa e ayos din naman.”

At yan ang isa sa mga top reasons kung bakit hindi ako madalas umuwi dito. Dahil sa mga tanong ng mga taklesa kong kamag-anak na walang ginawa kundi ipamukha sa akin na single ako at most likely magiging single na lang for life dahil advance sila mag-isip.

 

[itsjaqen]

Naayos din ang sb sa wakas. Namiss ko to haha. Eto masaya sa probinsya, pag umuwi ka lang ng minsanan instant superstar ka haha. Nakakatuwang basahin in batangueño accent yung mga linyahan. Laliman mo pa ng terms TS para masaya haha. Pihong tubong batangas ka nga yata

 

[babyPowdeR]

ala eh hindi pa pala are tapos akala ko ay tapos na. ay di mag-aabang na laang ako ng update pagkaganda ng kwento mo ts pang wattpad

 

[sakura07]

Naayos din ang sb sa wakas. Namiss ko to haha. Eto masaya sa probinsya, pag umuwi ka lang ng minsanan instant superstar ka haha. Nakakatuwang basahin in batangueño accent yung mga linyahan. Laliman mo pa ng terms TS para masaya haha. Pihong tubong batangas ka nga yata

Oo nga. Araw araw ako nag-check kung nag-up na sb.
Actually hindi ako taga-Batangas, marami lang kaibigan dun - kaya yang Batangueno is courtesy of my consultant. hahaha! I find their dialect and accent super entertaining, sobrang nakakaaliw pakinggan lalo na yung mga matatandang nag-uusap? Grabe aliw.

Pinili ko rin na mejo hindi sobrang lalim ang dialect para hindi ko kailangan i-translate lahat. hehe.

- - - Updated - - -

ala eh hindi pa pala are tapos akala ko ay tapos na. ay di mag-aabang na laang ako ng update pagkaganda ng kwento mo ts pang wattpad

Maraming salamat.
Nasa Wattpad na actually ito, around 700 plus reads already - highest na sa maikli kong Wattpad career. Char.
Look me up in Wattpad if you're there - @MsLucyYC


- - - Updated - - -

CHAPTER 46

Halos buong linggo akong nagpahinga sa bahay, tambay sa labas ng bahay namin at kausap ng mga pinsan ko at kamag-anak. This is the kind of life na dapat meron ang tao pag may problema, kailangan may pamilya kang mababalikan kapag may mga pinag-dadaanang problema. And I promised myself na mas dadalasan ko ang uwi dito.

During my last day, bumyahe kami ni Honey papunta sa beach malapit sa bayan namin. Black/gray sand sya pero eto ang pinakamagandang beach para sa akin. Hindi dahil sa itsura kundi dahil sa dami ng magagandang memories naming pamilya dito.

Nakaupo lang ako sa basang buhangin habang nakatingin sa tubig.

Naalala ko pa ang mga pinsanan kong kasabay kong lumaki na dito kami naglalaro nun, nagiging ulikba na kami sa sobrang pag-babad sa araw at paglangoy sa tubig. Sobrang simpleng buhay ng mga bata na walang problema. Ang problema ko lang nuon ay kung paano ako makakabalik ng bahay nang hindi napapalo ni mama dahil sa madumi kong damit.

Ngayon parang sobrang kumplikado na ng buhay, #adulting na talaga ang peg ko ngayon. Gone are the days when all you need is your mom’s hug and a band aid to make the bad feelings go away.

May band aid bang nakakagamot ng sugat sa puso? Band aid na nakakabuo ng pagkatao mong in bits and pieces na?

Kapag naiisip ko ang pagbalik ko sa trabaho para harapin ang mga problema dun parang ayoko na. Parang napapagod ako kapag naaalala ko ang mga kailangan kong ayusin na problema.

Pero yan naman ang buhay eh, wala kang magagawa kundi harapin yan araw araw. Mauubos rin naman yang problema, hindi naman yan forever – wala kasing forever.

Napabuntong hininga na lang ako kasi narealize kong hindi lang sya sa lovelife totoo kundi sa buhay totoo rin.

Nakakalungkot isipin na dati sobrang hopeful ako na may forever, na makakahanap ako ng taong magmamahal sa akin kung paano mahalin ng mga lalaki ang bidang babae sa pelikula. Pero ngayon? Parang naniniwala akong too good to be true talaga lahat ng mga pinag-papapanuod ko.

Si Chuck na yata ang pinaka-malapit sa lalaking mga napapanuod ko lang dati sa pelikula. Pang leading man talaga ang dating, pero ako? Ako si Toni Gonzaga at sya si Piolo Pascual. Ako ang tangang babaeng di naman kagandahan pero ipinagpalit ang dream guy nya because of her selfishness.

And that’s exactly what I am – selfish, because I wanted everything for myself. I wanted the guy and I wanted a friend – at dapat narealize kong sa buhay kailangan ng tough decisions. Kailangan mo mamili minsan and that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

When your heart is in the right place and you have good intentions, minsan talaga kailangan mong magdesisyon ng hindi perfect sa lahat ng involved pero you do your best to make sure you make the best decision you can come up with.

“Hay. Ang lalim naman nyan insan.” Sabi ni Honey habang umuupo sa tabi ko.

Naikwento ko na kay Honey ang kalagayan ko sa Manila, syempre galit na galit sya dun sa nagpakalat ng picture namin. Gi-gripuhan na nga daw nya e.

Umakbay lang sya sa akin at sinabing, “Move on na insan, wala na tayong magagawa dun. Nangyari na eh. Tuloy ang buhay.”

“Paano pa ako babalik dun, Honey? Anong mukha ang ipapakita ko dun?” Lahat sila pare-parehong nag-invade ng privacy ko at nag-gawa ng mga sari-sarili nilang conclusions about our relationship at sa kung anong involvement ni Ms. Claire sa amin.

Nagbuntong hininga si Honey at niyapos ako ng mas mahigpit, “Huwag mong problemahin ang mga bagay na hindi mo naman maco-control, ipag-pasa Diyos mo na lang yun. Ang pwede mong control-in ay ang kung paano ka mag-re-react sa mga ginagawa nila sayo.”

Tumingin sya sa akin, “Hindi ka perpekto, oo nagkamali ka sa ibang bagay. Pero hindi mo naman intensyong manakit, pero sila? Yung mga nagpapakalat ng chismis sayo? Sila yung may problema, hindi ikaw.”

Inakbayan nya ako ulet, “Huwag mo na pansinin ang sasabihin ng iba, hindi mo sila mapipigilan magsalita, pero mapipili mong hindi makinig at hindi magpa-apekto.”

Easy to say, hard to do.

Parang narinig nya ang iniisip ko nang sinabi nyang, “Alam kong mahirap gawin yun, pero kaya mo yan. Para lang yang isang bagong skill, parang pag-langoy, dati hindi ka marunong pero kaka-praktis mo at kahit na ilang beses kang muntik malunod natuto ka naman.”

Natawa na lang ako sa example nya.

“Ayan, na miss ko ang tawang yan.” Sabi ni Honey habang tumatawa ako.

Napailing na lang ako at after a few seconds nagseryoso na ulit, “Ang hirap isipin pero parang alam ko na kung anong dapat kong gawin.”

Tinaas ni Honey ang legs nya na naka-bend ang tuhod at pinatong nya ang baba nya sa tuhod nya, “Mahirap talaga pero matatapos rin naman yan, sa una ka lang mahihirapan.”

I nod. Kailangan lang talaga lakasan ng loob sa buhay.

Sa sinabi ni Honey ang tumatak sa utak ko ay ang sinabi nyang I can decide for myself. Ako ang mag-dedesisyon kung anong magpapasaya or magpapalungkot sa akin.

Naisip ko lang dun nga nagsimula ang mga problema ko eh, dahil selfish ako. So dapat yata yun na lang muna rin ang ayusin ko – ang sarili ko.

I need to be at peace with myself bago ko i-try ayusin ang iba ko pang problema. I realize bago ako humingi ng tawad sa iba sa mga pagkakamali ko kailangan ko ring patawarin ang sarili ko.

Na bago ako magpatawad sa ibang taong nakagawa ng masama sa akin, na I have to forgive myself first.

Huminga ako ng malalim at pumikit, may nakatakas na luha sa mata ko and when I opened my eyes, pa-set na ang araw. It’s as if the sun is saying na isabay ko na sa pag-lubog ng araw ang mga hinanakit ko sa sarili ko. Na kailangan kong tanggapin na magkakamali ako dahil tao ako, pero hindi ibig sabihin nun na I will punish myself for the things I’ve done wrong.

I’m not perfect and that’s okay.

I’m a person who makes mistakes.

I deserve my own forgiveness.

So huminga ako ng malalim ulit and with shaky fingers, I tapped my own shoulder and said, “Olga Andrea, pinapatawad na kita.”

Tumingin lang sa akin si Honey at ngumiti.

Naupo lang kami ni Honey dun at pinanuod ang pag lubog ng araw.

 

[itsjaqen]

Oo nga. Araw araw ako nag-check kung nag-up na sb.
Actually hindi ako taga-Batangas, marami lang kaibigan dun - kaya yang Batangueno is courtesy of my consultant. hahaha! I find their dialect and accent super entertaining, sobrang nakakaaliw pakinggan lalo na yung mga matatandang nag-uusap? Grabe aliw.

Pinili ko rin na mejo hindi sobrang lalim ang dialect para hindi ko kailangan i-translate lahat. hehe.

haha tunay ka. Kung makakasinsay ka sa batangas at sa bandang bukir tas mapapakinggan mo matatandang magusap kainaman na. Nakakpangamot na lang minsan eh kakaisip ano ibig sabihin. Karamiha'y malalim na term pero nakaaliw haha. dameng hugot ng chapter na to. nakailang feet ka yata ng hugot dito hahaha salamat sa pagupdate

 

[sakura07]

haha tunay ka. Kung makakasinsay ka sa batangas at sa bandang bukir tas mapapakinggan mo matatandang magusap kainaman na. Nakakpangamot na lang minsan eh kakaisip ano ibig sabihin. Karamiha'y malalim na term pero nakaaliw haha. dameng hugot ng chapter na to. nakailang feet ka yata ng hugot dito hahaha salamat sa pagupdate

Hahaha! Oo, diba? I sound so sane here. hahaha!
Sa dami ng pinag-daanan dapat may matutunan.
Salamat sa pag-suporta.

 

[zeus001]

galeng galeng talga

 

[sakura07]

galeng galeng talga

Thanks! Update coming up.

- - - Updated - - -

CHAPTER 47

“Ika’y mag-iingat, wag na magpaseksi at ika’y hindi naman malusog.” Yapos ako ni mama habang kinakausap.

Niyapos ko ng mahigpit si mama at sumagot, “Opo.” Bumitiw ako kay mama pero habang hawak ang mga braso nya nangako ako, “Balik po ako baka next week, Ma. May mga aayusin lang po sa Manila.”

Ngumiti si mama, “Sya ika’y lumakad na.”

Si papa naman nakaupo sa tumba tumba sa tapat ng bahay namin, lumapit ako at in-open nya ang mga braso nya para makayapos ako. Hinigpitan ko ang yapos ko sa papa at binigyan sya ng matunog na kiss sa pisngi, “Alis na po ako, pa.”

Tumuwid na ako ng tayo at tumayo rin sya sabay sabing, “Ingat ‘nak.”

Tumango lang ako dahil sa totoo lang ayoko na sanang bumalik dun, pero I have no choice. It’s part of being an adult – ang pagharap sa mga pagsubok.

Naglakad ako palayo at sumakay sa motor ni Dan habang kumakaway kina mama at papa.

At nagsimula na ako sa byahe ko pabalik sa lugar na ewan ko ba kung sinumpa sa akin or sadyang sinusubukan lang ang tatag ko.


***

Walking into the building lobby naalala ko yung unang araw ko na nakapasok sa building na ito for my first interview. May iba na akong working experience pero naramdaman kong iba ang magiging experience ko sa Company na ito, since I was mostly agency employee sa mga past jobs ko alam kong malaking opportunity para sa akin na matanggap as direct hire.

Malaki ang building namin and the Company kahit na hindi sobrang sikat, it looks stable and mukhang may growth ang mga employees.

I remember getting the call for the initial interview, sobrang ninerbyos ako pero I knew I had to prepare so I did my research about the company. Sobrang nakatulong yun sa interview ko because I appeared really eager to work here, and that’s a really good thing kasi yun naman ang madalas na hinahanap ng mga employers diba? Yung mukhang kaladkarin, yung kahit anong pagawa mo gagawin nila kasi kailangan nila yung trabaho. And that was me in a nutshell. Kahit na pinag-photocopy lang nila ako the entire first month I was here, I was happy.

Getting into the elevator I remembered my first day as an employee here, I happily put on my I.D. at talagang pinag-handaan ko yung first day outfit ko, even if I was pretty much an errand girl nung first month ko nga, I was still excited.

And I feel sad because yung excitement na yun never faded in my two years here, well except now. Now I feel like I’m dragging my feet just to get to work, it’s been like that for the past few weeks and my vacation hasn’t changed my feelings about it.

It’s another Monday morning but it’s sort of a different Monday for me because now I feel like I have a purpose.

I, Olga Andrea have decided for myself without thinking about anything else other than the fact that I know what I want to do.

I march towards my cubicle and set down my bag and jacket without so much as glancing at the people around me.

I have a plan and I will stick to that plan.

Part one of which is to finish the work that I’ve missed during my vacation.

Game na, Olga. Let’s do this.


***


“Hi Andi. How was your vacation?” Ms. Claire asks me as I set down the 3pm coffee on her desk.

I sigh and give her a sincere smile, “It was good. Thanks ma’am I really needed that.”

She leans back on her chair and I remain standing, “So, are you okay now?”

Alam kong ang tinatanong nya is actually if I’m still thinking of pushing through with my resignation so I take a seat on her guest chair and share with her my plans.

I nod and gave her another smile, “I’m getting better pero hindi pa po totally okay. I don’t think it would ever be completely okay with me – what I hear around the office.”

It’s true kasi kahit na sinusubukan kong hindi magpa-apekto hindi naman ako bulletproof para walang tatagos sa shields na nilagay ko diba? Kapag medyo matatalas talaga ang mga bala nila nakakalusot pa rin.

I look at her again, “I’ve thought about what you said ma’am and with the time off you gave me I really had a good chance to make up a sound decision.”

She looks expectantly at me and I tell her what I have decided, “I’m really going to miss working for you ma’am, but for everyone involved I think it’s better I find work elsewhere.”

She deflates, “Huh? Seriously?”

I smile sadly at her, “I need to do what I think is right ma’am first for myself, I think I’ve given it a shot already to try and ignore the people around me but it’s not working. Second, I still consider you a good friend…”

She smiles and nods so tinuloy ko na, “And as a friend I need to protect you too. My presence here isn’t helping your situation as the boss.”

She sighs and I continue, “And him…” Alam ko namang alam nya kung sino ang sinasabi ko, “I need to move away muna to heal properly, hirap po kasi talaga pag umaasa ka pa rin na maaayos pa and with everyone here thinking badly of us I don’t think I’ll be able to bear it.”

I shrug, “Tao lang rin ma’am, baka may masabunutan ako diyan during company hours matanggal pa ako sa trabaho.”

She grins wickedly, “Tulungan pa kita kung gusto mo.”

Natawa na lang ako, “Di bagay sa inyo ma’am.”

She laughs but then gets serious when she says, “So I can’t convince you to reconsider? Wala na talaga?”

I sigh, “I think it’s for the best ma’am.”

She sighs and gives me a short nod, “I will never ask you to sacrifice your happiness and comfort so I will let you go.”

But she puts her index finger up, “Pero, you must get me a good replacement okay?”

I smile, “Of course ma’am. Di ko kayo iiwan sa ere.”

She puts out her hand and reaches over her desk so I take her hand, she says, “Wala akong makikitang assistant na kagaya mo. I also hope you’ll let me
help you get situated somewhere else.”

I give her a questioning look and she lets go of my hand she bites her lip, “I hope you won’t feel I’m intruding pero am I right to say na wala ka pang lilipatan na Company?”

I nod, “Wala pa ma’am. Actually I just decided that I’m going to resign today so wala po talaga.”

She smiles, “I hope you’ll let me help you in that aspect – as a friend.”

Since wala pa naman talaga akong pinag-apply-an, I smile at her, “Sure ma’am. That would be great.”

She smiles at me at parang may gusto pa syang sabihin so I just sat there; she takes out a paper in her tray and hands it over to me.

She turns serious and says, “We found out who sent out that picture of you.”

Nasa kamay ko na yung papel but I stopped pulling it towards me. Gusto ko pa ba malaman? Will this help me or will this make things worse?

She gives me a smirk, “Someone was very determined to find out who the culprit was, this report was sitting on my desk since I left – ngayon ko lang nabasa.”

Chuck said he would find out who it was and he did.

I flip the paper over para hindi ko makita yung nakasulat and told Ms. Claire, “I’ll think about it if I want to read it ma’am.”

She nods, “It’s your decision. But I will need to impose the Disciplinary Action just so they will know actions have consequences.”

Tumango lang ako, “I’ll need a few hours siguro ma’am but I’ll return this tomorrow.”

She smiles then stands up she holds out her hand and I take it, she shakes it firmly, “It’s been a pleasure, Andi.”

I smile sadly at her, at my friend and say, “Happy to be of service, Boss.”

One down.

 

[itsjaqen]

Interesting. haha nakakunot noo ko at naniningkit mata ko habang nagbabasa baka makita ko kung may nakalagay na pangalan ng culprit haha. abangan ang susunod na kabanata